* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diaryFINAL P0ST

Thursday, September 3, 2009 ( 9/03/2009 11:01:00 AM )

Its been s0me time since I p0st ph0t0s .
I want t0 bl0g !
S0 many things t0 bl0g .
0ff day, I decide t0 r0t at h0me and stick t0 my PSP and deskt0p . (:
Was bl0g h0pping, there are s0 many girls wh0 is a l0t lucky than me . They've everything .
Like l0ve, friends, m0ney, but I g0t n0thing . S0unds pathetic . Self pity .

Wa, PCD figure is s0 h0t, they're the b0dy that kills ! N0 w0nder s0 many guys are crazy ab0ut them . L0ls .
I watch their MV . They s0 h0t !
My c0lleague says that all their lingerie is sp0ns0r by Vict0ria Secret f0r a lifetime !

Love Zodiac Profile- Taurus

If you are Taurus:
You are an extremely gentle and caring lover. You are totally loyal in your relationships. You prefer to be in a serious relationship. You are a very understanding lover. You love to be pampered by your loved one. At times, you get very possessive about your partner. Your partner loves you for the intimacy and affection you show. You are a tender lover and do not show too much aggression. You tend to be open in your relationships. You do not hide things from your partner and expect the same in return.

Your kissing style:
Your kisses are very soft and memorable. You love to proceed in a slow manner.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
cook great food for you, pamper you, be dependable and honest, etc.

You are more compatible with - Leo, Scorpio, Virgo, Capricorn
You are less compatible with - Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries

The bel0w I g0nna p0st is ab0ut Mr N .St0ries 0f me and Mr N .
Y0u might n0t see this p0st 0r y0u might .
Whether y0u did see leaves t0 fate .
It d0esn't matter anym0re, its just f0r y0u t0 see .
Everything c0me s0 far, but it's still t0wards the ending .
Th0ugh the st0ry is sh0rt but I like the st0ry line between y0u and me .

Why y0u are hurting me s0 deeply and I still l0ve y0u ?
That the p0wer 0f l0ve, I guess . I l0ve y0u wh0leheartly but g0t shit in return .
I th0ught y0u were different fr0m 0ther guys . But y0u're same like 0ther jerks and assh0le . I been giving y0u a l0t 0f chances, but ended up with disapp0intment, tears, and unhappiness . Y0u always t00k me f0r granted . Y0u d0n't deserve my tears . Y0u d0n't deserve my l0ve . Y0u lied again and again . Alth0ught I kn0w y0u lie, I still trust and l0ve y0u . But I g0t n0thing back in return just a br0ken heart . F0r y0ur sake, I'm f0rgive and f0rget . But I am n0t this pers0n anym0re . Been s0ft hearted t0wards y0u, but this time I must n0t .
0kays, let's be fair . I lie t0 y0u ab0ut s0mething t00 . J is n0t my friend . J is 0nly my fantasy, my imginative best guy friend . I lie because I wanted all y0ur attenti0n and all y0ur l0ve and heart . And we will quarrel because 0f this . S0unds stupid . But sl0wly y0u begin n0t t0 care . I been finding chances t0 tell y0u but later I decided n0t t0 clarify with y0u .
H0nestly I can say that I have m0re sadness than happiness .
But ... I still l0ve y0u, n0 matter h0w y0u hurt me but in the end y0u ch00se t0 give up and left me with0ut a w0rd . Perhaps y0u g0t new GF . I d0n't kn0w and d0n't wish t0 kn0w anym0re, it will cause m0re pain if I kn0w . Y0u always kept quiet, n0t saying anything .
There are s0 many things I still wanna tell y0u . I wanna hug y0u s0 much . I wanna meet y0u s0 much . I d0ubt we will meet again . The reas0n I ask y0u t0 meet 0ut is because I h0pe t0 see and hug y0u f0r the last time . And pass y0u the present which is supp0se t0 be y0ur birthday present . Supp0se t0 give it t0 y0u 0n y0ur birthday but we have t00 much misunderstanding between us that time .
But I guess y0u d0 n0t need it anym0re cause y0u already g0t 0ne . I can't bear t0 delete y0ur messages, and 0ur ph0t0s . But I've t0 . And I've deleted everything, I d0 n0t want t0 think ab0ut y0u anym0re, seri0usly .

I was 0nce a happy girl . And that is en0ugh f0r me . Desprite
I miss hearing y0u calling me Miss Unhappy, y0u'll always be my MR HAPPY, MR N . N0w whenever I see th0se c0nversati0n we used t0 chatted in MSN, I'll still smile, find it very sweet, but my tears will start t0 r0ll d0wn my cheeks .
The MSN c0nversati0n we chatted still makes me smile . I will still l00k at it alm0st every time when I'm 0nline . I will think ab0ut y0u . Its y0u I wanted s0 much .
Alth0ught it ended, but everyday I been praying f0r miracles . H0ping t0 see y0ur message and praying that y0u w0uld call me . The m0re I wanted it t0 happen, it w0n't happen .
Y0u're the type 0f guy, expect pe0ple t0 tell y0u h0w they feel, what they want . I just h0pe y0u kn0w everything instead 0f me telling y0u . I d0ubt we can be t0gether again .
N0w I finally kn0w why y0u wanted t0 av0id me s0 much, y0u d0n't wish t0 c0ntact me and meet me s0 much . The main reas0n is because y0u d0n't l0ve me anym0re . Y0u kept quiet perhaps y0u're scare 0f facing me and d0 n0t kn0w h0w t0 tell me .
If y0u wanna give up 0n me, just tell me, let me give up 0n y0u, and n0t give me h0pe and I will still think I've g0t h0pe and keep trying .
But y0u really changed a l0t c0mpare t0 the previ0us y0u, the 0ne wh0 have n0t enter NS yet . If I can ch00se, I w0uld want the 0ld, nerdy y0u instead 0f a ____ n0w .
But n0w I sh0uld be feeling happy cause I d0n't have t0 w0rry and think ab0ut s0me0ne wh0 d0n't deserve it and thinking that pers0n w0uld betray me .
I w0n't cry anym0re, my eyes is sw0llen and red f0r days . And pe0ple keep asking if I g0t eye infecti0n 0r did y0u just cry . I've n0 eye infecti0n, I guess . But I cried . And I guess the main reas0n is because I w0re c0ntact lens f0r m0nths .
Break d0wn a l0t 0f times at w0rk, can't c0ntr0l myself . D0 y0u kn0w ? Y0u kn0w n0thing .
Whenever I listen t0 the transf0rmers s0ng I w0uld think 0f y0u, cause it was transf0rmers m0vie that br0ught us back again . Fr0m n0w 0n, I w0n't get t0 watch m0vie and g0 h0me late anym0re . Back t0 my em0 l0nely w0rld . I w0n't g0 t0wn that 0ften, reminded me t00 much 0f y0u .
I d0 n0t kn0w when y0u tell me y0u l0ve me, y0u're seri0us 0r just faking it .
It's time f0r y0u t0 gr0w up and treasure the pe0ple ar0und y0u and be h0nest and true .
I think y0u're very immature . All y0u d0 is lie, lie, lie like a 3 years 0ld kid .
Y0u sh0uld start learning t0 l0ve y0urself first bef0re l0ving s0me0ne .
And I've learnt t0 stay str0nger in this R/S . I have learnt that when y0u l0ve s0me0ne wh0leheartly, the pers0n might n0t d0 the same in return and w0n't be faithful .
I guess I w0n't be hearing fr0m y0u and get t0 see y0u again .
Y0u hurt me deep, I will rememeber y0u f0r life ~ !
Last but n0t least .
I miss y0u . I still want t0 meet y0u and c0ntact because I still care . Y0u will never kn0w, y0u always think I'm such a bad and l0usy GF, I'm n0thing and such a l0ser in y0ur eyes . Y0u treated me like shit . I kn0w y0u w0n't care anym0re . I w0n't say much either .
Perhaps t0 y0u, my wish is t00 hard t0 difficult t0 be granted, I just want y0u t0 be faithful .
Anyways, last l0ng with y0ur new GF . Thanks f0r everything and the w0nderful mem0ries .
I might need a l0nger time t0 get 0ver the w0und and hurt .
Y0u're the 0nly pers0n wh0 I dare t0 say what I wanna say in fr0nt 0f y0u, y0u're the 0nly pers0n wh0 I dare t0 be brave 0f .
I'll never get t0 see y0u again . Maybe its my fault . Perhaps I'm being t00 selfish ?
Heart feels s0 numb right n0w . I w0n't waste my time waiting f0r y0u anym0re . Y0u are just n0t w0rth it . Y0u might n0t w0rth it n0w, but I'll always remember hard that I 0nce l0ve y0u s0 deeply and the feeling is irreplaceable .
KN0W Y0U'RE HAPPIER THAN BEF0RE . After this p0st, we will n0 l0nger bel0ngs t0 each 0ther . We will might n0t meet and c0ntact each 0ther . I guess I will n0t get t0 see y0u 0r c0ntact y0u ever again . As l0ng as y0u're happy, I'm happy t00 ! I might need a l0nger time t0 get 0ver it . But I h0pe y0u can d0 s0mething f0r me, delete my MSN acc0unt, and pretend n0t kn0wing each 0ther if we happen t0 meet in the streets, this time I wanna give up wh0leheartly . _____ y0u always ! I will upl0ad the ph0t0 we taken here, if bl0gger d0es n0t went insane again . First and last ph0t0 ever ! Treat it as a mem0ry . I will upl0aded y0ur ph0t0 t00 . But I will delete everything after that . S0 that I w0n't be reminded 0f y0u . I d0n't mean anything here . Either d0 I hate y0u .
The last final g00dbye . Farewell . All the best ! Take care always !

Switching t0 LiveJ0urnal fr0m n0w 0nwards . But if I want, I might still bl0g here ! (:
LJ d0es n0t have tagb0ard, y0u can c0mment me there and tag at my tagb0ard here ! I will still c0me back here and check 0n my bl0g . (= L0ves y0u peeps ! xoxo

Xoxo

Labels: FINAL P0ST