* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diarySTRESS

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 ( 12/16/2008 11:59:00 PM )

I am n0t g0ing t0 pin 0n any h0pes again . Everytime i pin all my h0pe 0n s0mething, end up the h0pes are dashed . Tired 0f seeing repeated happenings . Either d0 i g0ing t0 think t00 much again .

S0rry f0r what i've d0ne t0 y0u . Can y0u f0rgive me ?
F0r y0u its 0ver . But f0r me its n0t 0ver .
I still l0ve y0u . But y0u ?
All 0ur mem0ries, happiness and l0neliness . Tears, smiles . Cry, laughter . Please c0me back .
I miss y0u a l0t . As i've said, its n0t 0ver . F0r me "PAST IS PAST" . If y0u're disapp0inted, s0rry .
I've cried f0r y0u . I've laughed f0r y0u . I've changed just f0r y0u . N0w i'm al0ne just because 0f y0u . N0w i'm al0ne with0ut y0u .
IF i die t0day . What will y0u d0 ? C0me 0ver ? 0r just pretend n0t affected ?
I l0ve y0u after y0u l0ve me .
I wish i am a grass s0 i can cut myself . Y0u're imp0rtant t0 me .
I d0n't kn0w if i'll be 0kay .
Y0u traded everything just f0r me . I never realized that .
I l0ve y0u . I hate y0u .
My 0nly wish f0r n0w is t0 be with y0u . This summer have been my w0rst nightmare with this life 0f mine . Everything have changed . Y0u rem0ved my w0rries .
N0w i've thr0wed my dreams since i've d0ne this . I'm l0nely f0r a year .
My sunshine bec0mes my night . My happiness bec0mes a crap . Plenty lies .
Y0u're n0t here . I'm al0ne waiting f0r yu0 t0 c0me back .
I kn0w y0u can tell i l0ve y0u . I kn0w y0u can feel it t00 . But please d0n't leave me here because y0u kn0w i l0ve y0u .
I d0n't think i have the strength t0 let y0u g0 . Everything i said and did, wasn't just deceiving .
The grass is always greener 0n the 0ther side 0f the earth .
I am n0t thinking t00 much . Just suddenly feel like typing what is 0n my mind and i happen t0 see this phases 0nline s0 decide t0 p0st 0ut in my bl0g as well . Its alm0st the same as my thinking . I kn0w 0ver is 0ver and i am n0t g0ing t0 dwell 0n it again .

Damn it . Recently feel very tired easily . When i am at w0rk, when i travel t0 w0rk, when i g0 h0me . I feel sleepy at all times . Keep yawning n0n st0p .
Fcuk, fcuk & BIG BIG fcuk sia . Kn0w why i am s0 pissed 0ff ?
Is beacuse my ph0ne can be fixed but at 217 bucks, will y0u fix it if y0u were me ?
What the FISH l0rs, s0 expensive, all my c0lleague sugguest i get a new ph0ne, just n0t w0rth fixing it . But a NEW ph0ne is n0t cheap either . I L0VE that ph0nea l0t al0t . Use it f0r less than 6 m0nths sia and i upgraded my plan that time and its ar0und 200 plus bucks lehs . Fcuk right ? L0LS . Still c0nsidering whether t0 fix it . DAMN, DAMN, DAMN lahs . My mind just keep thinking ab0ut my ph0ne and n0thing else interest me . Including him .
0ff t0day and t0m0rr0w, cause will be d0ing st0cktake at Viv0 City . Think will be d0ing it due m0rning . It will be very tiring and a l0t 0f w0rk . Wish me luck, and d0n't fall alseep there . I feel super sleepy n0w . Been MSN-ING and playing 0nline games . B0RED lahz .

Been having fastf00d cravings . Eating fastf00d alm0st everyday . =p Gr0wing fatter and my dark circles get deeper and deeper . Sleeping really late . Can't sleep . Ins0mnia . Ice-cream and ch0c0late cravings is next . =) Leading life unhealthy . Its my life . But sm0ke lesser n0w . Its g00d news . =D Mummie will be glad t0 hear this .

i NEED m0ney urgently . Deadly br0ke .
W0rk is stressful, cr0wds is there . A l0t 0f pe0ple, sales is d0ing g00d, h0pe can hit target this m0nth and get c0nmissi0n . L0tsa 0f teenagers sh0p and try 0n the cl0thes but didn't buy . FCUK sia . N0 m0ney stay at h0me, better . D0n't waste pe0ple's time and n0 m0ney d0n't g0 steal . STUPID sia, y0ur future g0ne already .
STRESS is just ar0und the c0rner .
Feel guilty f0r my retail therapy . And this SUCKS . Cause i supp0se celebrate my Daddie, Mummie & Sister's birthday this m0nth f0r them, by bringing them 0ut t0 eat 0r whatever but due t0 i spend my m0ney unnecessary, i d0n't think i can d0 it . SIGHS ): Have t0 start saving f0r the next upc0ming pay .
Few m0re days t0 CHRISTMAS, what is y0ur christmas wish ?
Any present in mind ?
C0unting d0wn t0 2oo9 !
Next is Chinese New Year, Valentine Day & My birthday ! (:
Anyway, year 2008 isn't a g00d year f0r me . H0pe in year 2oo9, i will have a peaceful life and everything g00d and n0t tr0ubles again . I want a brand new life !

PS. MERRY CHRISTMAS in advanceee ! In case i MIA 0r never 0nline f0r the next few days . ((;

l0ves & misses
babyLEEN