; CHARLEEN.L ~ Farewell unhappiness . (:

FINAL P0ST . FINAL G00DBYE .

2009-12-31T23:40:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! (:
It is a new year ahead !
2o m0re minutes will be year 2o1o !
H0pe every0ne will be safe, happy and healthy ! =)
Cheers . Peace ! =D L0VE L0VE .
Take care always . X0x0 .

Anyway, just t0 inf0rmed every0ne 0r th0se wh0 read my bl0g, I will n0t be bl0gging here anym0re 0r sh0uld I say f0r n0w . Will keep this bl0g f0r mem0ries . Well, I've m0ved !

Let this p0st end the bl0g and marks the last day 0f year 2009 . (:

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

G00DBYE ?!

2009-12-29T00:46:00.003+08:00

Seeing him 0nline again makes me happy .
But we are b0th silent, didn't chat with 0ne an0ther .
Perhaps he have already m0ve 0n with his life and have f0rg0tten me t0tally .
Its g00d .

This might BE the last time I'm bl0gging ab0ut ______ .

Anyway, tw0 m0re days and its year 2010 .
N0t much wishes just the usual wishes I make .
I h0ped pe0ple ar0und me t0 be safe, happy and healthy always ! (:

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Bad m00d .

2009-12-28T23:30:00.003+08:00

Updating bl0g late t0day cause I went 0ut in the aftern00n and did s0me sh0pping .
But was s0 pissed, sh0uld have received pay t0day but was delayed again .
Supp0se t0 g0 sh0pping but ended up buying m0re with0ut planning what t0 get bef0rehand .
Luckily I br0ught my 0ther bank ATM card al0ng if n0t die ... 0nly can see but can't buy .
I br0ught 0ne l0ng sleeve shirt f0r w0rk, black skinny jeans f0r w0rk, tunic dress, eyelash glue and earpiece f0r my I p0d t0uch .
0h ya f0rget t0 say that t0day is a special day .
Its Mummy and Sister's birthday !
Yeahs, y0u didn't heard wr0ngly .
Its THEIR birthday .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T0 MUMMY & SISTER ! (:

L0VE L0VE . <3

Can't help but think ab0ut ____ again .
Tw0 is N0T better than 0ne . After the breakup, I realize a l0t 0f things, d0esn't mean y0u stay faithful in a relati0nship y0ur partner will stay faithful t00 .
I grew str0nger c0mpare t0 bef0re .
S0 much I wanted t0 say 0ut, I guess this time I am hiding all my em0ti0ns inside . I w0n't tell any0ne fr0m n0w 0n . Its the best way 0ut this way .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen (:

Festive Seas0n .

2009-12-24T00:51:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas t0 all !
Desprite t0day is Christmas Eve . Just wanna wish that every0ne I kn0w is happy, healthy, safe, g00d and s0und . Peace ! =)

Eye g0t infecti0n again . S0 have t0 wear glasses again . Damn .
C0mputer damn laggy . Sl0w .

S0rry I can't be perfect .
Miss hearing y0u call me baby .
L00king back at the chat l0gs we used t0 chatted till late nights th0se mem0ries is still there, my feeling still unchanged but why are y0u the 0ne wh0 changed ?
I still can't get 0ver y0u .
Y0u said that y0u are willing t0 d0 everything f0r me, will never lie t0 me, make the relati0nship w0rks, l0ve each 0ther as much as we can, y0u pr0mise me that y0u will be there f0r me but I'm al0ne n0w .
I d0n't l0ve y0u en0ugh and d0esn't treat y0u better than y0ur ex gf that why y0u're leaving me ?
I can't believe that y0u have changed .
All just bel0ngs t0 the past .
D0n't ever turn back anym0re .
Treasure y0ur life, Charleen.L !!!

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Sh0rt p0st .

2009-12-21T17:58:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T0 DADDY ! (:

L0VE L0VE . <3

I'm staying at h0me, playing c0mputer again .

S0 sians, everytime 0ff day stay at h0me I als0 sians .

Last few years I am al0ne, last year I am al0ne and this year I'm spending my Christmas and year end al0ne again .

I guess its meant t0 be in this way .

Br0ke, waiting f0r pay .

A l0t 0f items wanting t0 buy .

I think ...

If 0nly ...

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Reflecti0ns . (:

2009-12-17T16:19:00.003+08:00

Even my 0ff day I can't get t0 sleep peacefully 0r rest at h0me .
Sighs ):
Was supp0se t0 be able t0 sleep till aftern00n, perhaps ?
But was being w0ke up .
Damn .

Daddy upgrade his ph0ne line s0 I g0t new ph0ne ! =D S0 HAPPY !
Celebrated Daddy's birthday in advance . (:
He treated us 0ut t0 eat, we even invite Aunt al0ng .
After that we went t0 Sheng Si0ng t0 sh0p . =)
Daddy paid everything . Hahas .
Br0ught a l0t 0f ch0c0lates, Sister and Br0ther keep c0mplaining that I been eating unhealthy, and then n0t excerising and keep c0mplaining that I am fat !
I must diet n0w, cut d0wn 0n fast f00d, ch0c0lates and sweets !
L0ls, if 0nly I success .

I've been very g00d, why d0esn't g0d grant my wish by helping Grandpa t0 rec0ver ?
N0thing lasts .
Especially pr0mises .

Reflecti0ns 0n what I've d0ne and have happened this year:

1. Waste m0ney 0n items I d0n't need

2. Grandpa legs being amputated

3. Fall in and 0ut 0f l0ve

4. Br0ken hearted

5. Reshufflement in w0rk l0cati0n

6. Arguements

etc etc etc ...

Can't remember .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

HAHA .

2009-12-15T01:24:00.004+08:00

I'm getting lazier and lazier each day t0 bl0g, cause I find n0thing interesting t0 bl0g . L0ls .
0kays, I'm s0 excited t0 g0 club t0m0rr0w, can't wait .
H0pe I w0n't be m00dy t0m0rr0w ! PMS ! ):
Last Wednesday I started t0 g0 clubbing again .
I can enj0y myself with0ut have t0 think I'm being c0ntr0lled 0r what-s0-ever . And guess wh0 I saw in the club ?
I saw my ex, the jerk .
H0w dare he g0 club with his gf (I guess) luckily I was smart, didn't patch back with him when he asked .
Still pretended n0t t0 see and kn0wn me .
The m0re I av0id seeing him, I sees him . Freaking me 0ut .

Few m0nths later I'll turning my 20s . (; Arghhhh, time really flies . I feel like I'm getting 0lder and 0lder .

Well, t0night will be my last day at N0vena Square w0rking after that I will be transfered 0ut t0 0ther place . I will n0t state the place I g0 here . Ask me if y0u wanna kn0w the asnwer .
I will miss the pe0ple I kn0wn there and the nice security I just g0t t0 kn0wn, nice friendly pe0ple . (: A bit bu she de t0 leave . But new changes is g00d f0r me .

S0re thr0at . Sick s00n .

Upl0ading my current ph0t0 s00n . =) Stay tuned !

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Untitled .

2009-12-06T12:33:00.005+08:00

Deleting unkn0wns c0ntacts in MSN .
Can't make up my mind whether t0 delete ____ .
I supp0se t0 f0rget him, but here I am thinking ab0ut him again .
Silly me keep thinking that we c0uld get back t0gether again but all al0ng I'm just his spare tyre and his t0y . He just wanted a status f0r that, a GF indeed .
Why am I feeling this way again ?
Is it because I can't get 0ver him ?
I hate the way I feel n0w .
He is such a jerk, I mean l00k at the way he treated me, I am utterly disapp0inted . N0 matter what, a le0pard will never change its sp0ts and w0uld never changed .

Sighs, sighs, sighs .
Things always d0n't turn 0ut t0 be the way I wanted . N0 matter what I d0, n0 matter what I say . I shall end it all here . Given up 0n him .

En0ugh talking ab0ut it . Lets n0t talk ab0ut unhappy things .
Talk ab0ut happy things !!!
Yesterday met up with Mr Han S0ng, and he was late, I reached there early, felt panicked cause I d0n't wanna wait like a idi0t s0 kept calling him but t0 n0 avail, text him he didn't reply, such a idi0t, was supp0sed t0 catch a m0vie but the tickets at Cineleisure is selling fast s0 we decided t0 g0 t0 Plaza Sing t0 try 0ur luck instead but the h0urs there sh0wed is late t00, s0 we have 0ur dinner instead . He treat me Swensen . (: Happy happy . But I still prefer catching m0vie, its a l0ng time since I watch 0ne .

L0ve l0ve .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Lifeless, restless .

2009-12-04T00:49:00.004+08:00

0kays, I'm lazy with bl0gging lately, s0 the p0st y0u see in my bl0g is un-edited and I didn't c0l0ur my f0nt .
I have n0t yet edit my previ0us p0st .
I will edit when I g0t the m00d t0 bl0g again .

I think I must be stupid t0 trust y0ur w0rds again .
But ...
I'm being t00 s0ft-hearted .
Sighs ):
But I knew that y0u're n0t seri0us at all . S0 n0 p0int talking it anym0re . I w0n't trust y0u .
Hate myself f0r being s0ft-hearted time and time again . And always being taken f0r granted like a piece 0f sh*t .

I've decided n0t t0 buy I p0d Nan0, FCUK watch and have decided t0 fix my FCUK watch that have scratches .

Cigarette and music is my life .
0h n0, I'm craving f0r p0pc0rn and m0vies .
Damn, everything I d0 is unsuccessful, very sick and tired 0f life .
I really hate it when pe0ple was supp0se t0 meet me 0r whatever but last minute cann0t make it, I mean, wh0 likes being put aer0plane last minute . Damn pissed lahs .
I swear n0t t0 trust, believe pe0ple w0rds and n0t ask pe0ple 0ut anym0re .
Pe0ple always t00k me f0r granted and I've en0ugh !
M00d n0t g00d n0w .
Em0 .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

This is life .

2009-12-03T14:01:00.003+08:00

Fcuk the bl00dy c0nnecti0n . Pr0xy and firewall, what the heck !
Damn Singtel !
I hate Singtel lahs !
First, I can't c0nnect t0 the Internet, then I can c0nnect t0 the MSN, n0w I wanted t0 visit pages like Faceb00k, Y0utube and Yah00, just can't access . I need help badly !
And I think my deskt0p kanna virus . What c0uld I d0 ?
The wh0le c0mputer just feel very laggy and sl0w .
S0 I hate using the net n0w .
Back t0 n0rmal (Internet) . Damn pissed 0ff, I typed everything 0ut and the fcuking internet c0nnecti0n went insane !

0ff t0day, went t0 visit Grandpa with Sister just n0w in the aftern00n .
It breaks my heart t0 see him like this .
B0th his legs is amputated . He keep c0mplaining that his legs is painful .
I remember last time when we are y0ung, he will n0t f0rget t0 buy l0llip0p, sweets and yakult f0r us . But s0meh0w, Mummy d0esn't like him t0 d0 that .
He d0te 0n us a l0t last time .
Regretted f0r n0t spending m0re time with him when he is able t0 walk, n0w he can 0nly use wheelchair and the saddest part is that he can't rec0gnise me and my Sister, he 0nly remember Br0ther . But Br0ther is busy with w0rk s0 he d0 n0t have time t0 see him . All his excuses . If we c0uld visit him 0ften when he is healthy, at least we c0uld catch up with him and his health . I l0ve my family a l0t . But s0metimes find it hard t0 sh0w care and c0ncern t0wards them, perhaps is because I'm t00 shy and n0t g00d at expressing myself .

What is happening t0 me ?
Why d0 I feel this way ?
My c0nfident level dr0pped . Have n0 c0nfident d0ing anything .
What 0n earth is happening t0 me ?
I can't seem t0 have any c0nfident and c0urage d0ing things .
Where have the real me g0ne t0 ?
And my c0nfident ? Why w0uld this happen t0 me ?

L0neliness can spread just like a flu .
y0u might spread it t0 y0ur friends and y0ur friends will spread t0 their friends and it will be like a cycle, with n0 ending .
S0 l0neliness kills .
N0w I kn0w the real reas0n why I'm a s0 in-secure and n0t trusting pers0n . Cause I'm l0nely .
S0metimes I feel extreme l0nely in this w0rld . As th0ugh I have n0thing .

H0pe s0meday I can be truely happy and find my happiness ! Hahaz .
Let happiness find me . (:

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

r a n d 0 m

2009-11-30T00:43:00.006+08:00

Sister claimed that this is s0-called ART . L0ls .

Wa, sh*t lahs, I accidentially dr0pped my FCUK watch and there is scratches 0n it . Damn !
S0 unlucky after I br0ught the watch, it is either that isn't any pr0tecti0n f0r the screen 0r the "diam0nds" dr0pped 0ff .
The staff must be find me very ann0ying, keep g0ing them f0r help . ):
I really l0ve this watch t0 bits, I h0pe they can d0 s0mething f0r me when I sh0w them t0m0rr0w . (:
* Pray * * Pray *

Is there somebody who still believes in love?
I know youre out there
Theres got to be somebody
I search around the world
But I cant seem to find
Somebody to love
You fall in love?
Then let me show you love
Give me the key to your heart
I can give you what you want
When youre waiting for love
And youre lookin for someone

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

2009-11-29T21:27:00.004+08:00

Ph0t0s again !!! =)

My mind is blank, right n0w .
S0 I d0n't kn0w what t0 type .
Anyway, I'm happy that I will be able t0 wear my c0ntacts again 0n M0nday .
But I g0nna wear them 0n Tuesday, which is 0n the 1st .

I'm 0ff t0day, like finally !
S0 happy lahz, received my pay already !
Th0ught I c0uld sleep till 11 0r 12 am but Mummie wakes me up early in the m0rning, saying that we w0uld be visiting Grandpa later . I was telling her t0 let me sleep m0re but sh0rtly after she step 0ut 0f my r00m, I w0ke up, I remember telling her that I wanted t0 visit him (Grandpa) when I 0ff . N0w the chance have c0me !
And s0, I sh0wer, g0t dressed up, makeup and 0ff we g0 .
I was s0 sh0cked t0 see Grandpa . He bec0me m0re skinny . My heart aches t0 see him like this and his leg g0t amputated . But the 0ther leg may be amputated t00, up0n hearing that, I feel very sad, he can't g0 anywhere he like, like he did in the past, 0ther than staying at h0me .
The ward he is staying in is very h0t and there's n0 TV . If its f0r me, n0 TV, n0 gadgets, I w0uld die .

Recently I met a l0t 0f cute guys, I mean, they are really cute, they're my type .
I feel extreme shy when I saw them especially when I l00k ugly in th0se nerdy spec .
S0metimes when I'm w0rking, I can't help but hunt f0r cute guys, then my c0lleague will say that I'm "hua chi" (mandarin f0r crazy 0ver men) . I was like, WTH lahs .
I mean I just feel happy when I saw them n0t t0 the extreme that I will get their c0ntact n0 0r stalk them .
But s0meh0w, I am still afraid 0f getting hurt, again . After all, the previ0us w0und is t00 deep f0r me t0 rec0very within a sh0rt peri0d 0f time .
0kays, d0n't talk ab0ut unhappiness anym0re, it will bring me d0wn m0re .

0h n0, I missed the IT fair this year !
S0 many things I wanted t0 get ! Hahas .

Can't wait f0r the 0ne next year !

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Life . . .

2009-11-26T21:38:00.004+08:00

Upl0ading ph0t0s, like finally, the latest me at h0me . (:

Enj0y, d0n't dr00l, l0ls . Kidding .

W0rk is alright .
Life is ?
Still g0ing 0n . Alth0ught life sucks .

It's the heart that matters . 0h I kn0w that I'm being rand0m here . Hahas .
But I hate the way I l00k n0w .
N0w I s0meh0w can't mind the way I l00k .
Cause recently I g0t eye infecti0n s0 I was being f0rced t0 wear glasses everyday instead 0f c0ntact lens and eye makeup and lashies . Hmmm, well, I miss them . I l00k ugly in glasses .

Sh0uld I cut bangs ? L0ls can't make up my mind after much c0nsiderati0n .

Be g00d t0 y0urself . Be true t0 y0urself .
If y0u c0uld create a miracle f0r me, what will it be ?

I just can't resist y0u . I can't f0rget y0u .
Y0u kn0w that I was tr0uble, but y0u c0uldn't resist .
I kn0w that y0u were tr0uble but I c0ulsn't resist .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

RAANNDDD0000MMMMM

2009-11-24T23:57:00.008+08:00

Aunt's BIRTHDAY . (:

0h n0 pay will be delayed this m0nth by 0ne 0r tw0 days, can't wait f0r my pay ! S0 br0ke !

Even I've leave with n0thing, I feel that its w0rth it as l0ng as y0u're happy, anything I d0 w0n't matter .

A pure g0ld heart is w0rth a milli0n bucks than a g00d l00k but black heart .

Y0u say y0u d0n't want me, I feel ugly .

I want a c0untd0wn party !
I want a diam0nd ring !

Starhub Max 0nline 35% 0ff, cable TV 5o% 0ff . D0 PM me if y0u're interested .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Simple p0st .

2009-11-19T14:07:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T0 AUNT ! (:

She's my g0dma .

Half 0f my m0ther .

I feel guilty f0r n0t d0ing anything f0r her .

G0nna buy her a birthday cake later .

Help ! I'm br0ke !

R0ck my happiness ; r0ck my w0rld .
Y0u are wh0 y0u hang 0ut with .
Absence makes the heart gr0w f0nder .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Em0ti0nal .

2009-11-15T00:09:00.007+08:00

W0rked m0rning yesterday was supp0se t0 g0 0ut f0r m0vie but kanna put aer0plane by pe0ple . Last minute .
Damn . Wasted . Th0ught will have a chance t0 be happy and enj0y myself .

http://www.mcdwin.com/#

See the prizes 0nline . F0r m0re inf0rmati0n, simply click 0n the link typed 0ut here . (:

http://www.weareone.sg/
Buy the leg0 bricks . And help the less f0rtunate family . =) D0 supp0rt ! Just $2/ brick .

Have n0 time f0r new sh0pping centres like Tampines 1, I0N, 0rchard Central, and the upc0ming 313 S0merset .

* Y0u left with0ut a w0rd that day, I can't accept that y0u left f0r s0me0ne else, still h0lding 0n, waiting f0r y0u, waiting f0r y0u t0 say y0u still l0ve me, but y0u never did . And w0uld did . All I left was a empty, br0ken heart .

I have n0 right t0 st0p y0ur decisi0n at that m0ment, I didn't want t0 leave y0u but either d0 I want t0 see y0u unhappy .

S0 I ch00se t0 let g0 . I h0pe that my decisi0n is right .

Since y0u decided t0 leave, f0rget, let g0 and give up, I guess everything shall c0me t0 an end .

And I have n0 reas0n t0 stay .

When I th0ught I have gained happiness, g0d t00k everything away .

When g0d cl0ses a d00r, he will 0pen an0ther d00r f0r y0u .

I 0nly h0pe f0r happiness t0 be my side .

L0ve is n0thing but hurt . It will bring 0ne d0wn and will make 0ne gr0w str0ng . I d0ubt that I w0uld have the c0urage t0 l0ve again . Feels like getting marry, stable d0wn, having kids and n0t playing anym0re but its hard cause I never met my fate . But f0r me its s0mething I have 0nce in my life chapter .

I still miss y0u . I really d0 . I still care ab0ut y0u . I still l0ve y0u . But y0u were n0 l0nger here . Th0se m0ment is what I treasure till n0w . It is als0 my happiest m0ment in my life this year . Its the luckiest thing that ever happen 0n me . N0b0dy have ever make wanna l0ve and be s0 seri0us and n0b0dy have ever make me this happy . =) He's superb . BEST WISHES .

Measure the l0ve, n0t the distance .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Recent updates .

2009-11-12T21:37:00.008+08:00

I reserved this watch, will get it when I get my pay this c0ming 25th . (:

This is n0t bad t00 . But the w0rd U and K cann0t be seen pr0perly .

This is my l0ve ! I br0ught this ~ ! S0 in l0ve with it ! B0yfriend watch is s0 in n0w ~ !

Yell0w 0r red ?

Red 0r yell0w ?

Sh0uld I get the yell0w 0r the red 0ne ?

I l0ve b0th c0l0urs, yell0w is my fav0urite ~ !

Went f0r tw0 interviews t0day but n0 avail .

I received the c0mm0n reply .

We will called y0u if y0u're sh0rtlisted .

But 0ne 0f the interviewer say s0mething that makes me really upset .

The interviwer said: I'm afraid that I might have t0 declined this j0b applicati0n .
I feel s0 disapp0inted, and l0st that I break d0wn, really break d0wn, d0n't kn0w wh0 t0 tell . And I cried .

0ften, I always h0pe that there is always s0me0ne t0 share my g00d and bad news .

But in my mind, I c0uldn't think 0f any0ne . Except ____ .

We used t0 share everything t0gether . N0w, I c0uld tell n0b0dy .

Anyway, I'm used t0 it . Used t0 l0nely .

Guess what ?

I have already br0ught my FCUK watch h0me ~ !
S0 damn happy . Ha0 kai xin w0r ! ;D

I will be buying my sec0nd FCUK watch s00n ~ !

M0st pr0bably my next upc0ming pay !

Lately, my spending p0wer is back .

I br0ught tw0 perfumes, FCUK and CK . (:

s0 0bsessed with them and FCUK ~ !

Recently I g0t s0 many things t0 buy . Feel like ch0pping 0ff my hands . L0ls .

But I feel very happy as th0ugh I have everything in this w0rld and feel like I am the w0rld happiest pers0n ever . But th0se feeling is 0nly temp0rary, 0nce the feeling is g0ne, I feel unhappy and regretted f0r the items I br0ught .

M00d f0r party . Any0ne keen ?

Christmas party ?!!!

I th0ught 0f taking up c0urses ab0ut Design 0r Fashi0n 0r Make-up .

But have t0 make up seri0us c0nsiderati0n bef0re d0ing it .

These three are my 0nly interest . (:

Will y0u make it a wish c0me true f0r me ?

F0rget the past, let g0 0f unhappiness .

Why d0 I feel s0 uneasy ?

Th0ugh we b0th have m0ved 0n, but Ican't wait t0 think ab0ut him, like take t0day f0r eg, cause I been t0 the places that he w0rk and the places we went t0gether . Th0se mem0ries c0me back .

N0w I have t0 search f0r my happiness and smile back . I am glad that I have get 0ver . Start everything afresh .

Hence, we start 0ur life afresh, d0n't turn 0r l00k back .

I w0uld ch00se l0neliness rather than sadness .

I may l00k like having everything, but I have n0thing .

Appreciate all the little things I have . In life . Alth0ught its n0t a l0t .

Everyday 6 h0urs 0f sleep is killing me !

Restless everyday .

TV drama and newspaper everyday is a MUST ~ !

0bsessed with H0t Sh0t @ Channel U at 11.3o pm but 0nly half an h0ur .

And, and, and, The Unbeatables III !!! =D

I l0ve Li Nan Xing . (: Best Act0r Ever .

And s0me 0ther act0r and act0ress, can't remember what is their name .

I gave up my seat again . =) Feel extremely happy as th0ugh I have d0ne a g00d deed . (:

Human beings are selfish . Just think ab0ut themselves .

Instead 0f giving up their seats t0 pe0ple wh0 needs it m0re, they pretend t0 sleep 0r read .

But I d0n't need unwanted attenti0n after giving up the seat, pe0ple keep staring at me .

When I've d0ne s0mething, 0r s0mething g00d, I d0n't expect pe0ple t0 kn0w .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

C0l0urful life ?

2009-11-05T17:01:00.004+08:00

Wo bu kuai le .
I g0t int0 a arugement with a stupid b*tch MINA .
Damn her, she sc0lded and push me first !
I was like WTF, s0 I sc0ld and push her back .
An eye f0r an eye .
~!@)(*&#$%^ All the vularities just came 0ut fr0m 0ur m0uths and the security tried t0 st0p us . They were being KP0 at the m0ment, I just d0n't care wh0 the pers0n, h0w 0ther pe0ple l00k at me, I'm very angry with her, but luckily the security were there t00, if n0t things were n0t be what I expected, maybe things may turn 0ut even uglier .
Finally I kn0w there's is pe0ple wh0 cares f0r me . S0 happy, the staff fr0m Pr0fess0r _______ I can't just wh0 they are 0r where they w0rk . (: They knew that I am being bullied s0 they were quite w0rry ab0ut me and they say I sh0uld tell them s0 that they can bring f0rk and sp00n t0 g0 scare her ! L0ls .They're s0 cute lahs .

Bl00d d0nati0n, any0ne ?
Bef0re I g0 f0r bl00d d0nati0n, I must get my full b0dy check up first .
T0 make sure that I g0t healthy bl00d . (:

http://www.sixlives.sg/
G00d English Pr0gramme .

http://www.formula1.com/video/
http://www.singaporegp.sg/
C00l and h0t .
I feel s0 retarded !

I'm g0ing sh0pping with 0ne 0f my c0lleague t0m0rr0w !
But she say there will be an0ther c0lleague g0ing with us since she is engaging s00n . T0 get her heels and make up .
I h0pe that I c0uld be a tai tai . L0ls .

Simple happiness .
Even if it just last f0r 5 mins I'm happy and c0ntented .
I want y0ur w0rth 5 milli0n bucks smile .
Give me 5 mins 0f laughter and 10 mins 0f happiness .

I remember that when I was y0ung, Mummy 0r Aunt like telling me drinking l0t 0f water will give y0u g00d c0mplexti0n, wh0 says s0 ?
Its n0t 100% true !
Excessive 0f water can kill y0u ! Due t0 water p0si0n0us .
80% 0f 0ur b0dy c0ntains water, that why we need water everyday but n0t every0ne's b0dy can take 1.5 litres 0f water everyday, take f0r eg, human with unc0mf0rtable gastric, pregnant w0men, diabetes patients, high bl00d pressure patients . They can't take t00 much water .

Bf, g0 0ne c0rner and em0 lahz .
Idi0t .
Naughty G .
W0rk hard . Play hard .
Energy, stamina and perf0rmance .
H0t h0t b0dy . =)

C0l0ur crash is very in n0w .
Dare t0 wear cl0thes l0ud and eye catching . Be b0ld .
G0ld access0ries is m0re trendy .

Just blink my eyes and happiness is g0ne .
All back t0 zer0 .
G0nna spend this year's Christmas and next year's Valentine al0ne, I guess .

G0nna reflect 0n what I've d0ne this year . And I'll type it here next time I bl0gged .
Y0ur hands in mine seems like a nice sh0w . ;D

Chicken wings ~ ! Yeahs .
Mummy is c00king chicken wings f0r me .
Been eating unhealthy .
Eat mac f0r tw0 days straight .
Will eat t0m0rr0w again . Casue I want t0 c0llect the stickers game !
If I g0nna win $50, 000 cash, I'll d0nate $10, 000 t0 certain charity ! =)

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

All .

2009-11-01T00:07:00.009+08:00

I supp0se t0 bl0g yesterday 0n Hall0ween but didn't manage t0 be able t0 use the c0m 0n time . L0ls .
I think I'm being rand0m here .
Cause I d0n't wish t0 have any p0st f0r N0vember .
Actually n0t much t0 bl0g . I kn0w that my bl0g is n0t as attactive as 0thers, I d0 n0t need unwanted attenti0n, I'm n0t a attenti0n seeker, f0r y0ur inf0rmati0n ! ;D
Just wanna say: HAPPY HALL0WEEN ! (:
Anyway, its happy belated hall0ween ALREADY !

T00k the wr0ng bus again, this is the sec0nd time this m0nth .
Think I'm t00 tired 0r my lens is expired, I always wear expired lens 0r wear them f0r m0nths .
Waste m0ney 0n transp0rt recently all thanks t0 the interviews and my super blur directi0n, my weakness is directi0n, d0n't ask me that ! (:
Alth0ugh I've experience in Retail, but it's still hard f0r me t0 get a j0b ! Sighs, started t0 feel stress, I sh0uld get a pub j0b perhaps ?

Give l0ve a chance .
Give future a h0pe .

If y0u d0 care, why leave ?
If y0u kn0w, why pretend ?
Heart br0ken, m00dless, em0 .
Mixed feelings .
L, I d0ubt that I'll never get t0 see y0u again .
Very much f0r l0ve at first 0r sec0nd sight, I wanted t0 tell y0u h0w I'm feeling t0wards y0u but fear 0f rejecti0n cause I kn0w where d0 I stand in y0ur heart and I d0n't have faith in l0ve anym0re . As much as I feel like being in l0ve again, I'm like 0ther girls, I'm wanted a bf t00, wh0 d0esn't want t0 be pampered and d0te 0n ? But I guess I'm always n0t the lucky 0ne . Y0u're the pers0n I wanted . Y0u're my type, my everything . I can't be in l0ve . That is my fact . I w0n't have any happy ending .
The truth lies . The truth hurts . That is the fact .
N0 m0re l0ve . F0rget ~ !
I can't blame any0ne f0r the state I'm in right n0w .
W0 bu kuai le . I've f0rg0tten ab0ut the miserable past . I've f0rg0tten that s0me0ne wh0 just br0ke my heart 0ne m0nth ag0 .
I'm enduring all the pain, tell me h0w t0 release it 0ut ?

D0wn with flu .
Needs t0 rest already .

Z0uk0ut, any0ne ?
Jennifer's b0dy, any0ne ?

Diet, diet, diet .
I'm skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner . Hahaz !

I find that I'm n0t a very feminine girl . Alth0ugh I l0ve dressing up and make up, but I w0n't waste m0ney 0n branded g00ds 0r beauty pr0ducts and d0 manicure and pedicures, in fact I've never d0ne it in my life bef0re . L0ls . Seri0us, n0 j0ke . Hence, I hate myself f0r being s0 weak in R/S . F0r the cry baby girly tears . I HATE CRYING ! Superb em0ti0nal . I want t0 be the str0ng girl ! Y0u will see me start crying 0ver sad l0ve st0ry, damn I super em0ti0n sia . Hate myself f0r falling in l0ve . I hate tears in my eyes .
Given up 0n my future, given up 0n life, given up 0n l0ve, given up 0n trusting and believing, given up 0n everything .
Each day I live I'm waiting f0r a miracle that d0esn't exist .
Each day I live I'm l0sing h0pe and giving up .
W0nder h0w l0ng I still can take it .
N0w I d0n't have much expecti0n in life, I just want a peaceful and perhaps a happier life .
And what 0ther girls expected 0r want, I d0 n0t want any .
I think I'm the unique 0ne . I'm n0t the friendly girl next d00r . N0t perfect . And etc .
It takes time t0 really get t0 kn0w me . I can be nice . I can be happy t00 . I'm very r0ugh .
N0 matter what I d0 and say, I've never ever regret in my life .
Perhaps at times I will get th0se feelings .
Its my pr0blem I guess in this state . N0t any0ne's fault, I'm partly t0 blame t00 .

I feel l0st and all al0ne . Will any0ne be there ?
I'm always al0ne, I'm used t0 it .
Being l0nely isn't scary, what fears y0u m0st is n0b0dy is there when y0u need help .
I guess I've already given up 0n life and a l0t 0f things which I used t0 pin f0r .
I kn0w I'm very negative, but I can't help but have this feeling cause my life is really sucky, everything will g0 wr0ng, definite, I w0nder if I'm a JINX, unhappiness is always by my side .
Why can't g0d let me stay happy f0r 0nce ?
If y0u understand h0w I feel after s0 much happen, y0u'll kn0w h0w much I been thru and the pain inside .
I hate the fact that I'm n0t being happy at all yet I've t0 pretend t0 be happy .

Th0ught 0f cutting my hair, reb0nd and dye my hair .
Sh0uld I cl0se all my ear-h0les ? I've 16 0f them . L0ls . A l0t sia .
Fcuk th0se pimples 0n my f0rehead . Arghhhhhhhhh .
0h g0d, I'm hungry at this h0ur, guess I'm sleeping after typing this p0st .
Feel like killing myself, I'm d0ing st0cktake later, have t0 wake up superb early but I'm still using the c0m, h0w stubb0rn ~ !

N0te: This is n0t a EM0 p0st . (: My mind is very clear ab0ut what I type here .
PS. I'm getting that French C0nnecti0n watch s00n ~ ! (; Wait f0r me, 0kays ? I'll bring y0u h0me . =D

L0ls, I ended up typing a l0t . :))
0kays, I shall end here .
Till we meet again .
Update my tagb0ard with c0mments ! (: W0n't entertained t0 n0nsense ! L0ves l0ves <3>

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

(:

2009-10-29T00:11:00.005+08:00

Feel like crying that time, I f0rg0tten t0 p0st ab0ut all this .
Cause I t00k the wr0ng bus h0me and went h0me really late .
Was really em0 that day, h0ping y0u were there with me, was wearing my killer heels that day, s0 I was walking really sl0w !
I w0re my tw0 inch high heels f0r tw0 days straight, 0ut 0f sudden, I feel I've gr0w taller but my legs hurts !
The feeling is w0nderful but I get unwanted attenti0n . Hahas ~ !
M0re vintage bags, killers heels and dresses, pls ! (:

An0ther time is I supp0se t0 meet 0ut 0ne 0f my c0lleague 0ut f0r a m0vie, t0tally sp0ilt m00d sia . Th0ught she is eight-teen but she's just 17 ! Wanted t0 watch Hall0ween II but is M18 . Sians . She keep talking 0n the ph0ne and she is talking l0udly 0n the ph0ne and I feel like I've asked the wr0ng pers0n 0ut .
Depsite wearing a tw0 inch high heels, I still make a eff0rt t0 meet her and she keep c0mplaining and I never c0mplaint anything . Damn disapp0inting . M00d was ruin that day, needless t0 say .

Scared t0 hell, was h0lding the sh0p's key .
S0 there was certasin days where I've t0 0pen the sh0p early 0r al0ne .
I always g0t this scare feeling after hearing s0me eerie st0ries fr0m my previ0us in charge .
Especially few days back . Th0se feelings can't be explained .

Learning t0 f0rgive and f0rget, th0se unhapiness m0ments .
I've f0rg0tten the l0ve we 0nce have .
N0 l0nger that em0 . (:
I just want my happiness . And being happy ! I h0pe I can d0 it !
JIA Y0U, CHARLEEN ! =)

I might went MIA f0r awhile s0 I'm n0t g0ing 0nline as 0ften . 0r n0t at all .
M0ney and careers c0mes first, I'm earning my vacati0n m0ney f0r next year Taiwan's trip . (: L00king f0rward t0 it s0 much ~!

S0 n0t l00king f0rward t0 Hall0ween, can't f0rget last year's Hall0ween, that is pe0ple tried t0 scare me and they sh0cked the hell 0ut 0f me . I even sc0lded the pers0n . Scared me fr0m behind, I was like What the fish___ .

0h yeah, I'm turning int0 a adult w0rld next year . And I've received a letter fr0m Ministry 0f Health . Inf0rming me ab0ut the Human 0ran Transplant Act (H0TA) . H0TA all0ws f0r the kidneys, liver, heart and c0rneas t0 be d0nated 0ut after death . If I d0 n0t wish t0 have y0ur 0rgans rem0ved after death, I can register my 0bjecti0n with the Ministry 0f Health . Regarding this, I might d0nate my "useful" 0rgans after death . (:
I h0pe I can save lives t00 !
My way f0r c0ntributing t0 the patients wh0 needed it .

PS. I can't decide t0 get DKNY, CK 0r FCUK watches, I l0ve all ! But I just need 0ne f0r all 0utfits, perhaps I'll get the FCUK which I set my eyes 0n . =)

Y0u sure g0nna miss me after this p0st, I might n0t be 0nline f0r a l0ng time .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Happiness .

2009-10-28T12:38:00.010+08:00

Baby, I miss y0u, why d0 y0u want t0 leave ?

L says I'm wild and l00ks like a little girl, didn't expect the w0rds came 0ut fr0m y0u . I feel hurt when I heard that, I think I've fallen f0r y0u .

K is a liar ! G0t Gf, say n0 GF, idi0t lahs, but luckily we're just friends, n0thing m0re, I didn't expect things turn 0ut t0 be like this, I really detest liar ! Make me think 0f my ex wh0 lie t0 me t00 !

I w0n't be able t0 see y0u again .
I w0n't be able t0 see y0ur n0 flashing 0n my ph0ne ever again .
I w0n't be able t0 receive y0ur messages ever again .

ENVY with GREEN . Guys/men wh0 buy present f0r their wife/gf really turn me 0n, makes me think that they're the m0st sweet and best guy in the w0rld !

0bsessed with GREEN apples and YELL0W bananas . Watching my diet cl0sely, l00king f0r 0nly health ch0ice l0g0 f00d . =)

H0ld me in y0ur arms when I cry .
If l0ve is like a expl0si0n, y0u'll never kn0w when it's g0ing t0 expl0de .

I can't deny that my heart feels very c0ld, I d0 get this c0ld-ish feeling whenever I think 0f y0u . It's a sad feeling . Damn th0se sweet mem0ries .
Y0u were 0nce in my life chapter, its en0ugh .

Falling in l0ve is like eating mushr00ms ; y0u're never sure it's the real thing until it's t00 late .
-Alfred E. Newman

0ur heart can never f0rget s0me0ne s0 easily .

Taurus

P0sitive Qualities : Mature, Reliable, Calm, Loyal, Friendly, Patient, C0nfident, Affecti0nate, Pratical, Loving, Secure, Kind, Determined, Artistic, Self-Reliant .

Negative Qualities : Self-indulgent, Acrim0ni0us, P0ssessive, Greedy, Envi0us, Ind0lent, Materialistic, 0bstinate .

0nce up0n a time, there's a princess named BERNARDETTE . Lets call her B . She is happily in l0ve and is very happy . She and her pirnce stay happily in l0ve . Until 0ne day, s0mething happened .

She met a accident and g0t killed . Bef0re she dies, she predicted that she will leave the w0rld bef0re her prince s0 she decided t0 write a letter t0 him bef0re she dies .

The letter wr0te:

I h0pe I can be with y0u f0rever and f0rever till ever . But my lifespan is sh0rt, I can't spend f0rever with y0u . I h0pe y0u can find 0ther pirncess wh0 can spend f0rever with y0u .

I l0ve y0u always .

Bernadette

The ab0ve is a st0ry I think 0f . L0ls .
Bef0re she cl0ses her eyes f0r the last time, she t0ld her prince t0 l00k f0r an0ther princess . He replied her, N0, I'll never l00k f0r an0ther princess, y0u're the 0nly 0ne I l0ve and my l0ve f0r y0u will never changed . After hearing that, tears r0ll d0wn her cheeks and she cl0se her eyes and died . She died peacefully after hearing that .

The prince l0ve his princess a l0t that he d0 n0t bear t0 bury her b0dy .
S0 he keep the c0rpse with him f0r years . Until 0ne day s0me0ne disc0ver it in the c0ttage, and every0ne t0ld him t0 give the princess a pr0per bury .
The stench 0f the c0rpse is s0 str0ng that every0ne in the c0ttage left .
Every0ne w0ndered why he d0 n0t want t0 bury her b0dy and he replied I l0ve n0b0dy but 0nly her in my life . She will always be mine . Their l0ve st0ry really t0uched every0ne . 0ne day, s0me0ne went t0 visit him and f0und him lying 0n the fl00r with n0 breath . He is dead . S0 pe0ple bury him and the princess' c0rpse t0gether s0 that they can be t0gether f0rever, till ever .

This is a sad l0ve st0ry, indeed .

Was supp0se t0 g0 f0r interview . But was t00 tired and lazy t0 g0 .
Create a miracle in my life .
Chase em0, unhappines and tears away . I just want happiness in my life . I h0pe I can find a new j0b, asap ! =D

Love , family .

Love , friends .

Love , ______ . Nobody . L_____E

Love , red .

Love , yellow .

Love , gold .

Love , silver .

Love , blue .

Love , green .

Love , purple .

Love , rainbow .

Love , vintage .

Love , rock .

Love , black .

Love , white .

Love , cutie boys .

Love , ink-ed .

Love , piercings .

Love , cartoons .

Love , movies .

Love , junk food .

Love , fast food .

Love , myself .

Love , gadgets .

Love , shopping .

Love , smoking .

Love, clubbing .

Love , pain-ted nails .

Love , colours .

Love , labels .

Love , tank top .

Love , leggings .

Love , cap .

Love , eye lash .

Love , emo-ing .

Love , trends .

Love , pop corn .

Love , ice cream .

Love , potato wedges .

Love , fries .

Love , chicken wings .

Love , MSN .

Love , text message .

Sad, em0 s0ngs really suits my current m00d . Feeling a bit em0 right n0w . Hahaz !
I w0n't be able t0 meet y0u ever again .
I w0n't be able t0 see y0ur smile .
Life is sh0rt, treasure it while y0u can, l0ve the pe0ple ar0und y0u, y0u'll never kn0w what will happen the next minute . D0 whatever y0u're happy but n0t crime ! D0n't dwell t00 much and live life t0 the fullest ! Stay happy is the key ! ((=

I want a s0ul mate ~ !

I want l0ng lasting happiness ~ !

I want a new j0b ~ !

I want a new ph0ne ~ !

I want a new me ~ !

I want a cheerful me ~ !

I want a BF ~ ! (: L0ls .

S0 sad lahs, L is my type but he say I'm wild and l00k like little girl . Sians .
B0y, my l0ve will get y0u h0me . L0st and all al0ne .

I'm g0ing f0r interview t0mrr0w, I'm nerv0us !

G0 fly kite .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Sh0pping (:

2009-10-22T22:48:00.005+08:00

Yesterday I went sh0pping again !
Like finally ! (:
But I feel like killing myself f0r buying things .
Well, girls just L0VE sh0pping, isn't it ?
I br0ught tw0 pairs 0f heels, its tw0 inch and tw0 and a half inch high .
L0ve Sister t0 bits lahs, she helped me t0 c0llect my ph0ne after sch00l fr0m clementi t0 Viv0 City, imagine the distance and she didn't eat a thing .
I went 0ver t0 Viv0 City last week t0 get my LG ph0ne check and send my ph0ne battery f0r exchange, they even t00k my ph0ne f0r a checkup t00 .
Afterwhich, met her at Bugis, sh0pped there f0r awhile and we t00k a bus t0 t0wn, its s0 nice t0 find s0me0ne t0 sh0p with !
I always sh0p al0ne ! At certain times, I d0 need 0pini0n f0r the things I eyed 0n .

T0day I g0nna type 0ut several things that I been hiding inside f0r quite s0me time 0r perhaps the things I d0n't wish t0 share initially . And after this, I d0ubt I am thinking ab0ut it and talking ab0ut it . After this, I g0nna start a brand NEW life . N0t g0nna talk ab0ut him, the past, the unhappiness and l0ve .
Initially, I d0n't wish t0 talk ab0ut all this . I supp0se t0 f0rget, in fact I've get 0ver but he c0ntacted me again . Makes my mind whirl .
I d0n't kn0w if will he still view my bl0g .
But I've reply his text: "Can y0u leave my w0rld al0ne ? My w0rld d0esn't c0nsists 0f y0u anym0re ." I feel happy, and 0n the 0ther hand I feel sad, cause I d0ubt we will talk again . S0meh0w, I feel like crying after replying his text, when I faced him, I'm weak, s0ft and em0ti0nal unstable . That why I hate myself f0r falling f0r him in the first place .
In fact, he's the 0ne wh0 wanna leave me, why d0es he still care then ?
I hate it when he is still acting c0wardly till this p0int, even he text and call me, even if y0u did, just admit, n0 need t0 hide . I d0n't hide when things happen, where were y0u when things happen ?
My life and death d0esn't c0ncerns him anym0re, the day he decided t0 leave, y0u already clear with what y0u want, and I did ask him t0 stay t0 n0 avail . I decide t0 let g0 afterwhich .
When I decided t0 let g0 and f0rget, he c0ntacts me again . Since this is the ending y0u wished f0r, d0n't c0ntact me f0r g00d . Treat it as a fav0ur, f0r the very last time . Let everything c0me t0 an end, 0kays ?
I d0n't want t0 feel hurt .
I d0n't want t0 feel sad .
I d0n't want t0 cry anym0re .
My heart bleeds even he c0ntact me .
JUST BE FAITHFUL .
F0RGET ME, THE PAST .
LIFE STILL G0ES 0N .
Y0U'VE A NEW LIFE, Y0U SH0ULD CHERISH AND N0T TREAT HER LIKE THE WAY Y0U TREAT ME !!! =)

0r d0 y0u wanna see s0mething like this ?
*I miss hearing y0ur v0ice .
*I miss y0u being mine .
*I miss seeing y0ur laughter .
*I miss hearing y0u call me silly and NAMES .
*I miss calling y0u din0saur .
*I miss y0ur warm hug .
*I miss y0ur h0t b0ds .
*I miss y0ur th0se sweet kisses .
*I miss th0se m0ments with y0u .
*I miss th0se late night m0vies .
*I miss eating supperwith y0u .
*I miss h0lding y0ur arms .
*I miss y0u calling me baby .
*I miss y0u f0r missing me .
*I miss calling y0u sweetheart .
*I miss saying i l0ve y0u t0 y0u .
*I miss everything ab0ut y0u .

Everything y0u see here shall bec0me a hist0ry . We b0th need a new life . D0n't turn and l00k back, 0kays ? I d0n't want t0 cry anym0re . And I kn0w y0u n0 l0nger c0ming back .
Y0u kn0w I feel s0 l0usy when y0u stray . It makes me a bad gf, a really bad, I admit I am, y0u ____ the wr0ng pers0n . Perhaps I never d0 a l0t f0r y0u and n0t en0ugh f0r y0u . I th0ught we c0uld have a future t0gether, and I tried very hard being a g00d gf, but in y0ur heart, I'm always n0t g00d en0ugh c0mpare t0 all y0ur ex gfs . Y0u always wanted me being s0me0ne which is n0t me, with0ut sparing a th0ught f0r me .
Its s0 hard t0 l0ve and keep y0ur heart with me when I'm scare that y0u'll leave me eventually . (C0ngras, y0u've w0n and have already left me .)
At that very m0ment when he decided t0 leave me, I really hate him . I have d0ne n0thing wr0ng, I didn't flirt, I was faithful all al0ng, and is trying my best t0 be a perfect gf s0 why he still ch00se t0 give up 0n me ?
In y0ur heart n0 matter h0w hard I'm trying, y0u can't see, y0u'll still think I never put in en0ugh .
It been tw0 m0nths since we br0ke up and last met up . I guess he've already f0rg0tten ab0ut me .
He've ch0sen his path, and its time f0r me t0 make mine .
I always been wanting t0 ask him .
-D0 y0u feel sad f0r leaving me ?
-Have y0u ever l0ve me bef0re even its just a bit 0r perhaps just a crush ?
-Will y0u th0ught 0f me when we're t0gether ?
0h, 0ut 0f sudden, I feel em0 ... again .
I really can't take the bl0w .
T0 him, I'm such a disgust, that he've never tell any0ne ab0ut us when we're t0gether .
Even if I g0 his h0use, his parents is always n0t at h0me, his faceb00k and MSN d0es n0t have any signs 0f him being attached at all . Perhaps, he is just being l0w pr0file, but f0r me, it matters a l0t, if y0u truely l0ve me, why are y0u s0 afraid 0f sh0wing it ?
We met fate but are n0t meant t0 be t0gether .
I already predicted this day will c0me but just didn't expect it t0 happen s0 sudden and s0 fast .
But why am I still crying and thinking ab0ut him after he treated me in such a nasty way ?
F0r 0nce, I was his new t0y, when he f0und an0ther new t0y, he aband0n and thr0w me int0 the trash with0ut t00king a sec0nd glance . New 0nes can always replace the 0ld 0ne, isn't it ?
Anway, thinking 0f y0u just makes my heart m0re miserable and upset . N0 use wasting my tears f0r a guy like y0u !
I'll pr0ve t0 y0u I'll live happily with0ut y0u !
Here is a s0ng heartless by kanya west use t0 describle a heartless girl .
I'm using it 0n y0u .
"He l0st his s0ul t0 a w0man s0 heartless"
"H0w c0uld y0u be s0 heartless"
"And we just gon be enemies"
In this w0rld, n0thing is fair .
I 0ften w0ndered, why d0 g0d always take the g00d things I've in my life after giving me ?
If he kn0ws, will he still l0ve me ?
I guess I've n0 answer .
What I d0 kn0w is that he will read every p0st I type here .
T0 sh0w him h0w much he means t0 me .
S0 that he can c0ntinue t0 sense my feelings f0r him .
Even after I have left this w0rld .
L0ve kn0ck y0u d0wn . L0ve f00l . Attractive guys and girls are likely t0 cheat . Its true !
L0ve is n0thing but hurt .
It takes tw0 hands t0 clap f0r a relati0nship t0 w0rk .
When g0d cl0se 0ne d00r, he will 0pen an0ther 0ne f0r y0u .

Em0ti0nal breakd0wn .
I need s0me0ne t0 talk t0 .
I need a sh0ulder t0 lie 0n .
Stress ab0ut w0rk and m0ney .
I just started learning t0 d0 settlement, there're al0t 0f things I'm still learning .
My brain can't abs0rb everything and I'm a sl0w learner !
Nic0tine seems t0 be my 0nly best friend when I'm d0wn .

En0ugh 0f the sad, em0 p0st .

Share with y0u guys s0mething ...
The cute malay guy asked me t0 j0in him f0r sm0king again and he asked me f0r my n0 . (:
And I gave him .
I find him really cute and nice lahs .
Let call him K 0r Mr K .
I think I prefer t0 call him K . (:
I cut my finger and I didn't realize it till I reach h0me .
Never pay much attenti0n t0 it s0 n0t sure when did I injure myself .
Interesting ph0ne calls, called at the wr0ng timing .
Received tw0 ph0ne calls, 0ne was when I'm ab0ut t0 sh0wer and the 0ther 0ne is right after I finish sh0wer .
I was like WTF sia . L0ls .
0ne keep crying and the 0ther 0ne keep laughing like sia0 0ne when she say she is upset .
T0tally d0ts l0rs .

Bel0w is the link sang by chipmunks ! They're s0 ad0rable but freaky and ann0ying t00 ! (:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hda7XmpJNKI Beautiful girls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03NBFyZnfrA Please D0n't St0p The Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8Ild4MigR8 Smack That
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOY945pz3HQ L0w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQUOQYEhesI Way I Are Remix
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFRX4vEx5lc Just Dance Remix
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAp8cmi1tus I Hate This Part **I l0ve this ~ !
Damn cute !!! =) Make my m00d happy sia ! ((:
I like cute little b0ys and girls ! x3

Shall edit again . Lazy t0 bl0g n0w . Been quite busy and stress-ed up with w0rk .
Time f0r my beauty sleep .
W0rking m0rning shift .
Quitting my j0b s00n . N0t s0 sure when, but hear I'm already being c0nfirmed .
Hunting f0r pub j0bs . (:
K, h0pe t0 see y0u later, wanna talk t0 y0u !
Y0u make me wanna smile again .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

):

2009-10-20T00:18:00.003+08:00

Life with0ut g0als means n0thing .
I think I better g0 0ne c0rner and em0 .
Wa, recently damn em0 . 0ut 0f sudden 0ne .

Might resign s00n, l00king f0r pub j0b at the m0ment . (:
Any l0bangs, let me kn0w .
W0rk until very stress .
This cann0t, that cann0t, th0ught can earn a l0t this m0nth but they restrict all the full shifts t0 0nly 2o h0urs . N0t en0ugh l0rs, I'm n0t earning a l0t already n0w they're d0ing this . M0re w0rst, I earn what ? Peanuts ? Sighs ): Been stressing ab0ut w0rk and m0ney .
I hate this kind 0f life . ): I hate the life I'm leading right n0w, I hate stressing ab0ut w0rk and m0ney .

Pe0ple wh0 really l0ve y0u will never make y0u sad . Pe0ple wh0 make y0u sad are n0t w0rth y0ur tears .

PS. I think my bl0g is messy and unattactive . What d0 y0u think ? Pard0n me f0r my bad English . ):

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Happy f0r 0nce . (:

2009-10-18T00:45:00.012+08:00

Me, at least f0r n0w . =) Cam-wh0ring during and after w0rk ! *((:

Me, 0verdue ph0t0s, taken recently, like 0ne 0r tw0 weeks ag0 ?

Sh0e brusher !

Super, super str0ng glue !

Sh0e cleaner ! Stain rem0ver ! Its a cream, it w0rks ! Whatever y0u-name-it .

A cl0seup . (:

D0n't kn0w what it that . But that can make leather sh0es shine and l00ks new !

Guess what is this ? L0ls . Its a glue eraser !

It can clean 0ff any min0r stains ! P0wer sia ~ !

A sneak peek 0f my st0rer00m . (:

Yesterday was a PH = public h0liday . Deepavali . C0rrect me if I spell it wr0ngly, lazy t0 check the dicti0nary . =p

T0 me, whether is it a public h0lidays 0r a weekend, my life is still the same . N0 BIG changes .

I think my dressing was quite b0ld and wild .

I w0re a t-shirt, 0ffice like skirt, and fish-net st0cking and with grey canvas sh0es .

Yes, I wear a skirt ! Y0u're n0t hearing things . L0ls .

Sales wasn't that bad . But lady luck wasn't by my side .

Greet cust0mers, but they ign0red me ! S0 sad ! ): And angry lahs .

Have y0u been l0st 0n what t0 type when y0u l0g 0n t0 bl0gger when y0u've already decided what t0 bl0g in mind ?

I guess pe0ple wh0 bl0g have the similar pr0blem .

F0r me, I will either write it in a piece 0f paper 0r type everything in my I t0uch 0r m0bile . (:

T0 prevent being mind black0ut after l0gging in t0 bl0gger .

M00d was happy, hardly hear me saying that I'm happy n0w .
Then I bec0me em0 again . Damn ! 0ut 0f sudden, my m00d is very rand0m 0ne .

But average, m00d is g00d .

Cause sales is g00d and g0t 0ne guy treat me cigarette, he's fun and cute lahz ! S0 kind !

Super small sized malay b0y . He d0n't like Twenty-tw0 l0rs . Pe0ple play h0ckey 0ne, I h0pe he can represent Singap0re and win ! L0ls . He f0und my smile, I l0st tw0 years back .

Very funny, he ji0-ed me g0 sm0ke, then we chatted and talk, I d0n't really kn0w him that well, but he keep making me smile . G00d g00d . =D

A plus p0int . L0ls .

0ne 0f my c0lleague says he will be my next bf . L0ls, I hardly kn0w him . But can c0nsider . Maybe n0t this m0ment . Heart still hurts . ):

Can't get 0ver the previ0us heartbreakm, all thanks t0 ____ .

At least t0day I'm happy f0r 0nce, I h0pe I can be happy f0r the rest 0f my life .

Tw0 years ag0, I am happy, I've everything .

Tw0 years fr0m n0w, I am sad, I've n0thing .

Tw0 years later, will I be happy 0r sad ? Have everything 0r n0thing ?

0kays, g0t t0 g0 .

Break rec0rd, n0w is 5.o4 am and I haven sleep, thanks t0 stupid laggy c0mputer ! (:

Very tired, beauty sleep is needed . W0rking later . Miss me 0kays ? Rmemeber t0 tag me ! Deleted all the 0lder tags, a brand new start ! =) L0ves l0ves . If y0u did, n0tice, I changed my bl0g pr0file and 0ther stuffs . ((; Keep th0se hateful c0mments t0 y0urself ! D0n't jeal0us ! L0ls .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Rand0m

2009-10-14T21:27:00.008+08:00

Sp0ngeb0b in Middle Finger . =)

CJ 7 . 7 Zai . (:

Elm0 & C00kie M0nster . ;D BEST FRIEND EVER !

This Sp0ngeb0b may l00ks very c0mm0n . But is fr0m HK .

0ne and 0nly in S'p0re . In my h0use . L0ls .

He is my new l0ve . ((;

W0nder which idi0t in my h0use twist my bel0ved's hands and legs .

This yell0w m0nster sleeps with me every night . Hug him t0 sleep everyday .

A smiley face made with cereals and banana skin . (: Creative huhs ?

Went t0 three places al0ne t0day .
First, I went t0 Viv0 City t0 get my ph0ne battery checked, its seems faulty .
Sh0p and t0ured ar0und there .
Then I went t0 Bugis .
Br0ught 0ne pair 0f sandals, tw0 bags .
And tw0 t0p f0r Mummy . Mummy keep c0mplaining why I always buy cl0thes f0r her, I replied: "I feel like buying jiu buy l0rs, anyway y0u d0n't bear t0 buy cl0thes des and very hard t0 buy, I happen t0 see, its nice, s0 buy f0r y0u l0rz ."
Mummy always think when I treat her nice, I g0t a m0tive .
Sians 1/2 . She's my Mummy, 0f c0urse I buy things f0r her, its n0rmal, isn't it ? M0ney spend 0n family and f00d is the m0st well spent m0ney . (=
And lastly, I went t0 0rchard, Far East .
Find the tw0 JIE JIES 0pp0site the sh0p I'm w0rking at, its been a very l0ng time since I g0 there . S0 many changes .
Saw three 0f my ex c0lleague w0rking in F21 . (: Ira, Li Ping and J0anna . Whenever I g0 t0wn, I'll saw pe0ple wh0m I kn0w .
I want t0 buy m0re heels and dresses !
I want t0 get m0re bags t00 !

I like t0 see little b0ys and little girls (y0unger than me a few years 0ld) dressing up . S0me have really g00d fashi0n sense .
G00d fashi0n sense pe0ple turns me 0n, and I l0ve hanging ar0und with them .
I was wearing a super sh0rt sh0rts, tankt0p, vintage black bag and a scarf ar0und my neck, every0ne keep staring at me, they w0nder why I wear a scarf when the weather is h0t, when I haven step 0ut 0f my h0use, the weather l00ks like its g0ing t0 rain .

H0lding a few carrier with me, it was heavy .
And I never g0tten a seat in the bus after leaving Far East t0 g0 h0me .
And halfway the trip, my left eye c0ntact lens came 0ff . S0 damn pai seh, cans ? Half blind . L0l0ls .
S0 I keep it inside my bag, think its t00 dye . The guy standing beside me n0tice that, I guess .
Pard0n me f0r the messy and 0verdue ph0t0s in the previ0us p0sts . =x
Time and busy schedule is the fault, l0ls .

Everything start fr0m zer0 .
I want t0 start my life all 0ver again .
I need a new life .
G00dbye, past .
Will never turn back ever again .
I l0athes army b0ys . Makes me think 0f Mr N . And they're n0t seri0us in R/S .

Hist0ry w0n't repeat anym0re .

***Whenever I see y0u, I th0ught I saw h0pe . But everything is just a hist0ry . If I c0uld decide the future, I want t0 be in y0ur chapter in life .

I am in l0ve ... again .
This time with MR S . =)
Sp0ngeb0b !!!
L0L0LS !!! =d

Pard0n f0r the rand0m ph0t0s . My current m00d . Em0 .

S0 pard0n me als0 f0r the very em0 p0st . (:

I d0n't find anything wr0ng with em0 .

This is my life, em0 life, respect me .

Lazy and tired t0 bl0g . Stupid c0m is laggy t00 . Sighs, sians .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Fashi0n .

2009-10-13T13:52:00.008+08:00

Alexander McQueen's c0llecti0n

Sick and hungry .

0nly can let my st0mach empty . I g0t n0 appetite at all . I eat really small serving .

I guess I'm g0ing 0ut t0m0rr0w, I rest f0r tw0 days at h0me and I'm b0red t0 tears !

My blue black is rec0vering ! Pard0n me f0r my p00r English . I d0 n0t have a high educati0n level .

I guess I'm rec0vering s00n . But st0mach keep feeling unwell . Very bl0ated th0ugh I eat very little .

http://socialthing.com/

14 different sites . That includes faceb00k, twitter and flickr pages . (:

S0 0bsessed with i p0d nan0, the c0l0urs is s0 nice !

S0 wanted t0 have it !

Life is sh0rt, treasure it while y0u can, l0ve the pe0ple ar0und y0u, y0u'll never kn0w what will happen the next minute .

Fated t0 be single . (: Hate l0ve . This time I'll be str0ng .

Sunset, sunrise .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUktMsD8WpI

I l0ve this advertisement ! This is the 0ne 0n h0w it was d0ne .

Cadbury's Eyebr0w advertisement !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFkj8Gj26WI

(0fficial versi0n)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIuNIwuflBk

Latest versi0n 0f advertisement f0r Tiger Beer .
I l0ve beer's advertisement !

S0me are really creative and interesting .

Makes my day !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sjqHu__EJk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1ZZreXEqSY

Heineken advertisement . I l0ve this ! =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYd3JXNJzZE

Liese Hair Dye

After seeing this advertisement, I feel like c0l0uring my hair again ! =)

Just n0w went 0ut with Mummie, but I've a arguement with her and she say why my temper seems t0 be getting fr0m bad t0 w0rst . Very bad temper, easily t0 get angry, she even say where have y0ur smile g0ne t0 ?

I was speechless . See, even Mummy n0tice that . It been a l0ng time since I saw y0u smile, why must y0u always have that grumpy l00k 0n y0ur face ? Sighs ):

I need t0 find the cheerful side 0f me back asap !

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Sick .

2009-10-13T00:56:00.008+08:00

Imgine wake up in the middle 0f the night t0 thr0w up . Feeling very sick . Having slight fever . Gastric flu, v0mitted everything I ate and drink . Mummy even th0ught I'm pregnant ! D0ts ... Feels very weak . Alm0st fainted, black0ut whenever I see things . Luckily I g0 see d0c instead 0f g0ing t0 w0rk . Sister went t0 the d0c with me .
Didn't g0 t0 w0rk . F00d I ate d0es n0t digest, keep thr0wing up instead . T0tally n0 appetite . I c0uld 0nly eat small servings and eat 0nly p0rridge and s0up related f00d . Sad all my fav0urite, unhealthy f00d I can't eat at the m0ment .
Super hungry, d0n't dare t0 eat .
MC f0r tw0 days . 26 bucks . 0n the way back h0me, we saw s0mething really eerie . We saw the swing m0ving by its self, when there's n0b0dy and there's n0 wind .
Just t00k a sh0rt nap in the aftern00n, and I can't sleep n0w . Arghhhh .
Weakness : 0nce sick, need a l0nger time t0 rec0ver . Hates taking medicine . Will thr0w up immediately . This 0ften 0ccurs since y0ung .
I can't aff0rd t0 fall sick, cause I kn0w myself very well, 0nce I'm sick I will take ar0und 0ne m0nth t0 be fully rec0ver . I've been very weak since y0ung, s0 Daddy and Mummy t00k extra care 0f me .
I'm guess I'm falling sick due t0 insufficient rest and sleep, been w0rking full shift, chi0ng all the way lia0s ! I'm d0ing this f0r my future . I d0n't wanna waste my time anym0re .

G00d l00ks will eventually fade . But l00ks are definite imp0rtant t00 ! But we 0ften get attracted by the 0pp0site sex with their g00d l00ks first, isn't it ? Well, at least f0r me .
Was supp0se t0 g0 clubbing last Saturday, Eugene (g0d br0ther) ask me al0ng, but was very last minute . S0 unable t0 make it . And the entry fee is ex, and I've have t0 g0 h0me al0ne, that makes my p0cket a bigger h0le . =x
I think I did menti0n that I might n0t g0ing clubbing anym0re . =)
G0t the urge 0ut 0f sudden . M00d is there . Hard t0 get my interest back .

My current 0bsessed : nice dresses, vintage styles, killer heels, fashi0n sh0w, f00d sh0w, car sh0w, music !
Hunting f0r the best f00d ever !

I g0t plenty 0f s0ft t0ys at h0me . And I l0ve buying s0ft t0ys . Addictive t0 it .
I w0uld even buy Mcd0nalds happy meal f0r the sake 0f the t0y . N0w y0u see h0w crazy I'm 0ver t0ys . Shall upl0ad the ph0t0 0nline 0ne day . I g0t a habit everyday, that is hug my sp0ngeb0b t0 sleep every night with0ut fail . I've never g0t the habit 0f hugging a s0ft t0y t0 sleep . But n0w I must hug it everyday with0ut fail . (:

Everyday I walk pass this sh0p named "Sh0p H0use" . Its a sh0p that sells watch 0f different brand . There is 0ne Hug0 B0ss square faced watch I been eyeing f0r m0nths, intended t0 buy and give him as 0ur 0ne m0nth anniversary present, but n0w everytime I walk pass the st0re, I will imgine h0w nice it will l00k . It fited his wrist s0 much . But recently the watch is n0 l0nger 0n display 0n the wind0ws shelves . 0nly the r0und faced left .
Can't help but think w0nder h0w he is d0ing n0w . After all we have n0t c0ntact and see each 0ther f0r tw0 m0nths, time really flies, we have been separated f0r nearly tw0 m0nths . I guess his life is a l0t happier with0ut me . Time t0 fully erase him 0ff my brain, I've n0 reas0ns t0 think anym0re . What g0ne is g0ne . What l0st is l0st . I hate l0ve . Damn th0se sweet mem0ries .
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
This pr0ves that I've n0 reas0n t0 think back but l00king f0rward . Falling in and 0ut 0f l0ve . I wish that I c0uld tell y0u s0mething t0 take it all away .
There's s0 many things that I want y0u t0 kn0w . I w0n't give up till its 0ver . If its takes you f0rever I want y0u t0 kn0w . Tell me y0u w0n't give up .
That if you fall, stumble down
Ill pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
Ill give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause
Ill be waiting if you fall
Oh you know Ill be there for you
Falling apart .
Where were you, when everything was falling apart.
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
Y0u were like my guardian ; wh0 stands by me when I'm weak .
Y0u were like a tree ; trying t0 pr0tect me fr0m harm .
Y0u were my l0ve ; last g00dbye .

Bangk0k, thailand, hawaii, k0rea, 0saka, las vegas, new y0rk, taiwan, h0ng k0ng and etc ...
Very s00n I g0nna left with n0thing .
Regretted f0r wasting my m0ney 0n unnecessary items .
Regretted with my life .
F0r n0t cherishing the pe0ple I l0ve and care in the past . T00k things f0r granted . I h0pe its n0t t00 late n0w . I wanna spend m0re time with family, I've 0nly g0t 0ne family, I wanna l0ve and treasure bef0re I regrets .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Him .

2009-10-10T00:11:00.009+08:00

S0meh0w heart still feels very hurt inside alth0ugh he left me f0r nearly tw0 m0nths .
I've live my life with0ut him f0r tw0 m0nths, 0ther than w0rk is still w0rk .
Life is c0vered with w0rk . N0 entertainment, n0 0uting, n0 m0vies, n0 night life .
Perhaps I am being t00 em0 . But tears will still r0ll d0wn my cheeks whenever I think ab0ut the past . I felt very weak .
Feel that I am breaking d0wn . Recently a l0t 0f things happen, makes me feel very stress . Very pressure .
If 0nly we were still t0gether, y0u'll cheer me up .
Em0ti0nally unstable .
When he decided t0 leave, I w0nder he think ab0ut me bef0re making a decisi0n like this . I d0ubt s0, cause if he really thinks ab0ut me and truely l0ves me, he w0n't hurt me like this, and I w0n't be in this state n0w .
Am glad that I'm still able t0 stay str0ng and carry 0n with my life .
Its n0t w0rth .
Its 0ver .
Life still g0es 0n, but with0ut him .
I've t0 get 0ver .
I've t0 wake up .

Seri0usly .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Ph0t0s

2009-10-04T21:32:00.011+08:00

Peace and twist . ((:

Chu ~ !

Bleahs . =p

Funny expressi0n, I like .

Super vain queen .

N0w y0u kn0w why I'm s0 vain . L0ls .

Super vain p0t ! ;)

I usually d0n't like eating strawberries, but I can't keep my hands 0ff the strawberries !!! I can hear them saying "eat me" !!! L0ls .

Its n0t t00 creamy . But its fattening ! (:

This is the ph0t0 that I ate the strawberry bl0ss0m fr0m Breadtalk, its sweet and nice ! =)

Strawberry bl0ss0m I've last week . As pr0mised, ph0t0s upl0aded . (:

0ff day (: .
W0ke up at 12 pm . L0ls .
Still tired . D0esn't seem like en0ugh .
Went t0 Aunt h0use f0r dinner .
And went h0me after that .
S0me0ne make me really pissed 0ff in the bus .
B0th the pers0n was talking l0udly despite I'm listening t0 my music .
That really makes me ann0yed fr0m the m0ment they abr0ad the bus and talking l0udly .

When we sit behind me and Sister, we felt unhappy . Alth0ught I'm playing my PSP but I can sense that they're d0ing funny things behind us .

Then I turned and saw these tw0 Caucasian were playing with Sister's hair, I felt very weird . S0 I never really b0ther them much, but deep in my heart, I'm super n0t happy, cause they're talking l0udly, disturbing my game .

Then, I felt s0me0ne t0uching my hair, that was when I g0t REALLY b0iled up .

I turned and sc0lded them . I say "I d0n't think that its n0t funny and st0p making a hell l0ud 0f n0ise" .

And when they align 0ne 0f them, ap0l0gized .

If y0u ap0l0gize, that sh0ws that y0u're guilty f0r what y0u've d0ne ealier 0n and have admitted it .

Damn, I detest Caucasian kids . They're s0 ill bred . Always l0ve t0 tease pe0ple, this is Singap0re, mind y0u .

Singap0rean d0n't take j0kes like this .

But Sister and Mummy says I'm very fierce t0 them, but I think that they deserves it .

I've decided t0 g0 taiwan next year .
Saving m0ney n0w . Taiwan 2010 .

L0ves mushr00m and p0tat0 a l0t a l0t .
Craving f0r p0tat0 s0up and carr0t s0up .

I'm l00king f0r tribal print, le0pard print and animal print watch .
Where d0 get it ?

I kn0w that y0u were tr0uble but I c0uldn't resist .

Label junkie . Bar c0ded .
Fireflies . I l0ve them .

Let's make a pact t0 meet 3 years later .

Miracles will happen if y0u d0n't give up .

L0ves vintage styles and trendy slippers . (:

Enj0y, play, vain . Enj0y, play, party .

Sh0p; chill; party . Sh0p; chill; l0ve .

If y0u 0nly have 3 secs 0r 3 mins left, what will y0u d0 ?

Ain't talking ab0ut y0u n0 m0re .

Ain't thinking ab0ut y0u n0 m0re .

I d0n't want a b0yfriend .

I d0n't need a b0yfriend .

Th0se mem0ries is fading away ? If 0nly time c0uld turn back . I need a time machine !!!

I might be switching my j0b s00n 0r I might w0rk till next year January and after that l00k f0r better j0b !

But any better 0ffer j0b c0mes al0ng, I will resign .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Mixed em0ti0ns .

2009-10-04T00:58:00.006+08:00

I think I l0ved this the m0st ! (: Cause my eyes l00ks big, and I l00k cute in this ph0t0 . L0ls . Later pe0ple say I acbc .

And this t00 ! =)

L00ks natural .

I kn0w I'm very vain . =x

The ph0t0s 0f my leg with the disgusting blue black .

This was taken ar0und 0ne week ag0 . N0w it's rec0vering and is turning red . I still d0n't dare t0 t0uch 0r press it .

Been p0sted t0 H0ugang Mall t0 help 0ut yesterday, the staff all g0t s0mething 0n . Very last minute . Really kn0w h0w t0 ch00se timing . Damn, I'm late, the place is very far fr0m my h0use and I've already wake up and left my h0use very early lia0s . But I'm still LATE !!! S0 angry . Then I kn0cked 0ff at 10 pm instead 0f the usual 9.30 pm . All thanks t0 the KIND cust0mers wh0 take their 0wn sweet time t0 decide 0n what t0 buy . Their cust0mer is very easy, unlike my 0utlet's cust0mers is very particular ab0ut the sh0es and they w0n't buy the display set .
But the staff there, Serene is s0 kind t0 me, she br0ught Mamee Maggie, its actually a tidbits, and P0kka green tea (my fav0urite) h0w sweet 0f her, and we are the 0nly tw0 pers0n w0rking, s0 0ther than serving cust0mer, we were talking . She even br0ught chicken ch0p f0r me, we ate the same f00d, the f00d at H0ugang Mall is nice and cheap, pe0ple wh0 w0rk and stay there is s0 f0rtunate . G00d f00d makes me happy . (:
Idi0t, I'm being m0lested tw0 times .

Stupid men, first time is 0n the bus, I was sitting inside, and this men is sitting beside me, when I wanted t0 align, he kn0ws I wanted t0 align but he sh0uld have stand up first instead 0f just m0ving his legs aside f0r me t0 get 0ut, s0 my butt t0uches his legs . Idi0t .
And sec0nd time is during w0rk, I'm 0n my way t0 the t0ilet when I feel s0me0ne is t0uching my butt, this m0lester is a 0ld uncle (she bei bei). I wanted t0 sh0ut at him, but he will surely deny and later he will say I bully 0ld pe0ple . S0me elderly were at fault and they were p0intly fingers at pe0ple, they always th0ught the y0ungersters are rude, n0w l00k wh0 is m0re rude ? D0esn't mean that they are 0ur seni0r and elderly, they can d0 anything they want and n0t get any warning .
Ph0bia f0r all guys and mens . T0tally freak me 0ut .

But sales is n0t bad . (:
The cust0mers there is g00d and easy t0 serve ! Plus, the f00d there is cheap and nice ! S0 h0mely ! =)

Yesterday is mid autumn festival . (: H0pe y0u have enj0y the m00n .

I didn't n0tice the m00n .
I miss playing and lighting up the candles .
Weehee, s0 fun !
L0ls .
Have y0u enj0y y0urs ? Like enj0y the scene 0f the full m00n and eat m00ncake and drink tea ?
Well, I d0n't eat m00ncake .

I'm very fussy ab0ut f00d .
Like eg I d0n't eat spicy f00d, p0rk, lamb, beef, seaf00d, durian, ba gua, m00ncakes and etc . Can't remember . When I d0n't eat s0mething, I w0n't eat it n0 matter what . 0kays I think I'm super rand0m here . Take n0te 0f what I d0n't eat . S0 that next time when we g0 0ut y0u guys kn0w what is my dislikes . L0ls .

Let's make a pact t0 meet 3 years later . =)
Way back int0 l0ve . Future l0ve .

I miss seeing y0ur face .
I miss hearing y0ur laughter .

0h n0, 0h n0, I need t0 re-adjust my sleeping time, I been sleeping very, very, very LATE !
And my brain started t0 think ab0ut a l0t 0f things . Think ab0ut used t0 chat 0nline with s0me0ne till very late .

I've decided n0t t0 g0 clubbing anym0re ... Maybe n0t f0r n0w . 0r I might n0t g0 anym0re .
Anyway n0b0dy is free anyway, always being rejected when asked, always receive funny excuses . S0, I rather n0t g0 . I n0t desperate, 0nly desperate pe0ple d0 visit the club t0 find partners . At least c0me 0ut with a better excuses lahs .

Taiwan next year, any0ne ?
Saving m0ney .
Pay day faster c0me pls . I need m0ney .

A s0ur feeling ... N0t right . Mixed feelings and em0ti0ns I c0uldn't c0ntr0l any further .

有一句话
再也都听不到
那些过往
只好放在心上
你爱我
太美好
时间会知道
怎样去
熬成一句动人的话
有一句话
再也都听不到
那些过往
让它自己燃烧
我爱你
太美好
时间会知道
怎样去
熬成动人一句话

I ate a l0t lately . The day bef0re I ate KFC, tw0 piece chicken with 0ne cheese fries and regular fries and sprite . And at night, Sister br0ught fries and c0ke which she can't finish and pass me, I ate a t0tal 0f 3 fries that day !
I'll be lying t0 y0u if I d0n't bec0me fat .

I need t0 sleep . Why d0 guys like t0 sleep very late ?
And they seems t0 like 0nline in the middle 0f the night .
W0nder what they d0 in the day ? L0ls .
Update again when I free, lazy t0 c0l0ur the f0nt and upl0ad ph0t0 . 0h, n0w the time is 3.40 am and I'm n0t asleep yet . Spinning headache, g0ing t0 bed n0w .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

raannndddd00000mmmmmm

2009-10-03T01:04:00.004+08:00

J0b hunting, sh0uld I ?
F0r the rest 0f the m0nth, I might n0t be bl0gging that 0ften .
Till t0 my very busy schedule .
I have 20 full shifts, 0ne m0rning shift and six aftern00n shifts in t0tal f0r this m0nth, I bet y0u can't imgine h0w busy and tired I am . T0tally shag and chui . S0 chuiiiiiii, cans ?
Anyway its g00d t0 be single 0nce again, I can enj0y d0ing a l0t 0f things . Like w0rk m0re . Earn m0re m0ney . (A g00d way t0 get rid unhappiness 0n my mind . ) Care f0r the pe0ple ar0und me eg family and friends and kn0w wh0 really c0ncern ab0ut me .
Even if I'm still attached, I d0ubt I have time f0r the pers0n, its n0t fair . And I can't be a g00d gf . Might as well n0t be in a relati0nship . Used t0 being al0ne .
S0me0ne is leaving at my w0rk place, kinda sad . N0b0dy can replace th0se happy mem0ries we all 0nce shared . N0b0dy can replace the j0y y0u bring us .

Kinda 0f miss saying, miss y0u deep deep, l0ve y0u big big 0r l0ve y0u deep deep, miss y0u deep deep . =)
MURDER L0VE .
BURY L0VE .
KILL L0VE .
Get away fr0m l0ve .
Run away fr0m l0ve .

See y0u REAL s00n !
0kays its 2.35 am n0w and I g0nna sleep, I need t0 wake up super early . I am dead beatttttttt ~ ! ): Pass me energy .

PS. I saw my admirer at the bank yesterday, he's s0 cute .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Happy again (:

2009-10-01T00:59:00.003+08:00

L00ks funny, but I like . (:

Peace . Yeahs =)

I l0ve this . =D

CHARLEEN ;

Alth0ught this l00ks blur but I l0ve the effect 0f it . <3

29 Sep
Sales wasn't that g00d .
Keep pushing cust0mer t0 buy . Either n0 size 0r talk a l0t 0f rubbish . Sians 1/2 .
Retail j0b is getting 0n my nerves .
N0t en0ugh rest .
Really tiredddddddddd .................
W0rk is en0ugh t0 keep my mind busy fr0m thinking things I sh0uldn't think . And I've started t0 learn t0 d0 settlement at night, s0metimes I feel stress, w0rry I might get sc0lded, s0metimes I d0 get s0mething I feel unhappy ab0ut, but afraid 0f v0icing it 0ut cause I respect them and I think s0me things its better t0 remain silent . N0thing happen, n0 w0rries . Just feel speechless s0metimes . Being silent is n0t a bad thing .

30 Sep
I eat a l0t, n0t sure why, but n0t feeling very hungry .
I ate fish slice s0up f0r lunch and three chicken wings fr0m 0ld Chang Kee . S0me0ne kept saying that I'm fat, s0 sad . ): S0bs s0bs .
But luckily dinner I just ate 0ne bread name berry s0mething, can't recalled, have three strawberries 0n it, s0 cute and it tasted sweet . (:
Shall share the ph0t0s I t00k with y0u all . S00n ...
And when I reach h0me, Mummie left f00d f0r me, like again, she been keeping f00d f0r me like lately, l0ls, n0 w0nder I been gr0wing fatter .

B00, t0day is CHILDREN'S DAY . (:
I'm a adult kid, any present, any0ne ? L0ls .
St0ck taking later in the m0rning, g0nna wake up super early but I'm right here bl0gging . L0ls . I miss sleeping early, s0 that I w0n't feel tired during the day, I realize I keep yawning when I was w0rking . Super yawn a l0t 0f times again .

After regaining my single status, I kept asking myself what is l0ve, and will I meet that RIGHT pers0n again ? N0 answer, d0n't feel like thinking ab0ut it, l0ve takes time . Especially when finding and meeting the right pers0n at the c0rrect timing .Whenever I saw c0uples, I g0t this s0ur feeling inside . My eyes will even feel watery . I'm envy with 0ther people's happiness . Maybe 0ne day I'll find the c0urage t0 l0ve again .
C0ded my l0ve .
Blank my l0ve .
Fcuk my l0ve .
Free my l0ve .
L0ve me, Charleen .
F0r n0w, I HATE L0VE . L0ve is n0t in the air . Let's talk ab0ut party n0t l0ve . Let's party till dawn . Get drunk and g0 h0me . =)
Hence, life after the darkness will be sunny again, my life is back t0 n0rmal just like bef0re . Bef0re anything happen .
I finally decided n0t t0 l00k back and m0ve 0n . Never turn back again this time, y0u can d0 it, Charleen, JIA Y0U, JIA Y0U, JIA Y0U ! =) Trying t0 find my l0st smile back again .

I saw my Celi0* b0y admirer . (: He l00k s0 seri0us in his w0rk . I g0t attracted t0 his sunshine b0y smile AND his seri0usness attitude . Anyway he's just my puppy l0ve . Crush .
I hate birthday party and event that inv0lves a l0t 0f pe0ple, I dislikes cr0wds, I d0n't like mixing ar0und . I'm super anti s0cial, I w0n't talk t0 y0u if I d0n't kn0w y0u unless we can click 0r have c0mm0n t0pic t0 chat . =D Well, this is me . =)

I can be nice .
I can be rude .
I can be fun .
I can be crazy .
I can be vain .
I can be sweet .
I can be r0ugh .
I can be n0isy .
I can be quiet .
I can be pretty .
I can be cute .
I can be happy .
I can be sad .
I can be everything y0u want .
I can be everything y0u hate .
This is ME . (:

Been very quiet recently and my ph0ne is very silent f0r m0st 0f the time .
Sh0uld I cut and dye my hair ? Feels like dying natural br0wn .

0h my, the w0unds l00ks like bl00d cl0t . Disgusting, I've ph0t0s t0 pr0ve it . I d0n't dare t0 rub it cause it hurts, but I heard that rubbing it the bl00d cl0t will disappear .
Diet and m0re nic0tine . L0ls . Nic0tine is my best drug .
By the way, nice s0ng t0 rec0mmend readers here, I hate l0ve sang by claude kelly . This is a nice s0ng rec0mmended by my c0lleague, he g0t g00d taste, I l0ve this s0ngs t0 bits, my current em0ti0ns .

Breaking up is just like having the w0rst nightmare after having the best dream .

The lyrics g0es:

That if y0u knew h0w much I needed y0u, y0u'd stay, cause I hate g00dbyes .

I hate these tears in my eyes .

I hate myself f0r the way I feel ab0ut y0u everytime . I've en0ugh .

I'm sick 0f wishing he was ar0und me everyday, everynight, it's way t00 much .
I hate l0ve .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu7nxfh8t4U

N0t his 0fficially vide0, can't find the 0riginal 0nes .

PS. I l0ve GREEN .

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

P0st f0r 0ne week .

2009-09-28T22:50:00.011+08:00

Capric0rn (22 Dec - 1 Jan )

Sagittarius (22 N0v - 21 Dec )

Sc0rpi0 (23 0ct - 21 N0v )

Libra (23 Sep - 22 0ct )

Virg0 ( 23 Aug - 22 Sep )

Le0 ( 23 Jul - 22 Aug )

Cancer (21 Jun - 22 Jul )

Gemini ( 21 May - 20 Jun )

Taurus ( 20 Apr - 20 May )

Aries ( 21 Mar - 19 Apr )

Pisces ( 19 Feb - 20 Mar )

Aquarius (1 Jan - 18 Feb )

I find all this is very cute, s0 decided t0 p0st it here . ((:

21 Sep
Sales wasn't always g00d 0n M0nday .
Try n0t t0 l00k very sians at w0rk .
Even if I'm, have t0 pretend t0 be happy .
Alm0st l0st my life in a car accident, all thanks t0 a inc0nsiderate driver wh0 0vercut the bus driver's line . At first, I th0ught the bus driver kn0cked int0 a cat 0r g0d and even pe0ple d0wn . But actually its n0t, but luckily he step 0n the brake 0n time, if n0t s0mething unpredictable might happen . I was carrying sh0es p0ssible t0 transfer t0 my 0utlet h0me, s0 it's hard f0r me t0 balance myself pr0perly when accident happens . But I have a big blue black 0n my leg and it turn red, can see the veins, its hurts whenever I tried pressing it . he bl00d cl0ts, I guess . And it's damn Hari Raya . After Hari Raya, my life hasn't been better . I hate Hari Raya, s0 unlucky day f0r me . I swear that this year is my w0rst year ever . I alm0st g0t killed in the car accident, alm0st g0t kn0cked d0wn by car, fall in and 0ut 0f l0ve, l0st my j0b twice, br0ther being naughty . W0rst year ever . But luckily its t0wards the end 0f the year s00n, appr0aching year 2010 in just tw0 m0nths' time .

F0ur m0re m0nths' t0 Chinese New Year and Valentine Day, falls 0n 14 Feb, happen t0 be my In Charge's birthday .

Seven m0re m0nths' t0 my birthday and this time I'm even 0lder . ):

22 Sep
The w0unds I've yesterday hurts, affect my w0rk, I can't even kneel and even climb t0 take sh0es . It hurts .
Went h0me late, cause 0f an0ther inc0nsiderate l0rry parked at the side 0f the r0ad, bl0cking th way f0r the 0ther vehicle way t0 g0 . Reach h0me at ar0und 11 pm . Quite late, cause n0rmally I reach h0me at ar0und 10 pm plus . Damn th0se pe0ple wh0 never m0ve int0 the rear 0f the bus, causing 0ther pe0ple t0 g0 h0me late, they can m0ve in but bl0ck the way .

23 Sep
Sales have been really bad, 0nly 200 plus bucks and it's very quiet . Keep pushing, but cust0mer is either n0t buying 0r th0se wh0 wants t0 buy d0esn't g0t their sizes . H0w disapp0inting .

24 Sep
Luckily sales is average t0day, manage t0 d0 slightly better than the last few days . Been wanting t0 g0 clubbing, it been m0nths since I g0 . N0b0dy is steady, ask already, get same replied, n0 m0ney 0r pretend I never text them . Act blur pe0ple really fake . If y0u d0n't feel like g0ing, just let me kn0w, I hate it when pe0ple beat ar0und the bush . And I n0 l0nger wanted t0 c0ntact all 0f my friends . Cause whenever I'm sad 0r unhappy, n0b0dy kn0ws, and n0b0dy is there f0r me, I'm n0t l00king f0rward t0 a friendship happen this way .

25 Sep
Waiting f0r pay day . Life is alm0st the same just like the past . I w0n't want the l0ve back since I've already decided t0 give my heart t0 him . It been weeks 0r m0nth since we are separated . I've d0ne a g00d deed . Feels very happy . Gave up my seat t0 a elderly . Even helped himn t0 the seat . I guess a l0t 0f pe0ple especially Singap0rean will pretend t0 sleep 0r carry the newspaper 0r b00k they are reading higher than give up their seat t0 s0me0ne wh0 needs it m0re . Inc0ndsiderate pe0ple ! S0 angry ! ): Sales's n0t g00d f0r a Friday . Bus is quite empty when g0ing h0me, manage t0 get a seat . But the air c0n is freezing c0ld . Due t0 F1, every0ne went t0 catch F1 . Freaking tired . Even since 6 Sep, been waking been at 7.45 am everyday 0ther than 0ff days, f0r m0rning and full shift . Wanted t0 earn m0re m0ney when I still can, have already get used t0 it especially it can help t0 numb my w0unds, n0 matter h0w tired I'm, its w0rth it .

26 Sep
Em0, 0ut 0f sudden will think 0f unhappy m0ments again . Especially th0se times when we spend 0ur time 0utside Taka, we will play with each 0ther, talk, laugh t0gether and even kissed . I n0 w0ndered l0ngs f0r him . N0 l0nger think as much as bef0re . N0 l0nger want t0 see him . But my heart, still l0ve him ? I d0n't kn0w and I d0n't wish t0 kn0w the answer, cause it n0 l0nger imp0rtant t0 me . But every m0rning, I get heart ache, I d0n't kn0w why, perhaps because I already g0t used t0 see his message whenever I wake up . The feeling 0f wanting t0 see the message is there . N0w I g0t g0ne . Can't get used . I wish up0n the stars f0r him t0 be happy always . I h0pe he will never kn0w all the things I bl0gged here . =) L0ve truely hurts, w0rds fr0m him kills .

27 Sep

Sales is n0t g00d .

N0 matter what pe0ple say I want t0 be with y0u, but y0u still ch00se 0thers .
L0st with0ut y0u . D0n't let me g0 .
A mixture 0f s0ng lyrics . N0 0ther meaning, d0 n0t mean anything 0r refering t0 any0ne here .
Em0, em0, em0 . (: Life is back t0 a square 0ne .
New ph0ne, blackberry, any0ne ? Buy 0ne f0r me . =) L0ls .

28 Sep
0ff day 0n a M0nday is really sucky, I d0n't usually like M0nday 0ff, n0 ch0ice, cause Wednesday having st0ck take . Went t0 Bugis al0ne . Em0 .
And went h0me a few h0urs later .
Br0ught a few items, a t0p f0r Mummy, tw0 pairs 0f canvas sh0es, cap, sh0es f0r w0rk, sh0rts f0r sleeping . And n0t f0rgetting, I g0t my eyebr0w trimmed . Wa, I spend a l0t . My m0ney is g0ne, again . Sp0tted tw0 vintage bags I l0ve and wanted s0 much, and guess what its the c0l0ur I been l00king f0r, vintage br0wn, s0 0bsessed with it, g0nna get them 0n my upc0ming Sunday 0ff day . (:
N0t f0rgetting t0 g0 t0 temple and pray and saw H0ng Sheng . I was chatting 0n the ph0ne just 0utside the temple when I saw him with his friends ? N0t sure wh0, just say hi and he went in . Afterwhich, left the temple and c0ntinue with the sh0pping .

* _____ _____ *

Un wanted

Un l0ved

Un missed

Un happy

Celi0* b0ys is cute . But the way they see pe0ple is s0 weird . Especially the 0ne I admired fr0m far, l0ls . His smaile and he's my cup 0f tea . He is damn cute, cans ?
By the way Mr Justin fr0m Singap0re Id0l is cute . Epecially with his geek geek spec .
Geek b0ys, y0u've capture my heart . L0ls . That's just a j0ke . But I l0ve geeks . ((;

F1 R0CKS have 0fficially ended . My her0 is Lewis Hamilt0n and he've w0n the race in the 1st place . (: And last year he was in the 3rd place, this year is a g00d year f0r him . Been supp0rting him ever since last year . 0h damn, he's s0 cute and h0t . I can't believed that he actually w0n the race ! =) Damn, damn happy ! He l00k super happy in the live tv sh0w, he even jump jump like a little kid wh0 just receive a candy . L0ls .
P0rsche, lamb0rghini, mercedes mclaren and Ferrari is h0t, damn, my all time fav0urite . F1 R0CKS SINGAP0RE . L. HAM .

I'm s0 em0 . =) That is n0thing wr0ng with being em0 . Em0 w0n't kills . 0r em0 kills ?

Types 0f cust0mers I can't stand, fact is I hate w0rking in retail lines .

: attitude pr0blem pe0ple turns me 0ff . I didn't sp0lit y0ur day, b*tch . D0n't destr0y mine .

: yaya papaya . If y0u're rich, d0n't sh0p here, sh0p in LV 0r Chanel . =) I detest rich pe0ple since y0ung ! =D

: pretend n0t hearing anything . Act deaf . At least resp0nse .

Pr0ject runway and Amercian's next t0p m0del is my fav0urite tv sh0w ! (:
Can't wait f0r p0l0 b0ys t0 be 0n tv 0n 15 0ct at channel 5 ! =) H0t b0dy . Cute face . But I can't see, cause I need t0 w0rk, w0rk, w0rk .

Bye bye f0r n0w, cause I d0 n0t kn0w when I might bl0g again, I might and might n0t bl0g .
Charleen's faceb00k acc0unt might be cl0sing d0wn s00n .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

My life .

2009-09-20T15:02:00.012+08:00

P0rk Ch0p - Mummy ate this . =)

Chicken Ch0p Rice - I ate this . (:

Fried N00dles ? N0t sure what it's . Sister ate this . =D F0rg0tten ab0ut what Aunt 0rder, Sister never take the ph0t0 .

My Cute Aunt & Cute Mummy . (:

Sisters with the same p0se . :0

L00k s0 faraway, the distance, I mean .

Ph0t0 0f me, 0nly, like finally . L0ls . Cute me .

My Cute Sister . ((=

Why the smile l00ks s0 fake ? That the reas0n why I d0n't like smiling sh0wing my teeth .

D0n't kn0w what happen t0 her, must be insane . L0l0ls .

L00k I'm s0 fat in this ph0t0 with d0uble chin, sians .

A decent ph0t0 0f me and Sister .

An0ther decent 0ne .

Tired, tired, tired . I need t0 sleep early fr0m n0w 0n .

W0ke up at 1.25 pm just n0w and slept at 3 am plus this m0rning .

Lately been sleeping f0r less than 7 h0urs .

S0metimes will sleep at ar0und 3 0r 4 am . Panda eyes is really dark .

W0rk was fine was fun d0metimes, g0t pe0ple entertain and make me smile . L0ls .

Yesterday w0rk m0rning shift, s0 after w0rk called Sister, ask them(Mummie, Aunt & Sister) where they were . It been a l0ng time since I g0 0ut with them . Atferwhich, meet them up at t0wn, l00k f0r them at Taka, walk pass my w0rk place at Ngee Ann City and see wh0 is w0rking, see them quite busy s0 never went t0 say hi .

And there's a M00ncake fair at Taka Square . S0 many m00ncakes ! (: S0 tempted !

I want ice cream m00ncake . Yummy .

Sister br0ught 0ne Ch0c0late m00ncake . And is n0t cheap, $6.5o .

I rather buy ice cream 0nes . I want t0 buy the 0nes in Fei Chui and Swensen ice cream's m00ncake .

After that we were deciding 0n what t0 eat, then they actually wanted t0 g0 Plaza Singapura K0pitiam again, everytime they g0 0rchard they will g0 there t0 have dinner .

Then Aunt and Mummy ask what we wanted t0 ask . I said why n0t eat s0mething m0re special ? Then I sugguested we eat Xin Wang H0ng K0ng Cafe in Cineleisure . In the end, Aunt treat us . =D Well, I hate g0ing t0 t0wn 0n Saturday .

As we walk 0ver there, I think ab0ut Mr N 0ut 0f sudden, if we were still t0gether, the pers0n g0ing there with me is n0t my family but him . D0n't understand, he said bef0re that he w0n't leave me cause he l0ve me a l0t but in the end he still decided t0 leave me . N0w I d0n't like g0ing there . Cause the place g0t t00 much 0f 0ur mem0ry . I need t0 st0p thinking ab0ut it . Better 0ff with0ut him . Release myself . L0ve, I guess I w0n't need that anym0re . Trust n0b0dy . Let me just bec0me a mem0ry 0f y0u as a dust . Let it fade in the air .

I kn0w that I am just a l0ve f00l . I feel sucha failure as a gf cause I can't d0 anything .I need y0u in my life . N0 matter what I have t0 d0, I will wait f0r y0u . I will be waiting .D0es he kn0w that I'm waiting ? D0es miracles exists ? Filled with disapp0intment and unhappiness .Y0u are the last pers0n pers0n I wanna l0ve f0r the rest 0f my life . Y0u are the last sh0ulder I wanna lie 0n . Y0u are the 0nly hands I wanna h0ld . Y0u are the last pers0n wh0 I wanna kiss . Y0u are the 0ne . Y0u are my happiness . N0w and f0rever .I wanna be a r0mantic gf f0r a day . I wanna l0ve y0u f0r this very time, this very m0ment . I wanna l0ve y0u till the w0rld dies . I wanna l0ve y0u f0r the very last time .N0 matter what I d0, I am n0t the best girl 0r gf y0u wanted . Happiness d0n't stay by my side, it always leaves me with unhappiness .I wanted t0 be l0ved t00 . Is that t00 much f0r me t0 ask ? Every0ne deserves t0 be l0ved . Mind is very vexed n0w . D0n't kn0w what I really want afraid might regret with my decisi0n . D0n't want live my life with regrets . I w0n't regret with my decisi0n f0r being with y0u .Unhappiness please g0 away . I need t0 try t0 be happy instead 0f faking my smile everyday . I d0n't even feel any slight happy at all . I am n0t thinking and waiting f0r y0u anym0re . I need t0 stay str0ng pls . A fresh st0ry ahead ? Y0u are n0t f0rg0tten . I can sense that y0ur l0ve is a lie .Same script, different cast .What is marriage ?What is everlasting l0ve ?What is the wedding v0w ?What is the engagement ring ?What is wedding g0wn ?What is marriage certifcate ?I knew n0thing . I d0n't wish t0 get marry .I 0nly kn0w pr0mises are meant t0 be br0ken .Even th0se v0ws y0u make 0n y0ur wedding day .Treasure l0ve, c0ward .I finally picked up my last bit 0f c0urage t0 refer t0 the messages he last send . Finally g0t the c0urage t0 read it again . Deleted but tears r0ll d0wn my cheeks again .Everytime when I think ab0ut him, I feel like cutting myself . I kn0w its n0t w0rth at least it c0uld help t0 numb my pain in the heart f0r awhile . It been very l0ng since I fall in l0ve and gets a heart break . I th0ught this time was different, but I still gets a heart break, time and time again . I am sick and tired 0f seeing hist0ry t0 be repeated again . It is really hard f0r me t0 take it . Heart still feels like needles p0king thru it a th0usand, milli0n times . Till its alm0st numb . All the mem0ries we 0nce have at 0rchard . I am just s0me0ne being treated like a t0y . When they want me, they l0ve me . And n0w that they have me, they aband0n me aside . N0w I finally understand h0w t0 keep all my em0ti0ns inside instead 0f letting it 0ut .

Even this Hari Raya makes me think 0f him, a l0t 0f things makes me link t0 him . It been s0 l0ng since I last heard fr0m him, be it a ph0ne call, a text message 0r seeing him 0nline . I hate myself f0r being like this . I hate myself f0r thinking ab0ut him again when I sh0uld f0rget . I've bec0me less caring and c0ncern f0r pe0ple ar0und me, be it c0lleague, 0r friends and even strangers . Whatever they d0 0r say I d0n't really care . Like I have withdraw fr0m pe0ple, I d0n't like when pe0ple ask and sh0w c0ncern f0r me, cause I think its very fake . Especially friends wh0 d0n't care ab0ut y0u and when s0mething happen t0 y0u, they pretend t0 sh0w that they care, this type 0f pe0ple I really detest a l0t . D0n't care means d0n't care d0esn't have t0 act like 0ne kind s0ul here . I've changed because I think n0b0dy deserve my c0ncern . The pe0ple I care and l0ve the m0st always ended up hurting me . And I'm really sick 0f it, I'm just pr0tecting myself fr0m getting hurt again . Whatever is g0ne, is g0ne . Can't find back, just like my smile, I may l00k happy but I'm just faking my smile . I'm n0t a happy pers0n and I d0n't find the need t0 deny . I just fcuking hate my life . I wish I c0uld just die . Cause I d0n't care and give a fcuking damn anym0re . Fcuked up life .

My ph0ne were very silent after the breakup, n0b0dy text 0r ph0ne me, 0nly when that is s0mething when pe0ple c0ntact me . An0ther reas0n is I g0t very few friends, I d0n't like mixing ar0und, I'm quite a anti pers0n, in fact I'm rather a l0ner and quiet pers0n but I d0 get really hyper and crazy at times when mixing with the right pers0n .

F0r eg, Mummy will call if she c00k my share 0f my fav0urite f00d . Sster will text me if Mummie c00k extra share 0f f00d . Friends will 0nly text 0r call when they need me .

I d0n't even b0ther t0 c0ntact them, I hardly c0ntact them, even have c0nflicts with them ab0ut the meetups s0metimes, really tired . I rather n0t meeting them, I tried asking them a l0t 0f times f0r meetups but 0ften the time is clashed . They're lucky t0 have find 0ffice, admin j0bs whereas am0ng them I'm the 0nly 0ne wh0 w0rk in retail, y0u kn0w retail h0urs . S0 the percentage 0f me getting weekends 0ff is very rare . M0rning shift is hard t0 get t00 .

S0metimes I feel very l0nely in this w0rld, feels like such a failure . Failure in everything . Feels like I g0t n0thing . I'll g0 0ut al0ne in the past but n0w I'll hide at h0me .

I fail f0r being a student . My qualificati0n, I 0nly c0mpleted my Nitec . I hate studies, n0 interest in it at all . S0 I give up . Hench, my English is n0t g00d, when times w0rds I can't spell, I'll check my dicti0nary . I can't speak English pr0perly 0r can't pr0nunce .

I fail f0r being a daughter . I'll t00k my parents f0r granted . Always when I'm quite pissed, I'll talk t0 my Mummy in a unp0lite manner . I d0n't talking t0 them that much s0metimes . Very naggy . 00PS . =X

I fail f0r being a gf . Speechless . R/S always g0t pr0blem . N0t treating ex bf n0t nice en0ugh 0r t00k them f0r granted . In the end they left f0r s0me0ne better . N0 peace . Fact is I hate being in l0ve, makes me very girly, weak and s0ft hearted .

I fail f0r being a friend . Friends c0me and g0 . They make friends and left . Hi bye friends, I've a l0t . I d0n't believe in trusting friends anym0re . Human is g00d at lying . I trust friends t00 much that I always ended up being betrayed and make used .

I fail f0r being a sister . Never d0 a g00d example f0r silbings t0 see . I set a bad example by n0t g0ing f0r better educati0n, went h0me very late, g0ing clubbing, several piercings and ink my b0dy, and sc0ld vuglar language .

I fail f0r being a human . I g0t attitude pr0blem . S0 cann0t really mix well with pe0ple and I find it hard t0 express myself, can't stand it when pe0ple wanted t0 find tr0uble with me and keep staring at me, will argue back, well, that me, very stubb0rn and h0t temper . Will even sc0ld vuglar language when I'm very pissed . C0ntr0ling myself . Was n0t a happy pers0n . I hate myself .

See, I'm such a bad girl n0 w0nder my life sucks, n0 many things happen .

But s0meh0w, I'm a l0t luckier c0mpare t0 s0me pe0ple wh0 are m0re unf0rtunate t0 me .

Alth0ught, I might n0t have a l0vely life, a g00d educati0n, perfect bf, dream career, w0nderful friends, but I'm happy that I still have my family with me and this fact will never changed . They're always with me, n0b0dy c0uld take that fr0m me .
Tell me h0w t0 change my life . I feel like cutting myself . Back t0 depressi0n th0ughts . I s0metimes w0nder if I've depressi0n .

I d0n't understand why d0es g0d wants t0 give me s0mething and take everything back fr0m me ? I rather n0t want anything in the first place .

I hate myself f0r still _____ him .

Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya t0 all the Muslims peeps 0ut there !

The ph0t0s f0r the f00d will be upl0aded when I'm free . (:

After that we went t0 Plaza Sing .

And went h0me after that .

0kays, Daddy is bringing us 0ut t0 eat .

F00d again . (: I'm bec0ming fatter ! My face turns r0under, which I hate m0st n0w is this feature . We went t0 818 ... Can't remember the name 0f the st0re . But it's l0cated near Jur0ng area, benefit th0se wh0se drive a big vehicle . My Daddie dr0ve th0se super BIG l0rry, in 0ther w0rds, he w0rk as a l0rry driver and Mummie is a h0usewife . =) I hardly talk ab0ut my family here .

I realize that my hair bec0me m0re fraglie, keep dr0pping and it's n0t as healthy and as black as bef0re .

0kays, this is my link f0r an0ther bl0g, Live J0urnal .

http://charleen-l.livejournal.com/ feel free t0 c0mment me . I created that acc0unt is because bl0gger went insane previ0usly . S0 far 0nly 0ne pers0n kn0w and c0mment in that bl0g . =D L0w pr0file . (: This is ANGIECHARLEEN . (=

Always l00k 0n the bright side 0f life . I h0pe I c0uld .

Y0u Sucks, I R0cks !

My all time fav0urite, MR SUPERMAN .

MR SUPERMAN, I L0VE Y0U . <3>
This bl0g is 0ne year 0ld ! =)

Regretted f0r deleted my previ0us bl0gs . N0w all the mem0ries is all g0ne .

PS. I want a t0y p00dle, pls . Secret c0de - 2005

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Untitle .

2009-09-18T00:13:00.008+08:00

Natural p0st . (:

I think I l00k s0meh0w 0r rather funny f0r ph0t0s sh0wing my teeth, l00k fake and funny . I prefer t0 smile with0ut sh0wing 0ff my teeth . L0ls . My c0lleague says the ph0t0 l00k funny t00 . What d0 y0u think ? HMMM ... And this is my first time wearing a chiff0n t0p, makes me l00ks sweet . L0ls s0 n0t used t0 it .

Especially this p0se, my c0lleague says l00k funny, I ask him why, he just replied just l00k funny l0rs . But Mummy says l00k 0ne 0f the celebrity . I d0n't think s0 .

G.I.JOE suit is damn h0t . =) W0n't f0rget this m0vie, last m0vie with _____ .

007 car is even h0tter ~ ! (:

My future husband t0 be . He's mine !

My l0ve, Bumble Bee . Live In Acti0n .

Bumble Bee twin br0ther 0n the street, taken at a fam0us h0tel in fr0nt 0f 0rchard area .

The $1 that I trying t0 make it stand . Very hard sia . I tried numer0us times .

I feel s0 excited when I'm actually managed t0 make the c0in stand with0ut falling despite numer0us time 0f trying .

Bl0g typing was fun ! L0ve it . And I can't believed that I'm back t0 bl0g . (:

Miss bl0gging . =)

Mr Bimb0 .

Mr Fun .

Mr Cheerful .

Mr Lame .

Mr Cute .

Mr Hunk .

Mr Muscle .

Mr Prefect .

Mr Petite .

Mr Peace .

Mr Men .

Mr L0nely .

Mr Lucky .

Mr H0rny . S0unds s0 wr0ng . 00ps, didn't guys think ab0ut sex every 5 mins ? L0ls .

Mr Petty .

Mr Crazy .

Mr Attitude .

Mr C00l .

Mr Hands0me .

Mr Happy .

Mr Hippy .

Mr Talent .

Mr Nice .

Mr L0vely .

Mr Messy .

Mr Vintage .

Mr Unique .

Mr Clever .

Mr Stupid .

Mr Dumb .

Mr Funny .

Mr Silly .

Mr Day Dream .

Mr Smart .

Mr Cheerful .

Mr J0ke .

Mr Hum0ur .

Mr Style .

Mr Tired .

MR BF .

0kays, that's s0 rand0m . T00 b0ring .

Suddenly g0t craving f0r p0pc0rn . 0h n0 .

0ut 0f sudden wanted t0 change ph0ne and number . S0 tempted .

Wanted t0 catch F1 LIVE t00 ! But the tickets is s0 n0t w0rth it at all .

I want sit

Craving f0r everything, kill me pls .

And, and, and I realize that I've been eating a l0t, bef0re I picked up sm0king again, and seri0usly I need a diet, hit the gym, excerise, and eat lesser ! Cutting d0wn 0n unhealthy, junk f00d . But I can't resist them . S0 temptating .

Forget about your boyfriend and meet me at the hotel room, you can bring your girlfriends and meet me at the hotel room. I guess this LYRICS is talking "them" having sex . (:

Hey Hey You You

I don't like your girlfriend

No way No way

I think you need a new one

Hey Hey You You

I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You

I know that you like me

No way No way

No, it's not a secret

Hey Hey You You

I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine

I want you mine

You're so delicious

I think about you all the time

You're so addictive

Don't you know

What I can do

To make you feel alright

Don't pretend

I think you know

I'm damn precious

And hell yeah

I'm the mother fucking princess

I can tell you like me too

And you know I'm right

She's like so whatever

You can do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey Hey You You

I don't like your girlfriend

No way No way

I think you need a new one

Hey Hey You You

I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You

I know that you like me

No way No way

No, it's not a secret

Hey Hey You You

I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way

I see the way

You look at me

And even when you loo

I know ur type

boy ur dangerous

yeah ur that guy

i'd be stupid to trust

but just one night couldn't be so wrong

u make me wanna loose control

I'm y0ur m0ther fcuking princess . (:

I wanna be y0ur girlfriend .

I c0uld be y0ur girlfriend .

I can be y0ur girlfriend .

I think I'm high . L0ls . Rand0m again .

I kn0w y0u're tr0uble but I cann0t resist

Y0u make me wanna l0se c0ntr0l

If y0u l0ve s0me0ne, set them free . If they c0me back, it is meant t0 be .

If y0u really l0ve s0me0ne, y0u w0n't leave them .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

EM0, ELM0

2009-09-14T03:08:00.021+08:00

I kn0w this ph0t0s are ugly, fcuking ugly, but 0ther than and his ph0t0, that is n0thing else I can d0 t0 make me smile, f0rcing myself t0 smile again is hard, s0 I g0t n0 ch0ice . But I think they're interesting . (: S0meh0w make me wanna smile . His ph0t0 really make my day, I lied, I sh0uld have deleted everything ab0ut him but I'm still keeping his ph0t0s, whenever I'm met sad incident 0r think ab0ut him, I will l00k at his and 0ur ph0t0 and s0meh0w 0r rather it will make me smile . Even his hugs, his kiss, he whisper "I L0VE Y0U" in my ears . Still very sweet .

Sh*t, its 3.08 am n0w and I can't sleep . Head spins and hurts like hell .
Ever since the messy breakup, I been l0sing sleep alm0st everyday . I'll 0nly sleep when I'm very tired, I feel very tired at w0rk . Will even d0zed 0ff when sitting and even standing in the bus .
I guess this is my w0rst breakup I g0t . Life is back t0 black and white . Life turned upside d0wn . Back t0 my l0nely, em0, sad w0rld .
Feels like cutting myself .
S0unds fcuking stupid .
If I die 0ne day with0ut saying g00dbye will any0ne kn0w and care ?
I d0n't have much time left . I might leave anytime . I will die in a car accident . I g0t this str0ng feeling that I'll die very y0ung .
Negative th0ughts . L0ls, I think its funny t0 think ab0ut this n0w, cause every0ne will die, it's just a matter 0f time . Early 0r late .

Secrets or hidden messages are once again playing a role in your romantic affairs, Taurus. Whether you are single or attached, today may be a day where you expose or discuss hidden or private subjects, but these will not be dark in nature. This may simply involve finally exposing your fantasy to someone special, or even discussing issues of the past that brought you to where you are today. You can expect conversations and interactions with romantic interests to be intense, but the intense conversations are the ones that deepen romantic bonds. Sharing your inner thoughts with someone you trust is going to bring you the progress you are looking for today.

My l0ve life:
1. Mr R.idzwan` - (First l0ve) I d0n't l0ve him that much . The feeling wasn't very deep . A malay guy, n0thing special . 4 0r 5 years ag0 .
2. Mr R.ei Q.iang` - Puppy l0ve, this l0ve is very sweet and pure . Ended it cause the feeling is very wr0ng in the end . L0st c0ntact .
3. Mr K.ens0n*` - He've d0ne a l0t f0r me . Married with a kid n0w . But the marriage didn't last with his ex wife . He l0ve his spicky hair a l0t, very vain guy .
4. Mr T.rys0n**` - Kn0w this guy f0r 0ne 0r tw0 years thru a friend but we hardly c0ntact each 0ther . Until 0ne day, I've s0me pr0blem in my R/S s0 I seek his help and afterwhich we ended up being t0gether . Br0ught a l0t 0f l0llip0p f0r me and put it in a b0x, want me t0 be happy . He's a chef wh0 c00k really nice g00d . He's really sweet and really cute l00king, always give in t0 me . He've d0ne a l0t f0r me . L0ve him very much but ended up being hurt deeply . He's still single, but he's a faker . D0ne s0mething really hurt me . Still think ab0ut him s0metimes . T00k him f0r granted in the past .
5. Mr R.ay` - I've f0rg0tten ab0ut him, can't rememeber anything ab0ut him, bef0re we get t0gether, we will chat 0n the ph0ne everytime . This R/S d0esn't l00k like n0rmal c0uple . We are m0re like friends . He f0und his happiness n0w .
6. Mr K.enny% - A jerk, my ITE sch00lmate, l0ve at first sight . G0 ar0und flirting with girls . N0. 6, 7 & 8 guy is just flirting . They're n0t int0 me . Get t0gether f0r days 0nly .
7. Mr A.drian% - Lie ab0ut his whereab0uts, actually g0t case . Pr0blematic kid, CAB = Cha0 Ah Beng . He is always acting Beng . D0n't kn0w why I l0ve him in the first place . Must be blind .
8. Mr T.0ny% - Everytime I heard this name, I'll get b0iled up, a freaking g00d act0r in fr0nt 0f me, he g0t the l00ks and is using it t0 flirt behind his GF . I d0 n0t kn0w that he's attached until I checked 0ut his friendster acc0unt . Same case with n0. 11 guy . Makes me s0unds like a third party, when I kn0w n0thing at all . But I'm just a victim .
9. Mr D.amien% - He's actually s0me0ne I d0n't wish t0 be with, cause he's my g00d buddy, he's nice, always there f0r me, keep saying that he like me, we'll always quarrel, but in the end we will make it up and in the end we even l0se this friendship . N0t w0rth dating friends . L0se 0ne g00d friend f0r n0thing, and f0r g00d .
He said s0mething nasty s0 I never f0rgive him . He d0esn't want the friendship in the first place . Makes me really upset . Miss him s0 much, w0nder h0w he is d0ing n0w . H0pe can see him again and revive this friendship back .
10. Mr A.lex` - He's 0ne year y0unger than me . He's cute, but we're n0t c0mpatible . Met him when w0rking in Carref0ur . Will always quarrel . The day I left, he didn't st0pped me, all he did was playing with his PSP . Happiness f0und .
He's happily attached n0w, felt happy f0r him . This was 2 years 6 m0nths ag0 .
11. Mr N.aszreen***` - (Last l0ve) A Chinese mix Malay guy . N0 much c0mments . Nice and l0ving in the beginning, but is a heartbreaker . An0ther player . I l0ve him the m0st and he hurt me the m0st, the m0st . Left f0r an0ther girl . Breakd0wns when think and talk ab0ut him . Last guy I l0ve . N0t w0rth my tears . T00k l0ve and pe0ple ar0und him f0r granted .
Actually still cann0t get 0ver him, still thinking ab0ut him . Still _____ him .

Played tar0t card, I asked ab0ut me and _____ will have any ending, I picked three card, 0ne 0f it I ch0se is the l0vers . But in the end, the ending wasn't what the l0ver card is saying .
S0me0ne ever t0ld me that this card is the best card if y0u wanna kn0w ab0ut s0mething in relati0nship . _____ is still 0n my mind . I even tried taking 0ff day 0n _____ just t0 meet him, but was diappr0ved, instead I g0t tw0 ____ m0rning shift, was happy als0, at least can meet f0r a few h0urs m0re and its en0ugh but it's t00 late bef0re anything c0uld be d0ne .
Maybe the card I picked is just c0incidence . D0es n0t mean anything else .
At first I feel s0 happy hearing it but after that I kn0w it's n0t my happiness . Hate myself f0r being s0 weak and s0ft hearted .

Crazy ab0ut F1 . Th0se c00l engines and h0t brakes ~ ! Th0se cute guys t0tally turn me 0n t00 ! (:

All the guys I kn0w always left me with w0unds all 0ver . And are jerks . All n0 happy ending, n0 lasting l0ve . Never last m0re than 3 m0nths . N0w y0u kn0w why I wanna stay single, I rather stay single better than getting hurt in a R/S . Very hard f0r me t0 l0ve . The fear 0f rejecti0n, being aband0ned, cheated .
Seri0usly I f0rg0tten I g0t h0w many ex bf already . The 0ne I can remembered I type it 0ut .
All is seri0us but d0n't kn0w why n0ne last . I'm n0t a flirt, I'm l0yal and faithful in R/S . But 0ften being treated like sh*t . Maybe its my pr0blem, my fault . But th0se sweet and happy m0ments I'm still missing them all . I g0t a l0t 0f crush and puppy l0ve in the past . Th0se feelings is very pure and sweet .

* means i ____ y0u .
** means i ______ y0u a l0t .
*** means i ________ y0u very very much .

(:

After typing this p0st, pe0ple will think I'm such a flirt . But I kn0w I'm n0t . I'm always me, need n0b0dy t0 judge me . Wh0 cares ?
My l0ngest R/S is 3 m0nths .
My sh0rtest R/S is three days .
My l0ngest rec0rd f0r being single is 2 years and 6 m0nths .

Envy c0uples f0r celebrating anniversary and Valentine Day t0gether . I did with 0ne 0f my ex, but I wan't happy . Envy girls that receive present like r0se, ch0c0late and even bear . L0ls . I never receive bef0re . Envy with GREEN . Jeal0usy kills .
I h0pe I can celebrate every single special 0ccasi0n with that special pers0n in the future .
Time is n0t right, s0 MR RIGHT haven appear .

look out (x3)
where its at
i know karma's coming to pay me back
im with the sweetest thang thats on the map
i broke her heart in 30 seconds flat
in 30 seconds flat
now how did i
just how did i become that kind of guy
to look at girl and lie right in the eye
my momma told me willy that aint right
boy now that aint right
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break your heart
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break ya
b b b b break it baby
look baby
im a heartbreaker (x6)
im a heart
a h h h h
im a heart
a h h h im a
where she go
i got some things i gotta let her know
to fix the love now its impossible
but baby baby if we take it slow
if we take it slow
we can make it work
we just cant throw the love down in the dirt
you probly think that im a f**kin jerk
cuz the way i let you down it made you hurt
i didnt mean to make you hurt
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break your heart
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break ya
b b b b break it babylo

Because 0f y0u, I d0ne s0me things that I w0n't d0 in my previ0us R/S . I'm back t0 sm0king track because 0f y0u . I feel stress . I feel empty . I feel l0nely . I feel w0rthless . I feel vexed . Y0u say y0u d0n't like y0ur gf t0 g0 0ut with guys even if he is just my friend, I listen t0 y0u, I never meet them, y0u say y0u d0n't like y0ur gf t0 c0ntact and message guys, I listen t0 y0u, I never c0ntact and text them . H0w ab0ut y0u ? Didn't y0u d0 that als0 ? I didn't st0p y0u fr0m meeting 0r c0ntacting y0ur girl friends at all . Freed0m is very imp0rtant in a R/S t00 . Y0u're putting y0ur happiness 0nt0 my unhappiness . I'm n0t happy at all because I want y0u t0 be happy . D0 y0u kn0w I fall in l0ve with y0u is because 0f y0ur smile ? When I see y0u smile, I will be very happy . My heart will melt . But I d0n't kn0w why we can't have a peaceful and happy R/S . 0ur R/S always g0t pr0blem . I kn0w y0u are trying y0ur best t0 make the R/S w0rk, I can see that . I kn0w y0u care . I kn0w y0u're f0rcing y0urself t0 be with me when y0u're n0t happy at all . I want y0u t0 be truely happy and n0t f0rcing and faking y0ur smile, f0rcing t0 put 0n a smile in fr0n 0f me . I want y0u t0 be happy, even if I've let g0 and give up everything, n0thing beats than seeing y0u smile . Y0ur smile is my everything . Life with0ut y0u is darkness . Y0u c0l0ured my life again . If we were n0t t0gether I think I will still c0ntinue being em0 and never kn0w l0ve and never tasted l0ve and in l0ve again . Y0u make me wanna l0ve again . I spend weeks try revivng th0se feelings but yet y0u're spending y0ur time enj0ying y0ur time with an0ther girl . I guess this is called RETRIBUTI0N f0r being the third party between y0u and y0ur ex gf, s0 that why this happened t0 me . I d0n't kn0w why y0u dislikes me s0 much that y0u w0n't want t0 see me even f0r the last time . I th0ught I can revive y0ur heart and th0se feelings back if we c0uld meet again . Why can't y0u make it happen again like y0u did bef0re t0 win back my heart ? What is the use 0f having y0ur heart when its empty ? I want all y0ur full 0f energy l0ve . It's s0 hard f0r us t0 get back t0gether again after we tried s0 many times t0 w0rk it w0rk . Why can't y0u d0 s0mething ? Th0se nights we hang0ver was my happiest m0ments in life when i'm with y0u . Till n0w t00 . The feeling d0esn't seems t0 fade . But s0meh0w I d0n't think ab0ut y0u that much n0w, I'm sl0wly f0rgetting y0u . I treasure, cherish and l0ve y0u . But I'm really very tired, at times . I keep thinking and asking myself why can't y0u be the pers0n wh0 give in t0 this R/S and instead 0f just taking ? It w0n't w0rk this way . L0ve is give and take . L0ve is share and bear . We w0rked and fight s0 hard t0 be t0gether again, why are y0u pulling it d0wn again ? Is it cause I treat y0u n0t g00d en0ugh ? Perhaps I'm n0t g00d en0ugh f0r y0u . I have never ever given up 0n y0u and 0ur R/S . Be it th0se times y0u lied t0 me 0r n0w, I've never changed, but I realize y0u've changed a l0t . But y0u gave up first, its n0t fair t0 me . Y0u keep quiet ab0ut everything . I didn't wanted t0 break up in the first place, all al0ng I wanted m0st is t0 see y0u smile happily even if 0ne day I've t0 leave y0u . But I never c0me acr0ss my mind s0 its s0 fast that I've t0 let g0 when I'm trying t0 make this w0rk f0r us . S0 many w0rds never tell y0u . S0 many places never g0 t0gether . S0 many things never tell y0u . Y0u leave everything t0 a hist0ry . I always trust y0u, s0 much till whatever y0u say I'll believe even th0ugh I still have d0ubts 0n y0u s0metimes, but I tell myself that I must trust my BF . Even if y0u said y0u went 0ut with friends 0r even clubbing . As l0ng as y0u let me kn0w y0ur whereab0uts, at least I w0n't have t0 w0rry f0r y0u in case any accident happens . But whenever I trust y0u, s0mething bad happens, it's n0t 0nce, twice but m0re than that . And its always happen I d0n't wish t0 happen . I l0ve y0u s0 much, care s0 much f0r y0u, but in the end y0u said y0u d0 a l0t f0r her and she did a l0t f0r y0u, in y0ur heart, I'm always a bad GF, n0t kn0wing what y0u want and h0w y0u feel in this R/S . Y0u always said I think ab0ut myself, but d0 y0u kn0w that s0metimes y0u're s0 full 0f y0urself ? I can't stand it t00 . I g0t my limits t00 . Its just that s0metimes I just pretend and d0n't wanna kn0w . Was being ditched in silence with0ut kn0wing anything bef0rehand . Y0u enj0y, I suffer . Seeing is believing . Ign0rance is bliss . Why y0u're n0t that pers0n wh0 d0ne a l0t f0r me ? Why the pers0n y0u l0ve a l0t is n0t me ? Even if n0w I've never ecxpected y0u t0 change . Why y0u can stay faithful t0 her and y0ur ex and n0t t0 me ? Just 3 weeks, and y0u're 0ff with s0me0ne else, I'm being a f00l here . T0 me, 3 weeks isn't a very l0ng peri0d 0f time . I wished we c0uld last m0re than that . I l0ve y0u s0, why d0 y0u want t0 leave ? Why y0u have t0 be that pers0n ? Why is it y0u ? Why d0 y0u keep hurting me ? Why d0es all this have t0 happen ? What have I d0ne wr0ngly t0 deserve all this ? I have d0ne n0thing wr0ng t0 y0u . Y0u start y0ur new life and never turned back . I've always been the brave and str0ng, I will get back 0n track again but can I be the weak CHARLEEN f0r 0nce and leave quietly ? I tried everything I c0uld t0 get y0u back but this ending is what y0u been expecting all this while . I'm clear minded when y0u say that, s0 I ch00se t0 let g0 . But ... Can't we have a peaceful instead 0f a messy breakup ? At least I w0n't be s0 heartbr0ken . Y0u destr0y and t00k everything fr0m me . Why d0 y0u t00k my smile and happiness away ? Em0ti0nally lately, 0ther than being em0, been wanting t0 cry . I need a sh0ulder . If 0ne day I die will y0u cry f0r me ? I realize that I'm n0t that str0ng afterall . i hate the fact that y0u have left and I've t0 pretend t0 be happy . Waiting f0r a heart that never c0me back . H0w I wish ... I already bel0ng t0 y0ur past . She is y0ur current and future . N0 l0nger anything in y0ur heart . H0pe her ending d0esn't end like y0ur ex and mine, s0 pathetic and heart br0ken, h0pe y0u can last l0ng with her ! Ever since y0u left, till n0w I guess I've sl0wly letting g0 and search f0r my smile in vain . I NEED THEM BACK AGAIN ! By the way, I must really thanks th0se pe0ple wh0 really sh0w care and c0ncern ab0ut me when I'm really d0wn, th0se messy, sad m0ment, I d0n't wanna think ab0ut it anym0re . Finding the 0ld me back 0n track . I s0meh0w can sense that y0u w0n't be back anym0re, its really g00dbye f0r us and the pain is sl0wly fading away in the air . I mean what I say this time, I w0n't c0ntact y0u means I w0n't, anym0re . N0 matter h0w much I miss y0u and h0w much I wanted y0u t0 be here again . D0n't kn0w whether y0u still viewing my bl0g despite telling y0u n0t t0 view anym0re, I think y0u w0n't anym0re, that g00d . Sh0ws that y0u n0 l0nger l0ve me, I kn0w . If y0u c0uld remember we chatted 5 weeks ag0, and I say 0ur relati0nship seems very funny cause we d0n't seem t0 care ab0ut each 0ther that much and y0u th0ught I wanted t0 leave y0u, and if I really did, y0u ask me t0 leave y0u 5 weeks later, which is las few weeks ag0 . H0w c0ncidence 0r y0u already plan ? It sh0ws that h0w much we are n0t meant t0 be . G0d wanted the ending f0r us t0 be like this t00 . I 0nly c0uld see y0u with 0ther girls . I wish y0u all the very, very very best . Best blessing .

But heart is hurt and numb that I d0 n0t have the c0urage t0 l0ve again . I started t0 dislike d0ing things which I enj0yed and l0ve d0ing bef0re we were still t0gether, I l0st interest in everything . Even cute guys . ): N0t s0 crazy 0ver them anym0re .

Same Script Different Cast

Whitney: Um?hey Deb.

Deborah Cox: Mmm hmm?

WH: Thank you for being woman enough to come.

DC: Whitney, what′s this about?

WH: I know he′s leaving me for you.

DC: Who said that? Who told you that it′s true?

What is he telling you?

Could it be the same things that he told me?

DC: He told me that he loved me.

WH: I heard that.

DC: He told me I was[harmony] beautiful. How did you know? How did you know?

WH: Because I played that scene before.

CHORUS:This is a retake of my life.

I was his star for many nights.
Now the roles have changed,

And you′re the leading lady in his life.

Lights, camera, now you′re on.

Just remember you′ve been warned.

Enjoy it now, ′cause it won′t last.

Same script, different cast.

DC: What you′re saying could be true.

But how can I take advice from you?

WH: I′m not hating,

But I wish the one before me

Would have warned me too babe.

DC: Don′t say no more. La La La La La La La La La

WH: Uncover your ears, gir

T0 fix the l0ve n0w its imp0ssible .

L0ve 0r bread ?

L0ve 0r m0ney ?

L0ve 0r labels ?

What will y0u ch00se ? C0ded my l0ve . Barc0de my l0ve . Kidnap my heart . L0ve me, Charleen . H0pe its l0ve y0u ch00se .

EM0 like elm0 . Feeling quite l0nely in this w0rld . Living in my 0wn w0rld s0metimes .

Addicted t0 GREEN tea, ch0c0late and p0tat0 wedges . (:
Miss eating MINGLES, nice f00d, reas0nable price, 0nly at Vel0 City, always eat with c0lleague and we will return them their utensil after finishing their f00d . I l0ve their p0tat0 wedges with cheese and waffle ice cream ! (: Nice f00d makes me happy ! =) But they will be cl0sing f0r weeks t0 ren0vati0n, unable t0 enj0y their f00d f0r the next few weeks . F00d is what I enj0yed the m0st in my life . I started t0 get weird tastebuds, I'm in l0ve with Mr Latte, Mr Cappuccino recently . I d0n't drink c0ffee at all, but I'm suddenly in l0ve with them ! (:

And I'm int0 heels and dresses ! G0nna get m0re . 0h, Mummie is s0 g0ing t0 kill me ! =x

PARTY, PARTY, PARTY . =D M00d t0 clubbing s0ngs .

Damn, went t0 buy cigarette just n0w, the pers0n wants t0 check my IC, but was half happy t00, cause after I hit the 20s, I might n0t be able t0 hear it anym0re . The pers0n must be thinking why g0t Xia0 Mei Mei can buy cigarette des . Even g0t s0me uncles th0ught I underage sm0ker . D0ts l0rs . I think after this p0st, I might g0 MIA f0r awhile, wh0 kn0ws I might changed my mind again by bl0gging . Very sick and tired 0f everything . Hate myself al0t, al0t . Hate my em0ti0ns . Why I cann0t f0rget and let g0 . Back t0 my life, sm0king life . N0thing beats than being happy .

PS . Attenti0n seekers turns me 0ff . Especially guys . Yucks .

X0X0

F C U K M E .

2009-09-13T23:57:00.003+08:00

Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to
If You Seek Amy

=

All the b0ys and all the girls are begging t0 F U C K M E .

S0ng by Britney Spears, If Y0u Seek Amy . Nice 0ne, she d0esn't want pe0ple t0 mistaken her as a sl*t . S0 she is singing this s0ng t0 the media . (: Y0u g0, girl, Britney ! =)

X0x0 .

...

2009-09-13T01:59:00.002+08:00

郭静 - 知道

她让你憔悴许多她让你不知所措她的一举一动你不停的对我说我微笑倾听你说我却越听越心痛怎么你说的不是我她比我多了什么让你愿意耐心等候我想知道她让你痴心是什么我想知道她让你疯狂为什么我知道做的和她没有不同但是我却不在你的心中逗留我想知道她哪里比我好很多在你心中她和我有什么不同我知道我比她付出的还多可是我总换不了你的心动你让我憔悴很多你让我不知所措你一举一动我的心被牵着走她不经意的走过你就把我给冷落嫉妒把我给吞没她比我多了什么让你愿意耐心等候我想知道她让你痴心是什么我想知道她让你疯狂为什么我知道做的和她没有不同但是我却不在你的心中逗留我想知道她哪里比我好很多在你心中她和我有什么不同我知道我比她付出的还多可是我总换不了你的心动我知道了她哪里比我好更多在你心中我永远不可能会让你心动我知道我比她付出的还多可是我在你心中没有她多

温岚 - 傻瓜

其实他做的坏事我们都懂没有什么不同眼光闪烁暧昧流动闭上眼当作听说其实别人的招数我们都懂没有什么不同故作软弱撒娇害羞只是有一点别扭傻瓜也许单纯地懂爱得没那么做作爱上了我不保留傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜其实别人的招数我们都懂没有什么不同故作软弱撒娇害羞只是有一点别扭傻瓜也许单纯地懂爱得没那么做作爱上了我不保留傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜

傻瓜 - 陈奕

不知不觉哭了好久我还想着你说过的话你说要一起加油说要再牵着我可是我却看不见你的手那天晚上泪如雨下我哭倒在房间地板上随便装忘的崩溃回忆在每个地方相爱的画面为什么那么心伤我只是一个傻瓜为你把眼泪流光心碎了却还是假装自己好坚强我笑得好傻不过在掩饰哀伤痛的时候才真的看见绝望我只是一个傻瓜为你把力气用光也许你早就不在我却还在奢望你走得好静一点也没有声响这种离开原来才最叫人永远难忘

Say You Love Me - 七朵花

下过大雨的天空我的彩虹灰灰的是否你还会记得说过你会牵着我的手乌云密布的天空我的回忆湿湿的没有你爱着的我让我开始学着和孤单做朋友我的心中还有太多话来不及说我们还有太多地方没一起去过say you love me 眼泪在求救say you need me 别让我难过我好脆弱不知道该要怎麽做say you love me 不能再重头say you need me 别把快乐通通都带走我的心痛你不懂是不是不够勇敢我的心越飘越乱忽然失了方向感哪里能找得到答案总是一个人守候因为你习惯自由等不到你来爱我明明两个人却反而更寂寞我的心中还有太多话来不及说我们还有太多地方没一起去过say you love me 眼泪在求救say you need me 别让我难过我好脆弱不知道该要怎麽做say you love me 不能再重头say you need me 别把快乐通通都带走我的心痛你不懂我的心中还有太多话来不及说我们还有太多地方没一起去过say you love me 眼泪在求救say you need me 别让我难过我好脆弱不知道该要怎麽做say you love me 不能再重头say you need me 别把快乐通通都带走请你不要留下我

Way back into love

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past,
I just can’t seem to move on
I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
oh oh oh

X0x0 .

Raannndddd00000mmmmmm

2009-09-12T20:51:00.009+08:00

Let the ph0t0 did the talking, its simple, its f00d and its nice .

As pr0mised, upl0aded ph0t0s at Swensen . (=

Its Saturday today yet I'm alone at home . Just knocked off from work . Freaking tired . My bones is cracking . Aching like heck .

Ate maggie mee with eggs . Yummy ~ ! =) L0ve dinner . Ai xin wan can .

Just g0tten my pay . Average m00d . G0nna save this m0nth . W0rk m0re 0T .

I guess I'm just using w0rk as a excuse t0 numb myself and av0id the pain .

Starting t0 plan f0r my future . I want h0lidays ! I want 0verseas trips and pampered myself with branded g00ds . I'm being influenced by being a label junkie n0w . G0 crazy f0r brands .

Fr0m n0w 0n, every Saturday I'll be free . N0 m0re late night m0vie . N0 m0re meet up with ____ . S0 d0 ask me 0ut ! (:

Cause I'm single and available . But l0ve is n0t in the air . (:

Just wanna play and enj0y life .

Clubbing, partying and wild nights ! =)

This is me, the 0ld me . With0ut thinking that is t0m0rr0w .

Wanna catch The Ugly Truth, like nice lehs . M18 . (:

I can g0, I'm n0t underage girl, 0kays . Any0ne interested ?

Date me, pls, yes, date me, I say .
L0ls, I als0 want t0 g0 see F1 . F1 R0CKS ! :))

Chi0ng my work . 0T, 0T, 0T . M0ney, m0ney, m0ney . =D

Bananas & green apples are my fav0urites ! They've been my dinner buddy recently .

Skipped dinner too much . N0 appetite at all . Alth0ugh I eat very little n0wadays I feel very bl0ated, my st0mach l00ks very fat .

Gastric acting up again . Better 0ff kill me, then I can g0 heaven 0r hell ? L0ls .

Make me laugh again .

I want find my laughter back .

I miss the 0ld me wh0 always laugh 0ut l0ud and d0n't care h0w pe0ple say and l00k at me .

Smoking last cigarette . I will n0t give up this time . I will n0t quit this time .

0ther than being em0 and upset, I'm still upset and em0 . Y0u and me kn0w the answer why .

Bl0gging and bl0g h0pping . (:

I'm really tired . I d0n't want t0 l0ve anym0re .

L0ve hurts . It hurts deeply thru my heart . Just like a knife stabbing thru my heart repeatedly, and it is bleeding pr0fusely .

My heart g0t en0ugh w0und . My heart needs s0me healing .

M0ney can't buy l0ve, happiness and hugs .

If I g0nna l0ve again, that pers0n must g0ne been thru ups and d0wns, j0y and s0rr0ws with me .

N0t g0nna l0ve again .

Heart is breaking int0 pieces .

After s0 many days, I'm still _____ .

L0ve, sex, magic .

X0x0 .

L0ngest p0st ever .

2009-09-09T14:59:00.013+08:00

Its o9.o9.o9 .
But I'm n0t happy .
Remind 0f s0me0ne, makes me think I've g0t n0thing left .
Pe0ple ch00se this day t0 get marry while I was being left al0ne yesterday fr0m n0w 0nwards .

Bl0g h0pping ar0und .
Back t0 bl0gging .
Sh0uld I use bl0gger 0r LiveJ0urnal ?

Th0ught 0f finding new j0b .
C0nfused . Sh0uld I ? Can't make up my mind .
0ff day . (:

Sister treated me and Mummie t0 Swensen .
She even say this last night . I'm s0 g0ing t0 Swensen . =)
L0ls .
Nice f00d . Even t00k ph0t0 0f the f00d . Shall p0st it 0ne day . Sister t00k my camera with her .

Deleted repeated messages . Pls p0st just 0nce . Click g0 f0r 0nce, cause its lag . (=

I f0und all the sad and meaningful lyrics t0 p0st here .

Find it interesting . Kinda 0f feelings I'm feeling right n0w . The em0ti0ns I been thru .

When I'm With Y0u .
I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count when I'm with you
Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out
Wishin I was by your side
Cuz when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life
When I'm with you I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you
When ever you're not around
When I kiss you I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made

L0ve F00l .
Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing
That I can do to make you do
So I cry, I pray, and I beg
Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you
Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake an I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
As long as you don't go
Love me, love me
Fool, fool me
Love me, love me I can't care about anything but you

Take A Bow .
Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech out
How about a round of applause
A standin' ovation

Tongue Tied .
Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?
I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?
I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

Hate That I Love You .
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so..
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that
I Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I hate that I love you so--
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you

L00k What Y0u've D0ne .
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Big Girls Don't Cry .
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you
like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Dont cry, Dont cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps til I'm full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I forseek the dark ahead if I stay
I'll be your best friend
And you'll be my valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
Cuz I wanna hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers
and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself in center,clarity, peace, serenity

I Will Be .
There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Coz you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, coz you're here with me
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
Coz without you I can sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah...And without you I don't know what I'll do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, did you see?
You're all I need
And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Coz you keep me from falling apart

G00dbye .
Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted,
In a corner crying, pardon me if I don't show it
I don't care if I never see you again I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone
Cut my hair 'cuz it reminded me of you
I know you like the long 'do,
Had to switch my attitude up
Thinkin' of changing up how I ride, No more
On the passenger side too bad
You miss out on the way that I drive it
I don't care if I never see you again I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone

Baby Don't Go .
Meanwhile I'm sittin at home, all alone
Tryin to keep myself from goin crazy
When I'm in the house, when I think about
When I see you out, when I hear about {T-Pain}
I want my baby back! {'Lo-so}
And I thought it would be easybut it's hard for me to let you GO~!
(Baby don't) GO! (Baby don't) go!(Baby don't) go (baby don't) {y'all know what this is}
Now I'm better than your ex, gon' be better than your next
Baby Screwed Up so you better be from Tex-as
It's okay to lose your pride over someone you love
Don't lose someone you love though over your pride
Stick wit'cha entree and get over your side
We break up to make up at Jacob's baby
Her parents fought too, I'm the makeup baby
Wake up baby, love'll have you open though

A Little T00 N0t 0ver Y0u .
It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else
It's for the best, I know it isBut I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside and I turn around
You're with HER nowI just can't figure it out
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Memories supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong,
moving on
But I see you sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside and I turn around
You're with HER now
I just can't figure it out
Maybe I regret
Everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own
How I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand

G00d Girls G0ne Bad .
Easy for a good girl to go bad
And once we gone
Best believe we gone forever
Don’t be the reason
Don’t be the reason
You better learn how to treat us right
Cuz once a good girl goes bad
We die forever
It’s getting out of control
Finally I can’t take no more
He finds a letter on the stairs
Saying this is the end
I packed my bag and left with your best friend

Cry .
I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truely
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
Did it happen when we first kissed
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should never let you hold me baby
Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart
How did I get here with you, i'll never know
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

Battlefield .
Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battle-field
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)
Why does love always feel like..
Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag,
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like..
Why does love always feel like...
Why does love always feel like...
A battlefield, a battlefield..
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know
What we're fighting for

When You're Gone .
I always needed time on my own
I never thoughtI'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like yearswhen I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to knowis missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to says get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
I never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left are lyin' on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were meant for each other
I keep foreverI know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

Yesterday .

I just cant believe your gone
still waitin for mornin to come
when i see if the sun will rise,
in the way that your by my side
well we got so much in store
tell me what is it im reaching for
when were through building memories
i'll hold yesterday in my heartin my heart
they can take tomorrow
and the plans we made
they can take the music
that we never play
all the broken dreams
take everything
just take it away, but they can
never have yesterday
they can take the future
that we'll never know
they can take the places
that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away,but they can never have yesterday
you always choose to stay
I should be thankful for everyday
heaven knows what the future holds,
or least where the story goes
I never believed untill now
I know i'll see you again im sure
no its not selfish to ask for more
one more night one more day
one more smile on your face
but they cant take yesterday
they can take tomorrow
and the plans we made
they can take the music
that we never playall the broken dreams take everything
just take it away,but they can never have yesterday
they can take the future
that we'll never know
they can take the places
that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away,but they can never have yesterday
I thought our days would last forever
but it wasnt our destiny
cause in my mind we had so much time,but i was so wrong
no i can believe that
I can still find the strenghin the moments we made
I'm lookin back on yesterday

Always Be My Baby
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'll let you fly
'Cause I known in my heart
Our love will never die, no
You'll always be a part of me
I'am part of you indefinitely
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably, you'll be back again

Unfaithful .
Story of my life
Searching for da right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

I'm Y0urs .
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Thinking 0f Y0u .

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on where do I go
I guess second best is all I will know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
I was disgusted with myself
Was looking into...
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

Never Say Never .
Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without and just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of, together all the while
You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go
We're pulling apart
And coming together again and again
We're pulling apart
But we pull it together
Pull it together again

S0ber .
When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, never again
Broken down in agony just tryna find a fit

What Hurts The M0st .
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain
of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words
that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

C0mplicated .
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turning into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it

Y0u F0und Me .
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of Firs tand Amistad
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late.
You found me, you found me.
But in the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing hope
The only one who's ever known
Who I am, Who I'm not, Who I want to be
No way to know

Never Let Y0u G0 .
The rain, just never seems to bring the joy,
I feel the same everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part the hold you left the mark all that
I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breatha part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,I'd never let you go

Ap0l0gize .
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new - yeah yeah
I loved you with the fire red
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late whoa

Please D0n't Leave Me .
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is....broken
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean itI mean it, I promise
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.

L0ve Hurts .
Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
Love hurts, love hurts
Without love I won't survive

0ver Y0u .
Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I felt as if I was in way to deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

We Bel0ng T0gether .
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I did nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
I didn't know you
I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or even touch or even kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
Baby nobody else
We belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you're all on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
If you think you're lonely now
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell
I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody else
We belong together

Because 0f Y0u .
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that s weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it s empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

Always Getting 0ver Y0u .
You could never see it through my eyes
And I'm too tired to try
So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

L0ve St0ry .
And I said,"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princessIt's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said,"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head?
I don't know what to think-"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,"Marry me, Juliet.
You'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

N0 B0undaries .
Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever when you feel you've lost your way
What if my chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on!

Bleeding L0ve .
Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy
But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

P.S . I'm Still N0t 0ver Y0u .
I know we haven't spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I'll put em in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
So many things
I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on
But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you
Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don't have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no....
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget

Bye Bye .
This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
No, no, no
Mamas, daddys, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye
As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye
You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

I Stay In L0ve .
Baby, I stay in love with you
Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby I
Try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you dont' know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts and minds
And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like 'Oh well'
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon' act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all
What I wanna do is
Ride shot-gun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone

N0b0dy .
You Know I still Love You Baby
And it will never change
I want nobody nobody But You
I want nobody nobody But You

Y0u're N0t S0rry .
All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no ohhh
Looking so innocent,I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you babyLike I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, ohhh
You're not sorry no no ohhh
You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no ohhh
You're not sorry, no no ohhh

RAND0M

Yesterday was the ending and t0day is the beginning I start 0ver again . Y0u kn0w I can't . I'm n0t satisfy with the ending . I was expecting a happy ending between y0u and me . But whatever l0st is l0st, the feeling cann0t bring back anym0re . St0p acting like y0u care, st0p acting like y0u still l0ve me, st0p all this . Cause I kn0w this is ending y0u expected . I grant y0ur wish . The real reas0n y0u d0n't wanna see me is because y0u've been meeting her and decided t0 be with her when I act like a stupid idi0t f00l keep l0nging f0r y0u back . All that acting . Say y0u n0t free, Daddie ask y0u g0 h0me, Mummie call y0u, every Sat and Sun n0t free anym0re als0 all are just lies . I was very right fr0m the beginning . My sixth sense is very accurate and I believe in it a l0t, a l0t . I t00k nearly tw0 and a half years t0 get 0ver 0ld w0unds and the hurt my ex d0ne t0 me, and y0u t00k just weeks and even days t0 bl0wn me d0wn again . L0st the match . It's really hard f0r me t0 stand up and be str0ng again .
I'm s0 used t0 be having y0u by my side . Andn0w everything was cleared . There are certain Saturday (th0se when y0u didn't meet and c0ntact me) I th0ught we are still t0gether . And I will started t0 wait f0r y0ur message and even ph0ne calls ab0ut the meet up at night, and later after that I realize its just my illusi0n . The 0nly time y0u pick me up after w0rk is when I'm still w0rking in Ngee Ann City . 0nly that 0ne time y0u waited f0r me 0utside my sh0p . I was really surprise t0 see y0u 0utside my sh0p waiting f0r me . And after that I meet y0u at Cineleisure Cheers after w0rk with0ut fail . Everything changed after y0u went 0ut field, and I'm being transfer t0 0ther 0utlet, y0u kn0w I really h0pe I can see y0u 0utside my sh0p waiting f0r me instead 0f meeting y0u at t0wn .
If y0u really l0ve me, and is faithful, y0u w0n't be able t0 resist 0ther girls . But y0u did . Disapp0inting fact . I can take it when I get diapp0inted by y0u but I cann0t accept the fact that y0u're leaving, f0r g00d . Y0u destr0y the g00d imgine 0f y0u in my heart . When I realize I l0ve y0u deeply that is when y0u ch00se t0 let g0 . Am0ng all my ex, y0u're the 0nly 0ne I l0ve and care m0st and which hurt me the m0st .
When l0ve c0mes, grab it and let it g0 . I saw y0u, I th0ught I saw h0pe but then it was just a dream .
I h0pe I w0n't turn back n0 m0re . It's nice having y0u 0nce .
N0 message received, n0 call received .
H0ping f0r a miracle, but it seems that in my w0rld that is n0 miracle . Waiting f0r y0ur call . I never g0t the chance again .
Cause th0se em0ti0ns is t00 deep f0r me t0 hang 0n t0 .
Letting it 0ut w0uld be better . All th0se mem0ries is t00 deep f0r me t0 h0ld 0n .
I'm fighting hard f0r my happiness . All I can d0, I've already d0ne and tried . Instead I'm paying a price f0r it, a big price . Pride is g0ne . I was struggling . I've l0st this war . This is the biggest w0und I've received . And rejecti0n . But I still face it . At least I did . Unlike y0u, despite me being a girl fear rejecti0n still face it and what d0 y0u d0 ? Y0u hide and c0ward ar0und . This is my final time and chance t0 say all this . When I d0n't l0ve y0u s0 deeply, y0u say that I'm n0t l0ving . When I l0ve y0u wh0leheartly y0ur way 0f returning it is hurt me and I'm left with N0THING .
L0ve y0u deep deep, miss y0u big big, miss saying that t0 y0u .
Y0u make me wanna l0ve again after s0 many years . Y0u bring my laughter back which I l0st ar0und tw0 years ag0 . Y0u f0und my laughter again after s0 l0ng . Y0u're the 0nly pers0n that make me wanna l0ve and trust again . But yet, y0u're being cruel t0 take everything fr0m me . Y0u destr0yed everything . D0 y0u fcuking care ?
Maybe what y0u want in a R/S is sex 0r 0ther things, n0t l0ve, I just want l0ve . We t0tally d0 nt0 have that in this R/S .
Trust and lack 0f sense 0f security is an0ther weakness in 0ur R/S t00 .
I was very calm when I text and call y0u . H0ping t0 hear s0mething different . H0w I wish I g0t en0ugh c0urage t0 tell y0u h0w I feel 0ver the ph0ne . My heart still haven changed a bit, still beats very fast
Until I replied y0u s0mething if y0u l0ve me why w0uld y0u n0t wanting t0 meet me and c0ntact me ? And I d0n't wanna drag this 0n, I just want it t0 end peacefully .
I was very calm when y0u say y0u currently g0t s0me0ne already .
After hearing it, my heart pass me the message saying that I still l0ve y0u . But was breaking d0wn deep inside .
But I guess its n0t w0rth it anym0re, despite I'm trying t0 salvage this R/S . At least I kn0w I've tried and I've t0 let g0 n0w .
And like what I say, I w0n't disturb y0u anym0re . Means I w0n't, ever again .
After y0u left me, I didn't watch m0vie and g0 t0wn f0r nearly 0ne m0nth ?
N0w I finally kn0w s0mething . In a R/S, it d0es n0t mean y0u l0ve and trust that pers0n wh0leheartly, y0u will get the same thing in return . I w0n't be s0 SERI0US and w0n't be seri0us in R/S and trusting pe0ple again . The trust is l0st, f0r g00d . The fact is it is n0t trust we are lack 0f, we lack 0f misc0mmunicati0n . We always kept quiet whenever we g0t s0mething in mind but d0es n0t tell each 0ther . If 0nly we c0mmunicate en0ugh, we w0n't be in this state n0w, PERHAPS ?
Perhaps I will even stay single f0r a very l0ng time 0r even the rest
Guess this time I'll leave quietly . Disappear f0r g00d .
Treasure th0se mem0ries . Y0're always 0n my mind . I hate myself f0r being s0ft hearted . I hate myself f0r l0ving y0u . I hate myself f0r n0t d0ing anything fr0m st0pping y0u t0 leave . I hate myself f0r being like this . I hate myself f0r being s0 timid and weak here . I hate myself f0r being adamant . I hate myself . I hate myself t0 the c0re .
I need t0 pick up my em0ti0ns and stay str0ng again .
Life still g0es 0n . It's n0t the end 0f the day f0r me .
Even y0u have decided t0 left me, I'll give y0u my blessings f0r y0u and her .
I d0n't want t0 t0wn, I d0n't want t0 g0 h0me late, I d0n't want t0 watch m0vies, everything 0f this makes me thinks 0f y0u . Till n0w, y0u're the 0nly pers0n I l0ve the m0st am0ng all my ex bf and hurt me m0re than what my ex d0ne t0 me . And willing t0 f0rgive and f0rget and think a l0t and be brave 0f .
Perhaps I'll f0rget y0u sl0wly .
Perhaps she is a l0t better than me, a l0t l0ving than me, a l0t prettier than me, a l0t perfect than me and everything y0u ever wanted in a girl and relati0nship . I g0t n0thing m0re t0 say . Y0u g0t y0ur new life, I 0nly c0uld give y0u my blessing . As l0ng as y0u're happy, I'll be happy f0r y0u t00 . Cause I l0ve y0u, and I want y0u t0 be REALLY HAPPY . And n0t pretending t0 be happy . Since y0u can d0 a l0t f0r her and she c0uld d0 s0 much f0r y0u and I can't d0ne anything f0r y0u . T0 y0u, I'm such a useless pers0n, such a failure . I always try my best t0 ... But I'm never g00d en0ugh ...
All I was h0ping f0r was a miracle that never exist .
Even y0u say this y0urself, the l0ve between me and y0u, y0u and her is different . All this while, I l0ve y0u f0r wh0 y0u are, I did n0t expect y0u t0 change .
But s0meh0w, I still expect f0r s0mething that w0n't happen 0r exist anym0re . But I kn0w we just can't be t0gether anym0re . We can't be what each 0ther wanted t0 be . 0ur expecti0ns in this R/S is t0tally different . When y0u're lying, what are y0u thinking inside y0ur heart ?
D0 y0u kn0w that the truth will be 0ut 0ne day eventually ? When y0u're telling 0ne lie, y0u're using 10 lies t0 c0ver it up . W0rth it ?
Y0u lack 0f sense 0f security and faithfulness . Y0u're just a player in R/S . Finally after d0ing s0 much, I g0t n0ne 0f y0ur l0ve . I either g0t all 0f y0ur l0ve 0r n0ne 0f y0ur l0ve . In the end, I g0t n0ne .
I guess this time it really is g00dbye .
You made it clear when y0u said that . >>>> I just d0n’t l0ve y0u n0 m0re .
N0w I kn0w l0ve is n0t imp0rtant, t0 me n0w 0nly m0ney is imp0rtant .
It is n0t meant t0 be . Numb the pain . Numb my heart . Numb me . I want t0 party till I f0rget . I wanna get drunk till I f0rget . Best is can l0st my mem0ry .
And I w0n't l00k f0rward anything fr0m y0u ANYM0RE . HAVE A G00D AND HAPPY LIFE .
I n0 l0nger interested in CUTE guys with g00d l00ks and b0ds and I h0pe I can like girls ... I wish I can be a les, instead .
L0ngest p0st ever . I swear . Last p0st ab0ut y0u .

It been a l0ng time since I went t0 watch m0vie and g0 t0wn after this messy breakup .
Maybe I did n0t d0 a l0t 0f great things f0r y0u, d0 n0t l0ve y0u a l0t like s0meb0dy did, but I still decide t0 give this R/S and y0u chances again and again .
What y0u say really still haunts me, I think ab0ut that alm0st everyday and tears will r0ll d0wn my cheeks .
I c0uld 0nly say I hate myself f0r l0ving y0u . Aishiteru, sarang haey0, i l0ve y0u, aku cinta padamu, & w0 ai ni . N0 l0nger f0und in my dicti0nary .
I'll pretend we never kn0wn each 0ther . :) Best ending f0r y0u and f0r me .
Girls 0ften d0n't mean what they say when they're angry . I'm glad and pr0ud 0f myself f0r being s0 brave t0 find the c0urage t0 tell y0u h0w I feel alth0ugh I was t0 expecting t0 tell y0u face t0 face, at least y0u w0n't see me crying in fr0nt 0f y0u . Last respect . L0ve is n0t a gift which y0u can give t0 any0ne y0u like .
EVERYTHING CAN C0ME T0 AN END . =D
G00DBYE L0VE .
G00DBYE MR N .
G00DBYE MR HAPPY .
G00DBYE BF(EX) .
G00DBYE BABY .

G00DBYE . =)

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Losing Someone
Death
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Looked down on
Disappointment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

X0X0 . =)

(:

2009-09-06T00:51:00.002+08:00

Xoxo . (: <3

FINAL P0ST

2009-09-03T11:01:00.016+08:00

Its been s0me time since I p0st ph0t0s .
I want t0 bl0g !
S0 many things t0 bl0g .
0ff day, I decide t0 r0t at h0me and stick t0 my PSP and deskt0p . (:
Was bl0g h0pping, there are s0 many girls wh0 is a l0t lucky than me . They've everything .
Like l0ve, friends, m0ney, but I g0t n0thing . S0unds pathetic . Self pity .

Wa, PCD figure is s0 h0t, they're the b0dy that kills ! N0 w0nder s0 many guys are crazy ab0ut them . L0ls .
I watch their MV . They s0 h0t !
My c0lleague says that all their lingerie is sp0ns0r by Vict0ria Secret f0r a lifetime !

Love Zodiac Profile- Taurus

If you are Taurus:
You are an extremely gentle and caring lover. You are totally loyal in your relationships. You prefer to be in a serious relationship. You are a very understanding lover. You love to be pampered by your loved one. At times, you get very possessive about your partner. Your partner loves you for the intimacy and affection you show. You are a tender lover and do not show too much aggression. You tend to be open in your relationships. You do not hide things from your partner and expect the same in return.

Your kissing style:
Your kisses are very soft and memorable. You love to proceed in a slow manner.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
cook great food for you, pamper you, be dependable and honest, etc.

You are more compatible with - Leo, Scorpio, Virgo, Capricorn
You are less compatible with - Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries

The bel0w I g0nna p0st is ab0ut Mr N .St0ries 0f me and Mr N .
Y0u might n0t see this p0st 0r y0u might .
Whether y0u did see leaves t0 fate .
It d0esn't matter anym0re, its just f0r y0u t0 see .
Everything c0me s0 far, but it's still t0wards the ending .
Th0ugh the st0ry is sh0rt but I like the st0ry line between y0u and me .

Why y0u are hurting me s0 deeply and I still l0ve y0u ?
That the p0wer 0f l0ve, I guess . I l0ve y0u wh0leheartly but g0t shit in return .
I th0ught y0u were different fr0m 0ther guys . But y0u're same like 0ther jerks and assh0le . I been giving y0u a l0t 0f chances, but ended up with disapp0intment, tears, and unhappiness . Y0u always t00k me f0r granted . Y0u d0n't deserve my tears . Y0u d0n't deserve my l0ve . Y0u lied again and again . Alth0ught I kn0w y0u lie, I still trust and l0ve y0u . But I g0t n0thing back in return just a br0ken heart . F0r y0ur sake, I'm f0rgive and f0rget . But I am n0t this pers0n anym0re . Been s0ft hearted t0wards y0u, but this time I must n0t .
0kays, let's be fair . I lie t0 y0u ab0ut s0mething t00 . J is n0t my friend . J is 0nly my fantasy, my imginative best guy friend . I lie because I wanted all y0ur attenti0n and all y0ur l0ve and heart . And we will quarrel because 0f this . S0unds stupid . But sl0wly y0u begin n0t t0 care . I been finding chances t0 tell y0u but later I decided n0t t0 clarify with y0u .
H0nestly I can say that I have m0re sadness than happiness .
But ... I still l0ve y0u, n0 matter h0w y0u hurt me but in the end y0u ch00se t0 give up and left me with0ut a w0rd . Perhaps y0u g0t new GF . I d0n't kn0w and d0n't wish t0 kn0w anym0re, it will cause m0re pain if I kn0w . Y0u always kept quiet, n0t saying anything .
There are s0 many things I still wanna tell y0u . I wanna hug y0u s0 much . I wanna meet y0u s0 much . I d0ubt we will meet again . The reas0n I ask y0u t0 meet 0ut is because I h0pe t0 see and hug y0u f0r the last time . And pass y0u the present which is supp0se t0 be y0ur birthday present . Supp0se t0 give it t0 y0u 0n y0ur birthday but we have t00 much misunderstanding between us that time .
But I guess y0u d0 n0t need it anym0re cause y0u already g0t 0ne . I can't bear t0 delete y0ur messages, and 0ur ph0t0s . But I've t0 . And I've deleted everything, I d0 n0t want t0 think ab0ut y0u anym0re, seri0usly .

I was 0nce a happy girl . And that is en0ugh f0r me . Desprite
I miss hearing y0u calling me Miss Unhappy, y0u'll always be my MR HAPPY, MR N . N0w whenever I see th0se c0nversati0n we used t0 chatted in MSN, I'll still smile, find it very sweet, but my tears will start t0 r0ll d0wn my cheeks .
The MSN c0nversati0n we chatted still makes me smile . I will still l00k at it alm0st every time when I'm 0nline . I will think ab0ut y0u . Its y0u I wanted s0 much .
Alth0ught it ended, but everyday I been praying f0r miracles . H0ping t0 see y0ur message and praying that y0u w0uld call me . The m0re I wanted it t0 happen, it w0n't happen .
Y0u're the type 0f guy, expect pe0ple t0 tell y0u h0w they feel, what they want . I just h0pe y0u kn0w everything instead 0f me telling y0u . I d0ubt we can be t0gether again .
N0w I finally kn0w why y0u wanted t0 av0id me s0 much, y0u d0n't wish t0 c0ntact me and meet me s0 much . The main reas0n is because y0u d0n't l0ve me anym0re . Y0u kept quiet perhaps y0u're scare 0f facing me and d0 n0t kn0w h0w t0 tell me .
If y0u wanna give up 0n me, just tell me, let me give up 0n y0u, and n0t give me h0pe and I will still think I've g0t h0pe and keep trying .
But y0u really changed a l0t c0mpare t0 the previ0us y0u, the 0ne wh0 have n0t enter NS yet . If I can ch00se, I w0uld want the 0ld, nerdy y0u instead 0f a ____ n0w .
But n0w I sh0uld be feeling happy cause I d0n't have t0 w0rry and think ab0ut s0me0ne wh0 d0n't deserve it and thinking that pers0n w0uld betray me .
I w0n't cry anym0re, my eyes is sw0llen and red f0r days . And pe0ple keep asking if I g0t eye infecti0n 0r did y0u just cry . I've n0 eye infecti0n, I guess . But I cried . And I guess the main reas0n is because I w0re c0ntact lens f0r m0nths .
Break d0wn a l0t 0f times at w0rk, can't c0ntr0l myself . D0 y0u kn0w ? Y0u kn0w n0thing .
Whenever I listen t0 the transf0rmers s0ng I w0uld think 0f y0u, cause it was transf0rmers m0vie that br0ught us back again . Fr0m n0w 0n, I w0n't get t0 watch m0vie and g0 h0me late anym0re . Back t0 my em0 l0nely w0rld . I w0n't g0 t0wn that 0ften, reminded me t00 much 0f y0u .
I d0 n0t kn0w when y0u tell me y0u l0ve me, y0u're seri0us 0r just faking it .
It's time f0r y0u t0 gr0w up and treasure the pe0ple ar0und y0u and be h0nest and true .
I think y0u're very immature . All y0u d0 is lie, lie, lie like a 3 years 0ld kid .
Y0u sh0uld start learning t0 l0ve y0urself first bef0re l0ving s0me0ne .
And I've learnt t0 stay str0nger in this R/S . I have learnt that when y0u l0ve s0me0ne wh0leheartly, the pers0n might n0t d0 the same in return and w0n't be faithful .
I guess I w0n't be hearing fr0m y0u and get t0 see y0u again .
Y0u hurt me deep, I will rememeber y0u f0r life ~ !
Last but n0t least .
I miss y0u . I still want t0 meet y0u and c0ntact because I still care . Y0u will never kn0w, y0u always think I'm such a bad and l0usy GF, I'm n0thing and such a l0ser in y0ur eyes . Y0u treated me like shit . I kn0w y0u w0n't care anym0re . I w0n't say much either .
Perhaps t0 y0u, my wish is t00 hard t0 difficult t0 be granted, I just want y0u t0 be faithful .
Anyways, last l0ng with y0ur new GF . Thanks f0r everything and the w0nderful mem0ries .
I might need a l0nger time t0 get 0ver the w0und and hurt .
Y0u're the 0nly pers0n wh0 I dare t0 say what I wanna say in fr0nt 0f y0u, y0u're the 0nly pers0n wh0 I dare t0 be brave 0f .
I'll never get t0 see y0u again . Maybe its my fault . Perhaps I'm being t00 selfish ?
Heart feels s0 numb right n0w . I w0n't waste my time waiting f0r y0u anym0re . Y0u are just n0t w0rth it . Y0u might n0t w0rth it n0w, but I'll always remember hard that I 0nce l0ve y0u s0 deeply and the feeling is irreplaceable .
KN0W Y0U'RE HAPPIER THAN BEF0RE . After this p0st, we will n0 l0nger bel0ngs t0 each 0ther . We will might n0t meet and c0ntact each 0ther . I guess I will n0t get t0 see y0u 0r c0ntact y0u ever again . As l0ng as y0u're happy, I'm happy t00 ! I might need a l0nger time t0 get 0ver it . But I h0pe y0u can d0 s0mething f0r me, delete my MSN acc0unt, and pretend n0t kn0wing each 0ther if we happen t0 meet in the streets, this time I wanna give up wh0leheartly . _____ y0u always ! I will upl0ad the ph0t0 we taken here, if bl0gger d0es n0t went insane again . First and last ph0t0 ever ! Treat it as a mem0ry . I will upl0aded y0ur ph0t0 t00 . But I will delete everything after that . S0 that I w0n't be reminded 0f y0u . I d0n't mean anything here . Either d0 I hate y0u .
The last final g00dbye . Farewell . All the best ! Take care always !

Switching t0 LiveJ0urnal fr0m n0w 0nwards . But if I want, I might still bl0g here ! (:
LJ d0es n0t have tagb0ard, y0u can c0mment me there and tag at my tagb0ard here ! I will still c0me back here and check 0n my bl0g . (= L0ves y0u peeps ! xoxo

Xoxo