* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diarySick .

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 ( 10/13/2009 12:56:00 AM )

Imgine wake up in the middle 0f the night t0 thr0w up . Feeling very sick . Having slight fever . Gastric flu, v0mitted everything I ate and drink . Mummy even th0ught I'm pregnant ! D0ts ... Feels very weak . Alm0st fainted, black0ut whenever I see things . Luckily I g0 see d0c instead 0f g0ing t0 w0rk . Sister went t0 the d0c with me .
Didn't g0 t0 w0rk . F00d I ate d0es n0t digest, keep thr0wing up instead . T0tally n0 appetite . I c0uld 0nly eat small servings and eat 0nly p0rridge and s0up related f00d . Sad all my fav0urite, unhealthy f00d I can't eat at the m0ment .
Super hungry, d0n't dare t0 eat .
MC f0r tw0 days . 26 bucks . 0n the way back h0me, we saw s0mething really eerie . We saw the swing m0ving by its self, when there's n0b0dy and there's n0 wind .
Just t00k a sh0rt nap in the aftern00n, and I can't sleep n0w . Arghhhh .
Weakness : 0nce sick, need a l0nger time t0 rec0ver . Hates taking medicine . Will thr0w up immediately . This 0ften 0ccurs since y0ung .
I can't aff0rd t0 fall sick, cause I kn0w myself very well, 0nce I'm sick I will take ar0und 0ne m0nth t0 be fully rec0ver . I've been very weak since y0ung, s0 Daddy and Mummy t00k extra care 0f me .
I'm guess I'm falling sick due t0 insufficient rest and sleep, been w0rking full shift, chi0ng all the way lia0s ! I'm d0ing this f0r my future . I d0n't wanna waste my time anym0re .

G00d l00ks will eventually fade . But l00ks are definite imp0rtant t00 ! But we 0ften get attracted by the 0pp0site sex with their g00d l00ks first, isn't it ? Well, at least f0r me .
Was supp0se t0 g0 clubbing last Saturday, Eugene (g0d br0ther) ask me al0ng, but was very last minute . S0 unable t0 make it . And the entry fee is ex, and I've have t0 g0 h0me al0ne, that makes my p0cket a bigger h0le . =x
I think I did menti0n that I might n0t g0ing clubbing anym0re . =)
G0t the urge 0ut 0f sudden . M00d is there . Hard t0 get my interest back .

My current 0bsessed : nice dresses, vintage styles, killer heels, fashi0n sh0w, f00d sh0w, car sh0w, music !
Hunting f0r the best f00d ever !

I g0t plenty 0f s0ft t0ys at h0me . And I l0ve buying s0ft t0ys . Addictive t0 it .
I w0uld even buy Mcd0nalds happy meal f0r the sake 0f the t0y . N0w y0u see h0w crazy I'm 0ver t0ys . Shall upl0ad the ph0t0 0nline 0ne day . I g0t a habit everyday, that is hug my sp0ngeb0b t0 sleep every night with0ut fail . I've never g0t the habit 0f hugging a s0ft t0y t0 sleep . But n0w I must hug it everyday with0ut fail . (:

Everyday I walk pass this sh0p named "Sh0p H0use" . Its a sh0p that sells watch 0f different brand . There is 0ne Hug0 B0ss square faced watch I been eyeing f0r m0nths, intended t0 buy and give him as 0ur 0ne m0nth anniversary present, but n0w everytime I walk pass the st0re, I will imgine h0w nice it will l00k . It fited his wrist s0 much . But recently the watch is n0 l0nger 0n display 0n the wind0ws shelves . 0nly the r0und faced left .
Can't help but think w0nder h0w he is d0ing n0w . After all we have n0t c0ntact and see each 0ther f0r tw0 m0nths, time really flies, we have been separated f0r nearly tw0 m0nths . I guess his life is a l0t happier with0ut me . Time t0 fully erase him 0ff my brain, I've n0 reas0ns t0 think anym0re . What g0ne is g0ne . What l0st is l0st . I hate l0ve . Damn th0se sweet mem0ries .
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
This pr0ves that I've n0 reas0n t0 think back but l00king f0rward . Falling in and 0ut 0f l0ve . I wish that I c0uld tell y0u s0mething t0 take it all away .
There's s0 many things that I want y0u t0 kn0w . I w0n't give up till its 0ver . If its takes you f0rever I want y0u t0 kn0w . Tell me y0u w0n't give up .
That if you fall, stumble down
Ill pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
Ill give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause
Ill be waiting if you fall
Oh you know Ill be there for you
Falling apart .
Where were you, when everything was falling apart.
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
Y0u were like my guardian ; wh0 stands by me when I'm weak .
Y0u were like a tree ; trying t0 pr0tect me fr0m harm .
Y0u were my l0ve ; last g00dbye .

Bangk0k, thailand, hawaii, k0rea, 0saka, las vegas, new y0rk, taiwan, h0ng k0ng and etc ...
Very s00n I g0nna left with n0thing .
Regretted f0r wasting my m0ney 0n unnecessary items .
Regretted with my life .
F0r n0t cherishing the pe0ple I l0ve and care in the past . T00k things f0r granted . I h0pe its n0t t00 late n0w . I wanna spend m0re time with family, I've 0nly g0t 0ne family, I wanna l0ve and treasure bef0re I regrets .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Labels: him, s0ft t0ys, sick, treasuring .