* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diaryIf 0nly i am fated t0 l0ve y0u .

Thursday, April 30, 2009 ( 4/30/2009 08:10:00 PM )

L0ve, d0n't kn0w h0w t0 describe it .

L0ve is n0t simple .

L-0-V-E is n0t f0r me .
If 0nly ... We are fated .

S0 many m0vies t0 catch, s0 little time .

:

1. Friday the 13 th

2. Fast And Furi0us 4

3. 17 Again

4. Handsome Suit

5. X-Men 0rigins: W0lverine

6. Kn0wing

Very lazy t0 buy cl0thes .
I've a l0t 0f cl0thes, when i mean a l0t, it means the wh0le wardr0be ! Its full . Lazy t0 spend m0ney als0 .

Addicted t0 Fated t0 L0ve Y0u dramas ! Very t0uching and nice ! =)

C

Labels: If 0nly i am fated t0 l0ve y0u .

The diaryL0ngs f0r perfect . (:

( 4/30/2009 12:01:00 AM )

Sians, t0tally shag . Sighs ); Life sucks . Life is s0 miserable . Life is stressful .
Especially when i tend t0 take things seri0usly . I d0n't really take j0kes .
S0metimes, t00 seri0usly .
Just g0tten my pay, but it's t00 little . Diet, diet, diet . Way t0 g0 !

I hate myself s0 much f0r all the mistakes i have make all these years .
:
N0t being a g00d daughter
N0t being a g00d gf - n0t cherishing relati0nships .
N0t being a g00d friend
N0t being a g00d student - n0t studying well .
N0t being a g00d sister
N0t girlie en0ugh . N0t friendly en0ugh . N0t p0pular . N0t prettier . N0t saving up f0r the future .
I think i have m0re bad p0ints than g00d p0ints . I d0ubt i have any g00d p0ints .

0h my . This s0und insane . I slept at ab0ut 3 am t0 be extactly it sh0uld be ar0und 2.35 am 0n 27 April . Trying t0 s0rt 0ut and delete all my 0ld friendster acc0unts . I have numer0us 0f it . Can't c0unt . I must be crazy f0r having s0 many acc0unts in the past . N0w i 0nly left with tw0, and is en0ugh . Still deciding whether sh0uld i keep b0th 0r just 0ne 0r ab0nd0n b0th . Sick 0f friendster ! S0 lame ! Just add and pm pe0ple, b0ring .

Stress ~ !
G0ing twentysssssss s00n . Hitting the 2os s00n . Arghhh ! 0ld .

Happiness seems s0 far and hard f0r me . SIGHS ): Accept my fate . Life seems s0 hard f0r me .

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: L0ngs f0r perfect . (:

The diarySuper rand0m p0st .

Monday, April 27, 2009 ( 4/27/2009 12:10:00 AM )

Friendster unglam ph0t0s deleted .
New wishlist in bl0g .

Check list checked !

Feel like t0uching cigarettes again .
Arghhh my mind is empty whenever i l0g in t0 bl0gger . Damn it !
Sh*t i f0rget my passw0rd f0r wireless @ SG h0w am i g0ing t0 use it t0 surf the net at w0rk ? Damn, damn, damn .

I want t0 travel ~ !
I want m0re m0ney ! $$$
I want DKNY and CK bag and watch ! 0h-s0-ex-pen-sive . Ha !
I want Casi0 g0ld watch !
I want dresses !
I want stress-free !
I want happiness !
I want better skin !
I want t0 bec0me m0re ME !
I want MR PERFECT !
0kays, the last 0ne is a lie . A white lie, cause MR PERFECT d0es n0t exists .

0h 0h, m0ther's day is appr0aching and i am n0t sure what t0 get f0r my dearest Mummie . ;)

Wasn't in a very g00d m00d recently, half 0f it is because 0f the sales is n0t d0ing g00d . And i feel stress . The 0ther half is because i suspect i've depressi0n .
Its a bad news !
It been 1o1 days since i heard fr0m him !

Ever w0nder h0w y0ur childh00d was like ? Well, i d0n't really have a g00d childh00d . It n0t that my parents mistreated me, it just that my parents didn't buy me t0ys !
I 0nly can remember bits and pieces 0f it, my grandpa used t0 take us (me, my sister and br0ther) t0 the playgr0und and he w0uld buy us l0llip0p and sweets drinks in secret with0ut letting my Mummie kn0w, cause she d0n't like grandpa keep buying sweet thing f0r us and its addictive . But i missed th0se days s0 much . Unf0fortunately we n0 l0nger a kid and we d0n't stay near grandpa, if n0t can see him everyday . Kinda 0f miss him, afterall he's 0ld . Hard f0r him t0 travel ar0und .
I used t0 hate them (my parents)s0 much in the past f0r being braised t0 my silblings but n0t n0w anym0re, its just misunderstanding between us, i knew they care ab0ut me, and they th0ught that i am the eldest s0 they didn't have t0 sh0wer all the l0ve 0n me, but n0w i grew up, i kn0w cause i kn0w h0w t0 take care 0f myself and be independent 0n my 0wn . =) I n0 l0nger hated them but they're still being braised . But i understand everything, parents have t0 be equal, their l0ve have t0 be shared am0ng the 3 0f us and its n0t easy . Y0u kn0w, as y0u gr0w 0lder y0ur thinking gets mature . I've very str0ng sense 0f jeal0usy .

I remember i used t0 have a childh00d guy friend wh0 stay in the same bl0ck as me which my Mummie t0ld me, i t0ld her i can't remember a thingy . She add 0n: "N0r last time y0u b0th everytime g0 t0 tuti0n and g0 h0me t0gether des l0rs . " I saw him that day with my Mummie and Sister 0n the day which i treat my Mummie t0 eat, he's s0 tanned, he definite is n0t my MR PERFECT alth0ught he is my childh00d friend . Ha ! I can't even remember him ! His name is Zi Liang, i think . L0ls . Lets call him Mr Blackie/The Charc0al Man instead . Hees ! =D

I am unique, i've my 0wn thinking . I am independent . D0n't label with 0ther girls y0u see 0n the streets . I swear i am different . =)

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: Super rand0m p0st .

The diaryLife sh0uld have n0 regrets .

Saturday, April 18, 2009 ( 4/18/2009 12:06:00 AM )

Its 12.o7 am, Saturday and its time f0r me t0 sleeeeeeepppppppppp . =p
I just finished typing the previ0us and that is yesterday's p0st . HAHA, W0LS = SL0W . (;
I think i might c0ntinue typing when i wake up, g0ing 0ut with Mummie and Sister later . W0nder where are we heading . They have n0 plans YET .
=)

See ya later ! =D
Miss me ! :)
T, i miss y0u .

This p0st is edited . =) Updating in pr0cess .

L0ading ... 1oo%

I have waited g0t s0me0ne f0r years . And i hate t0 wait again .
I always c0ns0le myself by telling myself that y0u might be back again 0ne day, asking t0 be with y0u again . N0 matter h0w l0ng i'll always wait f0r y0u .
But n0w i am g0ing t0 give up . I kn0w i n0 l0nger exists in y0ur w0rld and i mean n0thing t0 y0u . But t0 me, y0u're s0 imp0rtant . I always th0ught that i c0ld f0rget y0u easily . But y0u have already been a part 0f my life . Even n0w, whenver i think ab0ut y0u, i will still cry . The feeling is very terrible . I will think ab0ut y0u bef0re g0ing t0 sleep every night, causing me t0 l0se sleep . Y0u ch0se t0 give up n0w and n0t turning back anym0re . And i kn0w its 0ver . We b0th changed, s0 much . We can't turn back time, either . Maybe the time is n0t right 0r we are just n0t meant t0 be . If there is a crack in a glass, n0 matter h0w hard y0u try t0 salvage it, the crack will still be there . Same g0es f0r the l0st, missing l0ve . N0 matter h0w hard i try t0 salvage 0r amend it, y0u n0 l0nger l0ngs f0r me .
Maybe i sh0uld st0p w0rrying .
But ...
S0me0ne like me d0n't deserve t0 be l0ved, in a relati0nship, t0 l0ve s0me0ne .
And ...
A jerk like him d0esn't deserve my l0ve anym0re . He can better 0ff die .
My faulth f0r l0sing y0u . N0 regrets anym0re .
ALL THE BEST !

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: Life sh0uld have n0 regrets .

The diaryC0mplicated .

Friday, April 17, 2009 ( 4/17/2009 05:40:00 PM )

T0day is friday, and i am 0ff t0day as well as t0m0rr0w, yes, a saturday . (;

I t00k 0ut all my ear studs 0ut when i was w0rking yesterday, 0nly t0 find 0ut that my ear's flesh is bleeding, its disgusting, and it stinks 0kays . All 15 studs t0 all0w my ear have a rest . Perhaps t0m0rr0w i will put everything back, hahas . Mummie is sc0lding me f0r this . She all0wed t0 0nly wear 0ne pair, but i've m0re than 0ne pair and they have been with me f0r years h0w c0lud i bear t0 cl0se them ? They're my l0ve .
Living in my 0wn w0rld ; The way i live my life .

Its Shar0 Jie Jie's 2oth birthday t0day ! (;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

May all y0ur wishes c0me true ! =D

As pr0mised, i treat my Mummie t0 eat Cafe Cartel . Well, its quite reas0nable, the f00d is quite nice . (; L0ve it, will g0 there again . I treat Sister t00 . (; Urghhhhh, that m0nster . My neighb0ur is a real BIG m0nster, i hate their M0NSTER family ! =F*

Mummie br0ught me a new specs, need t0 wear it t0 w0rk, and likely lesser make-up, i 0nly get t0 wear my c0ntacts 0n alternate days . I can't wear them everyday as i have virus inside my eyes . 0uch ! N0 w0nder i feel my eyes very dry and red, and gets tired easily when i am n0t tired at all .

S0me0ne wh0 is successful must have s0me0ne behind t0 give the pers0n supp0rt he wanted . Even if he g0t everything, with0ut the supp0rt he needed, he is n0thing in 0ther pe0ple's eyes .

-R0se are girls sweetest drug .

-L0ve is n0t a playing game .

-Never blame y0urself, but the blame 0n s0me0ne else .

-S0me things are better left unsaid and unkn0wn .

0ne thing is true, that f0r sure . Fate is being decided by g0d, y0u can't escape fate . I believe in fate . Miracles d0es n0t exist . Miracles 0nly exist f0r th0se wh0 believe .

All these years the 0nly pers0n wh0m i l0ve is y0u . I STILL can't get 0ver y0u . Y0u're my l0ve . Y0u're the 0nly pers0n wh0 i think ab0ut the future . That is s0 much that i wanna tell y0u, but y0u're g0ne, n0 l0nger mine, y0u left me . F0r g00d ... T, i miss y0u, but y0u've change s0 much, n0 l0nger the g00d b0y i 0nce kn0wn . I hardly rec0gnise y0u n0w . Y0u are freaking scary . I miss the 0ld y0u, the 0ld us, 0ur R/S . Sighs, its been s0 l0ng, my friend t0ld me t0 f0rget him, i agree . But wh0 ask me t0 l0ve him . A jerk like him d0esn't my l0ve anym0re . My friend als0 t0ld me that i deserve a better b0y . Well, i d0n't intend t0 like any0ne anym0re . But just him ... I think i'm still waiting f0r him, maybe 0ne day he might his mind ? S0unds s0 silly, i kn0w . But we b0th kn0w, its 0ver . I am still dwelling 0n it . N0t willing t0 f0rget and give up .

I 0nly g0t 0ne eye candy . (; He's cute ! That n0t like 0r l0ve, kind 0f like puppy l0ve, crush 0r (whatever-y0u-call-it.)

What the use 0f having s0 many friends when they 0nly l00k f0r y0u when they need t0 ask y0u t0 d0 s0mething ? I hate that type 0f pe0ple .

Dummy girl was here .

END .

Labels: C0mplicated .

The diaryEdited .

Sunday, April 12, 2009 ( 4/12/2009 10:27:00 AM )

Special thanks t0 the p0lice wh0 arrive 0n time, manage t0 catch the lady wh0 sell imitati0n perfume t0 me, and g0t back my m0ney . Thank g0d t00 ! (;
I was very w0rried and scare at that very m0ment . But i am still w0rry that she might c0me back f0r revenge .
But its her fault f0r selling this type 0f pr0ducts . I swear i am n0t g0ing t0 get cheap g00ds ever again .

My main c0ncern n0w is t0 be nice t0 my family and care ab0ut their needs m0re than mine . Earn m0re m0ney t0 supp0rt them and have a better life .

I been telling myself N times that i must save m0ney but n0 matter h0w i save, m0ney seems n0t t0 be in my bank acc0unt . );

I am lazy t0 p0st pictures . A bl0g with0ut pictures is b0ring . (: I kn0w .

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: Edited .

The diaryDuped idi0t .

Thursday, April 9, 2009 ( 4/09/2009 11:42:00 AM )

H0w will y0u feel like if y0u are being duped ?
Damn pissed, s0me0ne cheated me my feelings and my m0ney . Bl00dy hell .
5o bucks and tell me its original g00ds, i buy because the pers0n say is 0riginal and wareh0use rejected g00ds .
But beware pe0ple d0n't trap f0r the same as me !
I br0ught the DKNY delici0us and get a Ralph Lauren f0r free . Damn n0 w0nder it s0unds like g00d deal cause its imitati0n g00ds .
Just want n0 tr0ubles, just want my m0ney back and case cl0sed . As simple as that . As simple as ABCs .
Idi0t b*tch .
And the p0lice is s0 idi0t as well, being asked t0 d0 s0mething, still can be unhappy and say vuglar w0rds . Nabei* is the w0rds c0me fr0m 0ut fr0m y0ur m0uth . The p0lice w0rks at a low efficiency here . I can't trust them 0r ask them t0 d0 things . T0 think we pay f0r the tax .

I was really a dumb girl, t0 think i sign up s0mething again . I h0pe i can get well s00n . (;
Its n0t cheapppppppppppppp .
Its 642 bucks, 0kays ? Sighs, i feel like killing myself f0r this .
Exactly 20 days t0 pay day, h0w am i g0nna survive ? DIE . P00r, p00r, p00r .

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: Duped idi0t .

The diary(:

Friday, April 3, 2009 ( 4/03/2009 10:38:00 AM )

Sh*t, damn tired, sleepy .
W0ke up super early t0day .

Current 0bsessi0n: Ak0n
Danger0us, beautiful .
English R & B .
It is always in my mind . & m0re ...

D0n't ask my name .
Ms C .
C is my NAME,
T is my L0VE .
G0d kn0ws that i am n0t g0ing t0 l0ve s0me0ne again .
Y0u shall remind in my heart f0rever .
I ____ Y0U f0rever .
Fcuk sia .

Music is my passi0n . N0 music will die .

Mummie br0ught me t0 g0 f0r a haircut as pr0mised, BANGS !
But luck is 0n my side, the auntie needs t0 g0 t0 temple t0 pray, she will be back by aftern00n .
Suddenly i change my mind ab0ut cutting bangs, i might n0t be cutting .
I am c0nfused . I am w0rry 0f l00king like a kid 0r acting cute f0r my age, and i am getting 0lder . (; Haas .

I c0uld feel the fat burning inside my b0dy, its a g00d sign, its sh0ws that its w0rking ! (; I am fat !!! &^?/*!%@t64985-3f

Life sh0uld be simple . As easy as ABCs & 123s .

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: (:

The diaryEM0 - EN0

Thursday, April 2, 2009 ( 4/02/2009 11:00:00 PM )

T0day is t0m0rr0w is my 0ff day .
Finally a tw0 day 0ff day after the l0ng wait .
And i have just changed my bl0g link . I spend a few ins0mnia night think ab0ut a new link . I d0ubt i am changing it again .

I think i did s0mething really stupid t0day . Stupidest ever .
I swear i am n0t g0ing t0 d0 it ever again .
I spend 3oo bucks ++ 0n s0mething . Signing up a treatment .
Guess what i have d0ne . Hahas . S0und s0 interesting . L0ls . Feel s0 br0ke n0w ! I g0nna just drink plain water and eat bread f0r the rest 0f the m0nth .

I wanna t0 slimmmmmmmmmmmmmm d0wnnnnnnnnnnnnn . F0r years, f0r m0nths, f0r weeks, f0r s00000 l0ng . N0w is the time, n0t waiting any further .

I swear i am a stupid girl .
N0t g0nna miss y0u 0r think 0f y0u .
Cause y0u n0 l0nger exist in my mind . The next 0ne will be a better 0ne .
But that is why i ch00se t0 be single f0r s0 l0ng, because 0f y0u . I have 0nly 0ne wish is if 0nly i can be with y0u, i will l0ve y0u m0re and treasure y0u .
But i have been thinking back, if we were still t0gether what c0uld we have been n0w ?

I want t0 cut BANG .
I want, i want, i want . Maybe t0m0rr0w I h0pe i can wake up early t0 exercise .

Katy Perry is s0 pretty, her fashi0n sense r0cks ! She l00ks s0 pretty with her big eyes, eye c0l0ur, l0ng black hair and BANGS ! =d
But i find her v0ice quite r0ugh, i d0n't quite like it . (;

An eye f0r an eye .
I believe that if y0u have d0ne bad things, g0d will handle y0u, y0u will receive retributi0n .
Trust me, its y0ur fate then . I d0n't kn0w y0u hate me s0000 much, w0nder what have i d0ne wr0ng in the first place . I did all my j0b 0n hands 0n time . Will never f0rget h0w "nicely" y0u have treated me !

W0nder why guys n0wadays are s0 vain . They trim their eyebr0ws, makeup, d0 manicure, pedicure, dress s0 girly and even wear access0ries like hairband . Damn disgusting . And i hate it . Why d0 y0u want t0 be vain like a girl when y0u are a guy ? Can't understand at all ...... This w0rld is changing, its turning upside d0wn . Hah ! I d0n't like guys wh0 are vain, cause they will l0ve themselves m0re than their GF . They will rather spend time thinking 0n h0w t0 l00k g00d instead 0f c0ncerning y0ur exists . Tell me this is truth if this applies t0 y0u as well, n0ne 0f my exs is vain t0 that extreme, alth0ught he l0ve his hair, but he cares ab0ut me as well . S0 i am lucky . (; But it is in the past . Get 0ver it . I will !

0KAYS, i'm tired, time f0r my beauty sleep . I am extreme VAIN . Haaz .
Shall update again when i am free . (;
By the way i am treating Mummie t0 eat t0m0rr0w, i h0pe i w0n't spend a b0mb !

EM0-IN
EM0 - EN0

=ELM0 ? =P

Nights ! Sweet tart !
Candies dreams .

Dummy girl was here .
END .

Labels: EM0 - EN0