* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diaryL0ngest p0st ever, i guess .

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 ( 12/10/2008 09:48:00 PM )

Br0ught my i p0d t0uch few days back . Let the pictures d0 the talking . Feel very heartache . Bank acc0unt left a small am0unt 0f m0ney, shall n0t menti0n . L00ks like i g0nna survive with bread and plain water n0w . SIGHS ): Feel happy cause i finally buy it after l0nging f0r s0 l0ng and sad is because i am t0tally br0ke ! N0t sure h0w am i g0ing t0 survive . SIANS . Still quite l0st 0n h0w t0 use it . L0LS, still learning lahs, 0kays .
Really busy t0 0nline these days .
Been having spinning headache and slight fever these days . Feel extremely l0nely, s0metimes feel really l0st, d0n't kn0w wh0 t0 talk t0 . I d0n't really have a l0t 0f friends . I d0n't trust pe0ple that easily anym0re . I realise i have bec0me m0re and m0re em0 . Very sians .
My life feels s0 messy n0w . I need s0me peace 0f mind .
Why d0 miracles d0n't happen 0n me ? Why d0es g00d things always never c0me, bad things keep happening, life is s0 unfair . SIGHS ); Recently t00 many things happen . Shall save the explainati0n .

N0w is festival seas0ns, s0 a l0t 0f pe0ple especially teenagers is 0ut t0 steal . It SUCKS, cause it is very tr0ubles0me when we have t0 make a statement, imgine still have t0 g0 t0 the p0lice stati0n by 0urself t0 take the statement, s0 waste 0f time . I did my statement when the security called in the p0lice and they t00k my statement, s0 why sh0uld i be b0ther t0 g0 again ? Really such a waste 0f time . If y0u can't aff0rd anything, save the m0ney . If n0t, d0n't buy, f0rget ab0ut stealing, 0kays ? Y0u will have a criminal rec0rd f0r the rest 0f the life . Y0ur label in life . The girl wh0 is being caught is 19 years 0ld, waiting t0 g0 Univerisity . If she wanna be 0n bail, the pers0n must be 21 years 0ld and ab0ve and must submit a 5,ooo$ bail sia . WTFish, s0 expensive sia . But her Mum d0n't beileve that she will steal . Her family l00k RICH ! Her Mum even make a hell l0ud 0f n0ise at the p0lice stati0n . S0 unglam . =x

Feel a bit pissed when hear cust0mer calling me "Xia0 Mei Mei", "Madam/Mdm", 0h please d0 i l00k s00000 y0ung and s00000 0ld in y0ur eyes ?!

HEART feel very pain, its BLEEDING, y0u can't SEE it . Tell me what t0 d0, feel s0 l0st . Need advise . I am seri0us in y0u, but y0u treat me like a piece 0f shit . Tell myself have t0 stay str0nger and n0t t0 be weak, but can't help and d0 n0thing, with th0se tears d0wn my cheeks .
Heart is really bleeding hard, scars get deeper again, all thanks t0 y0u . But n0 matter h0w y0u treat me, i am still willing t0 be with y0u and l0ve y0u . Cause i believe in my 0wn feelings . Perhaps i am really hurt, just feel s0 l0st f0r w0rds . N0w all i can d0 is t0 pray f0r the better and f0rget y0u . I d0ubt i can d0 it . But n0 pr0mises, i will try . If y0u ever g0t a chance t0 see my bl0g, i d0 hate y0u f0r hurting me . But i will always l0ve y0u in my heart . I'm seri0us ! N0t a kidding matter . Feel s0 dumb f0r all0wing y0u t0 hurt me alth0ught i kn0w y0u are n0t seri0us in me . Heart feels s0 empty with0ut y0u . Why am i always the 0ne getting hurt ? Can y0u really see my heart bleeding ? Need time t0 fix and heal my br0ken heart n0w . N0 cures f0r it yet . Unhappiness fall up0n me . Sadness c0ver my life with darkness . I'm s0 l0nely and scare in the dark . Just pray f0r the 0ne t0 rescue me is y0u . I'm n0t as str0ng and as happy as y0u see . I am actually very weak inside . Just need s0me0ne t0 be there f0r me whenever i am unhappy . A pity is that y0u are n0t that s0meb0dy .
Everyday l00king at my cellph0ne praying that y0u w0uld give me a text 0r call saying y0u l0ve me, but l00ks like its all my wishful thinking . Y0u were n0t the 0ne . I just need y0u . Y0u are my missing piece 0f puzzle . I d0n't trust any guys w0rds anym0re, thanks t0 y0u ! =D My mind is g0ne, i'm spinning r0und, been day dreaming . Thinking ab0ut y0u and the things y0u said t0 me . H0ping t0 see y0u 0nline . H0pe y0u get the picture 0ne day .

I'm actually a very em0ti0nal pers0n, i may l00k carefree, and happy but deep inside me i am n0t . I am just trying my best t0 l00k happy, at times when i can't handle the pressure i am handling, i will break d0wn and cry . I am nt0 that str0ng either, get em0ti0nally break d0wn easily . Easily influent by pe0ple, hench, i am a very sensitive pers0n . H0nest and straight-f0rward, that is character . Trying t0 get al0ng with pe0ple . And bec0me happy g0 lucky, wish me luck, i am trying t0 d0 n0w . I need l0tsa 0f c0urage, i need y0urs t00 ! Give me help if p0ssible . That all f0r t0day .

PS . PH0T0S will be upl0aded late . Due t0 busy schedule .

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babyLEEN

Labels: i guess =), L0ngest p0st ever