* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diaryP0st f0r 0ne week .

Monday, September 28, 2009 ( 9/28/2009 10:50:00 PM )

Capric0rn (22 Dec - 1 Jan )

Sagittarius (22 N0v - 21 Dec )

Sc0rpi0 (23 0ct - 21 N0v )

Libra (23 Sep - 22 0ct )

Virg0 ( 23 Aug - 22 Sep )

Le0 ( 23 Jul - 22 Aug )

Cancer (21 Jun - 22 Jul )

Gemini ( 21 May - 20 Jun )

Taurus ( 20 Apr - 20 May )

Aries ( 21 Mar - 19 Apr )

Pisces ( 19 Feb - 20 Mar )

Aquarius (1 Jan - 18 Feb )

I find all this is very cute, s0 decided t0 p0st it here . ((:

21 Sep
Sales wasn't always g00d 0n M0nday .
Try n0t t0 l00k very sians at w0rk .
Even if I'm, have t0 pretend t0 be happy .
Alm0st l0st my life in a car accident, all thanks t0 a inc0nsiderate driver wh0 0vercut the bus driver's line . At first, I th0ught the bus driver kn0cked int0 a cat 0r g0d and even pe0ple d0wn . But actually its n0t, but luckily he step 0n the brake 0n time, if n0t s0mething unpredictable might happen . I was carrying sh0es p0ssible t0 transfer t0 my 0utlet h0me, s0 it's hard f0r me t0 balance myself pr0perly when accident happens . But I have a big blue black 0n my leg and it turn red, can see the veins, its hurts whenever I tried pressing it . he bl00d cl0ts, I guess . And it's damn Hari Raya . After Hari Raya, my life hasn't been better . I hate Hari Raya, s0 unlucky day f0r me . I swear that this year is my w0rst year ever . I alm0st g0t killed in the car accident, alm0st g0t kn0cked d0wn by car, fall in and 0ut 0f l0ve, l0st my j0b twice, br0ther being naughty . W0rst year ever . But luckily its t0wards the end 0f the year s00n, appr0aching year 2010 in just tw0 m0nths' time .

F0ur m0re m0nths' t0 Chinese New Year and Valentine Day, falls 0n 14 Feb, happen t0 be my In Charge's birthday .

Seven m0re m0nths' t0 my birthday and this time I'm even 0lder . ):

22 Sep
The w0unds I've yesterday hurts, affect my w0rk, I can't even kneel and even climb t0 take sh0es . It hurts .
Went h0me late, cause 0f an0ther inc0nsiderate l0rry parked at the side 0f the r0ad, bl0cking th way f0r the 0ther vehicle way t0 g0 . Reach h0me at ar0und 11 pm . Quite late, cause n0rmally I reach h0me at ar0und 10 pm plus . Damn th0se pe0ple wh0 never m0ve int0 the rear 0f the bus, causing 0ther pe0ple t0 g0 h0me late, they can m0ve in but bl0ck the way .

23 Sep
Sales have been really bad, 0nly 200 plus bucks and it's very quiet . Keep pushing, but cust0mer is either n0t buying 0r th0se wh0 wants t0 buy d0esn't g0t their sizes . H0w disapp0inting .

24 Sep
Luckily sales is average t0day, manage t0 d0 slightly better than the last few days . Been wanting t0 g0 clubbing, it been m0nths since I g0 . N0b0dy is steady, ask already, get same replied, n0 m0ney 0r pretend I never text them . Act blur pe0ple really fake . If y0u d0n't feel like g0ing, just let me kn0w, I hate it when pe0ple beat ar0und the bush . And I n0 l0nger wanted t0 c0ntact all 0f my friends . Cause whenever I'm sad 0r unhappy, n0b0dy kn0ws, and n0b0dy is there f0r me, I'm n0t l00king f0rward t0 a friendship happen this way .

25 Sep
Waiting f0r pay day . Life is alm0st the same just like the past . I w0n't want the l0ve back since I've already decided t0 give my heart t0 him . It been weeks 0r m0nth since we are separated . I've d0ne a g00d deed . Feels very happy . Gave up my seat t0 a elderly . Even helped himn t0 the seat . I guess a l0t 0f pe0ple especially Singap0rean will pretend t0 sleep 0r carry the newspaper 0r b00k they are reading higher than give up their seat t0 s0me0ne wh0 needs it m0re . Inc0ndsiderate pe0ple ! S0 angry ! ): Sales's n0t g00d f0r a Friday . Bus is quite empty when g0ing h0me, manage t0 get a seat . But the air c0n is freezing c0ld . Due t0 F1, every0ne went t0 catch F1 . Freaking tired . Even since 6 Sep, been waking been at 7.45 am everyday 0ther than 0ff days, f0r m0rning and full shift . Wanted t0 earn m0re m0ney when I still can, have already get used t0 it especially it can help t0 numb my w0unds, n0 matter h0w tired I'm, its w0rth it .

26 Sep
Em0, 0ut 0f sudden will think 0f unhappy m0ments again . Especially th0se times when we spend 0ur time 0utside Taka, we will play with each 0ther, talk, laugh t0gether and even kissed . I n0 w0ndered l0ngs f0r him . N0 l0nger think as much as bef0re . N0 l0nger want t0 see him . But my heart, still l0ve him ? I d0n't kn0w and I d0n't wish t0 kn0w the answer, cause it n0 l0nger imp0rtant t0 me . But every m0rning, I get heart ache, I d0n't kn0w why, perhaps because I already g0t used t0 see his message whenever I wake up . The feeling 0f wanting t0 see the message is there . N0w I g0t g0ne . Can't get used . I wish up0n the stars f0r him t0 be happy always . I h0pe he will never kn0w all the things I bl0gged here . =) L0ve truely hurts, w0rds fr0m him kills .

27 Sep

Sales is n0t g00d .

N0 matter what pe0ple say I want t0 be with y0u, but y0u still ch00se 0thers .
L0st with0ut y0u . D0n't let me g0 .
A mixture 0f s0ng lyrics . N0 0ther meaning, d0 n0t mean anything 0r refering t0 any0ne here .
Em0, em0, em0 . (: Life is back t0 a square 0ne .
New ph0ne, blackberry, any0ne ? Buy 0ne f0r me . =) L0ls .

28 Sep
0ff day 0n a M0nday is really sucky, I d0n't usually like M0nday 0ff, n0 ch0ice, cause Wednesday having st0ck take . Went t0 Bugis al0ne . Em0 .
And went h0me a few h0urs later .
Br0ught a few items, a t0p f0r Mummy, tw0 pairs 0f canvas sh0es, cap, sh0es f0r w0rk, sh0rts f0r sleeping . And n0t f0rgetting, I g0t my eyebr0w trimmed . Wa, I spend a l0t . My m0ney is g0ne, again . Sp0tted tw0 vintage bags I l0ve and wanted s0 much, and guess what its the c0l0ur I been l00king f0r, vintage br0wn, s0 0bsessed with it, g0nna get them 0n my upc0ming Sunday 0ff day . (:
N0t f0rgetting t0 g0 t0 temple and pray and saw H0ng Sheng . I was chatting 0n the ph0ne just 0utside the temple when I saw him with his friends ? N0t sure wh0, just say hi and he went in . Afterwhich, left the temple and c0ntinue with the sh0pping .

* _____ _____ *

Un wanted

Un l0ved

Un missed

Un happy

Celi0* b0ys is cute . But the way they see pe0ple is s0 weird . Especially the 0ne I admired fr0m far, l0ls . His smaile and he's my cup 0f tea . He is damn cute, cans ?
By the way Mr Justin fr0m Singap0re Id0l is cute . Epecially with his geek geek spec .
Geek b0ys, y0u've capture my heart . L0ls . That's just a j0ke . But I l0ve geeks . ((;

F1 R0CKS have 0fficially ended . My her0 is Lewis Hamilt0n and he've w0n the race in the 1st place . (: And last year he was in the 3rd place, this year is a g00d year f0r him . Been supp0rting him ever since last year . 0h damn, he's s0 cute and h0t . I can't believed that he actually w0n the race ! =) Damn, damn happy ! He l00k super happy in the live tv sh0w, he even jump jump like a little kid wh0 just receive a candy . L0ls .
P0rsche, lamb0rghini, mercedes mclaren and Ferrari is h0t, damn, my all time fav0urite . F1 R0CKS SINGAP0RE . L. HAM .

I'm s0 em0 . =) That is n0thing wr0ng with being em0 . Em0 w0n't kills . 0r em0 kills ?

Types 0f cust0mers I can't stand, fact is I hate w0rking in retail lines .

: attitude pr0blem pe0ple turns me 0ff . I didn't sp0lit y0ur day, b*tch . D0n't destr0y mine .

: yaya papaya . If y0u're rich, d0n't sh0p here, sh0p in LV 0r Chanel . =) I detest rich pe0ple since y0ung ! =D

: pretend n0t hearing anything . Act deaf . At least resp0nse .

Pr0ject runway and Amercian's next t0p m0del is my fav0urite tv sh0w ! (:
Can't wait f0r p0l0 b0ys t0 be 0n tv 0n 15 0ct at channel 5 ! =) H0t b0dy . Cute face . But I can't see, cause I need t0 w0rk, w0rk, w0rk .

Bye bye f0r n0w, cause I d0 n0t kn0w when I might bl0g again, I might and might n0t bl0g .
Charleen's faceb00k acc0unt might be cl0sing d0wn s00n .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Labels: P0st f0r 0ne week .

The diaryMy life .

Sunday, September 20, 2009 ( 9/20/2009 03:02:00 PM )

P0rk Ch0p - Mummy ate this . =)

Chicken Ch0p Rice - I ate this . (:

Fried N00dles ? N0t sure what it's . Sister ate this . =D F0rg0tten ab0ut what Aunt 0rder, Sister never take the ph0t0 .

My Cute Aunt & Cute Mummy . (:

Sisters with the same p0se . :0

L00k s0 faraway, the distance, I mean .

Ph0t0 0f me, 0nly, like finally . L0ls . Cute me .

My Cute Sister . ((=

Why the smile l00ks s0 fake ? That the reas0n why I d0n't like smiling sh0wing my teeth .

D0n't kn0w what happen t0 her, must be insane . L0l0ls .

L00k I'm s0 fat in this ph0t0 with d0uble chin, sians .

A decent ph0t0 0f me and Sister .

An0ther decent 0ne .

Tired, tired, tired . I need t0 sleep early fr0m n0w 0n .

W0ke up at 1.25 pm just n0w and slept at 3 am plus this m0rning .

Lately been sleeping f0r less than 7 h0urs .

S0metimes will sleep at ar0und 3 0r 4 am . Panda eyes is really dark .

W0rk was fine was fun d0metimes, g0t pe0ple entertain and make me smile . L0ls .

Yesterday w0rk m0rning shift, s0 after w0rk called Sister, ask them(Mummie, Aunt & Sister) where they were . It been a l0ng time since I g0 0ut with them . Atferwhich, meet them up at t0wn, l00k f0r them at Taka, walk pass my w0rk place at Ngee Ann City and see wh0 is w0rking, see them quite busy s0 never went t0 say hi .

And there's a M00ncake fair at Taka Square . S0 many m00ncakes ! (: S0 tempted !

I want ice cream m00ncake . Yummy .

Sister br0ught 0ne Ch0c0late m00ncake . And is n0t cheap, $6.5o .

I rather buy ice cream 0nes . I want t0 buy the 0nes in Fei Chui and Swensen ice cream's m00ncake .

After that we were deciding 0n what t0 eat, then they actually wanted t0 g0 Plaza Singapura K0pitiam again, everytime they g0 0rchard they will g0 there t0 have dinner .

Then Aunt and Mummy ask what we wanted t0 ask . I said why n0t eat s0mething m0re special ? Then I sugguested we eat Xin Wang H0ng K0ng Cafe in Cineleisure . In the end, Aunt treat us . =D Well, I hate g0ing t0 t0wn 0n Saturday .

As we walk 0ver there, I think ab0ut Mr N 0ut 0f sudden, if we were still t0gether, the pers0n g0ing there with me is n0t my family but him . D0n't understand, he said bef0re that he w0n't leave me cause he l0ve me a l0t but in the end he still decided t0 leave me . N0w I d0n't like g0ing there . Cause the place g0t t00 much 0f 0ur mem0ry . I need t0 st0p thinking ab0ut it . Better 0ff with0ut him . Release myself . L0ve, I guess I w0n't need that anym0re . Trust n0b0dy . Let me just bec0me a mem0ry 0f y0u as a dust . Let it fade in the air .

I kn0w that I am just a l0ve f00l . I feel sucha failure as a gf cause I can't d0 anything .I need y0u in my life . N0 matter what I have t0 d0, I will wait f0r y0u . I will be waiting .D0es he kn0w that I'm waiting ? D0es miracles exists ? Filled with disapp0intment and unhappiness .Y0u are the last pers0n pers0n I wanna l0ve f0r the rest 0f my life . Y0u are the last sh0ulder I wanna lie 0n . Y0u are the 0nly hands I wanna h0ld . Y0u are the last pers0n wh0 I wanna kiss . Y0u are the 0ne . Y0u are my happiness . N0w and f0rever .I wanna be a r0mantic gf f0r a day . I wanna l0ve y0u f0r this very time, this very m0ment . I wanna l0ve y0u till the w0rld dies . I wanna l0ve y0u f0r the very last time .N0 matter what I d0, I am n0t the best girl 0r gf y0u wanted . Happiness d0n't stay by my side, it always leaves me with unhappiness .I wanted t0 be l0ved t00 . Is that t00 much f0r me t0 ask ? Every0ne deserves t0 be l0ved . Mind is very vexed n0w . D0n't kn0w what I really want afraid might regret with my decisi0n . D0n't want live my life with regrets . I w0n't regret with my decisi0n f0r being with y0u .Unhappiness please g0 away . I need t0 try t0 be happy instead 0f faking my smile everyday . I d0n't even feel any slight happy at all . I am n0t thinking and waiting f0r y0u anym0re . I need t0 stay str0ng pls . A fresh st0ry ahead ? Y0u are n0t f0rg0tten . I can sense that y0ur l0ve is a lie .Same script, different cast .What is marriage ?What is everlasting l0ve ?What is the wedding v0w ?What is the engagement ring ?What is wedding g0wn ?What is marriage certifcate ?I knew n0thing . I d0n't wish t0 get marry .I 0nly kn0w pr0mises are meant t0 be br0ken .Even th0se v0ws y0u make 0n y0ur wedding day .Treasure l0ve, c0ward .I finally picked up my last bit 0f c0urage t0 refer t0 the messages he last send . Finally g0t the c0urage t0 read it again . Deleted but tears r0ll d0wn my cheeks again .Everytime when I think ab0ut him, I feel like cutting myself . I kn0w its n0t w0rth at least it c0uld help t0 numb my pain in the heart f0r awhile . It been very l0ng since I fall in l0ve and gets a heart break . I th0ught this time was different, but I still gets a heart break, time and time again . I am sick and tired 0f seeing hist0ry t0 be repeated again . It is really hard f0r me t0 take it . Heart still feels like needles p0king thru it a th0usand, milli0n times . Till its alm0st numb . All the mem0ries we 0nce have at 0rchard . I am just s0me0ne being treated like a t0y . When they want me, they l0ve me . And n0w that they have me, they aband0n me aside . N0w I finally understand h0w t0 keep all my em0ti0ns inside instead 0f letting it 0ut .

Even this Hari Raya makes me think 0f him, a l0t 0f things makes me link t0 him . It been s0 l0ng since I last heard fr0m him, be it a ph0ne call, a text message 0r seeing him 0nline . I hate myself f0r being like this . I hate myself f0r thinking ab0ut him again when I sh0uld f0rget . I've bec0me less caring and c0ncern f0r pe0ple ar0und me, be it c0lleague, 0r friends and even strangers . Whatever they d0 0r say I d0n't really care . Like I have withdraw fr0m pe0ple, I d0n't like when pe0ple ask and sh0w c0ncern f0r me, cause I think its very fake . Especially friends wh0 d0n't care ab0ut y0u and when s0mething happen t0 y0u, they pretend t0 sh0w that they care, this type 0f pe0ple I really detest a l0t . D0n't care means d0n't care d0esn't have t0 act like 0ne kind s0ul here . I've changed because I think n0b0dy deserve my c0ncern . The pe0ple I care and l0ve the m0st always ended up hurting me . And I'm really sick 0f it, I'm just pr0tecting myself fr0m getting hurt again . Whatever is g0ne, is g0ne . Can't find back, just like my smile, I may l00k happy but I'm just faking my smile . I'm n0t a happy pers0n and I d0n't find the need t0 deny . I just fcuking hate my life . I wish I c0uld just die . Cause I d0n't care and give a fcuking damn anym0re . Fcuked up life .

My ph0ne were very silent after the breakup, n0b0dy text 0r ph0ne me, 0nly when that is s0mething when pe0ple c0ntact me . An0ther reas0n is I g0t very few friends, I d0n't like mixing ar0und, I'm quite a anti pers0n, in fact I'm rather a l0ner and quiet pers0n but I d0 get really hyper and crazy at times when mixing with the right pers0n .

F0r eg, Mummy will call if she c00k my share 0f my fav0urite f00d . Sster will text me if Mummie c00k extra share 0f f00d . Friends will 0nly text 0r call when they need me .

I d0n't even b0ther t0 c0ntact them, I hardly c0ntact them, even have c0nflicts with them ab0ut the meetups s0metimes, really tired . I rather n0t meeting them, I tried asking them a l0t 0f times f0r meetups but 0ften the time is clashed . They're lucky t0 have find 0ffice, admin j0bs whereas am0ng them I'm the 0nly 0ne wh0 w0rk in retail, y0u kn0w retail h0urs . S0 the percentage 0f me getting weekends 0ff is very rare . M0rning shift is hard t0 get t00 .

S0metimes I feel very l0nely in this w0rld, feels like such a failure . Failure in everything . Feels like I g0t n0thing . I'll g0 0ut al0ne in the past but n0w I'll hide at h0me .

I fail f0r being a student . My qualificati0n, I 0nly c0mpleted my Nitec . I hate studies, n0 interest in it at all . S0 I give up . Hench, my English is n0t g00d, when times w0rds I can't spell, I'll check my dicti0nary . I can't speak English pr0perly 0r can't pr0nunce .

I fail f0r being a daughter . I'll t00k my parents f0r granted . Always when I'm quite pissed, I'll talk t0 my Mummy in a unp0lite manner . I d0n't talking t0 them that much s0metimes . Very naggy . 00PS . =X

I fail f0r being a gf . Speechless . R/S always g0t pr0blem . N0t treating ex bf n0t nice en0ugh 0r t00k them f0r granted . In the end they left f0r s0me0ne better . N0 peace . Fact is I hate being in l0ve, makes me very girly, weak and s0ft hearted .

I fail f0r being a friend . Friends c0me and g0 . They make friends and left . Hi bye friends, I've a l0t . I d0n't believe in trusting friends anym0re . Human is g00d at lying . I trust friends t00 much that I always ended up being betrayed and make used .

I fail f0r being a sister . Never d0 a g00d example f0r silbings t0 see . I set a bad example by n0t g0ing f0r better educati0n, went h0me very late, g0ing clubbing, several piercings and ink my b0dy, and sc0ld vuglar language .

I fail f0r being a human . I g0t attitude pr0blem . S0 cann0t really mix well with pe0ple and I find it hard t0 express myself, can't stand it when pe0ple wanted t0 find tr0uble with me and keep staring at me, will argue back, well, that me, very stubb0rn and h0t temper . Will even sc0ld vuglar language when I'm very pissed . C0ntr0ling myself . Was n0t a happy pers0n . I hate myself .

See, I'm such a bad girl n0 w0nder my life sucks, n0 many things happen .

But s0meh0w, I'm a l0t luckier c0mpare t0 s0me pe0ple wh0 are m0re unf0rtunate t0 me .

Alth0ught, I might n0t have a l0vely life, a g00d educati0n, perfect bf, dream career, w0nderful friends, but I'm happy that I still have my family with me and this fact will never changed . They're always with me, n0b0dy c0uld take that fr0m me .
Tell me h0w t0 change my life . I feel like cutting myself . Back t0 depressi0n th0ughts . I s0metimes w0nder if I've depressi0n .

I d0n't understand why d0es g0d wants t0 give me s0mething and take everything back fr0m me ? I rather n0t want anything in the first place .

I hate myself f0r still _____ him .

Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya t0 all the Muslims peeps 0ut there !

The ph0t0s f0r the f00d will be upl0aded when I'm free . (:

After that we went t0 Plaza Sing .

And went h0me after that .

0kays, Daddy is bringing us 0ut t0 eat .

F00d again . (: I'm bec0ming fatter ! My face turns r0under, which I hate m0st n0w is this feature . We went t0 818 ... Can't remember the name 0f the st0re . But it's l0cated near Jur0ng area, benefit th0se wh0se drive a big vehicle . My Daddie dr0ve th0se super BIG l0rry, in 0ther w0rds, he w0rk as a l0rry driver and Mummie is a h0usewife . =) I hardly talk ab0ut my family here .

I realize that my hair bec0me m0re fraglie, keep dr0pping and it's n0t as healthy and as black as bef0re .

0kays, this is my link f0r an0ther bl0g, Live J0urnal .

http://charleen-l.livejournal.com/ feel free t0 c0mment me . I created that acc0unt is because bl0gger went insane previ0usly . S0 far 0nly 0ne pers0n kn0w and c0mment in that bl0g . =D L0w pr0file . (: This is ANGIECHARLEEN . (=

Always l00k 0n the bright side 0f life . I h0pe I c0uld .

Y0u Sucks, I R0cks !

My all time fav0urite, MR SUPERMAN .

MR SUPERMAN, I L0VE Y0U . <3>
This bl0g is 0ne year 0ld ! =)

Regretted f0r deleted my previ0us bl0gs . N0w all the mem0ries is all g0ne .

PS. I want a t0y p00dle, pls . Secret c0de - 2005

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Labels: My life .

The diaryUntitle .

Friday, September 18, 2009 ( 9/18/2009 12:13:00 AM )

Natural p0st . (:

I think I l00k s0meh0w 0r rather funny f0r ph0t0s sh0wing my teeth, l00k fake and funny . I prefer t0 smile with0ut sh0wing 0ff my teeth . L0ls . My c0lleague says the ph0t0 l00k funny t00 . What d0 y0u think ? HMMM ... And this is my first time wearing a chiff0n t0p, makes me l00ks sweet . L0ls s0 n0t used t0 it .

Especially this p0se, my c0lleague says l00k funny, I ask him why, he just replied just l00k funny l0rs . But Mummy says l00k 0ne 0f the celebrity . I d0n't think s0 .

G.I.JOE suit is damn h0t . =) W0n't f0rget this m0vie, last m0vie with _____ .

007 car is even h0tter ~ ! (:

My future husband t0 be . He's mine !

My l0ve, Bumble Bee . Live In Acti0n .

Bumble Bee twin br0ther 0n the street, taken at a fam0us h0tel in fr0nt 0f 0rchard area .

The $1 that I trying t0 make it stand . Very hard sia . I tried numer0us times .

I feel s0 excited when I'm actually managed t0 make the c0in stand with0ut falling despite numer0us time 0f trying .

Bl0g typing was fun ! L0ve it . And I can't believed that I'm back t0 bl0g . (:

Miss bl0gging . =)

Mr Bimb0 .

Mr Fun .

Mr Cheerful .

Mr Lame .

Mr Cute .

Mr Hunk .

Mr Muscle .

Mr Prefect .

Mr Petite .

Mr Peace .

Mr Men .

Mr L0nely .

Mr Lucky .

Mr H0rny . S0unds s0 wr0ng . 00ps, didn't guys think ab0ut sex every 5 mins ? L0ls .

Mr Petty .

Mr Crazy .

Mr Attitude .

Mr C00l .

Mr Hands0me .

Mr Happy .

Mr Hippy .

Mr Talent .

Mr Nice .

Mr L0vely .

Mr Messy .

Mr Vintage .

Mr Unique .

Mr Clever .

Mr Stupid .

Mr Dumb .

Mr Funny .

Mr Silly .

Mr Day Dream .

Mr Smart .

Mr Cheerful .

Mr J0ke .

Mr Hum0ur .

Mr Style .

Mr Tired .

MR BF .

0kays, that's s0 rand0m . T00 b0ring .

Suddenly g0t craving f0r p0pc0rn . 0h n0 .

0ut 0f sudden wanted t0 change ph0ne and number . S0 tempted .

Wanted t0 catch F1 LIVE t00 ! But the tickets is s0 n0t w0rth it at all .

I want sit

Craving f0r everything, kill me pls .

And, and, and I realize that I've been eating a l0t, bef0re I picked up sm0king again, and seri0usly I need a diet, hit the gym, excerise, and eat lesser ! Cutting d0wn 0n unhealthy, junk f00d . But I can't resist them . S0 temptating .

Forget about your boyfriend and meet me at the hotel room, you can bring your girlfriends and meet me at the hotel room. I guess this LYRICS is talking "them" having sex . (:

Hey Hey You You

I don't like your girlfriend

No way No way

I think you need a new one

Hey Hey You You

I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You

I know that you like me

No way No way

No, it's not a secret

Hey Hey You You

I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine

I want you mine

You're so delicious

I think about you all the time

You're so addictive

Don't you know

What I can do

To make you feel alright

Don't pretend

I think you know

I'm damn precious

And hell yeah

I'm the mother fucking princess

I can tell you like me too

And you know I'm right

She's like so whatever

You can do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey Hey You You

I don't like your girlfriend

No way No way

I think you need a new one

Hey Hey You You

I could be your girlfriend

Hey Hey You You

I know that you like me

No way No way

No, it's not a secret

Hey Hey You You

I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way

I see the way

You look at me

And even when you loo

I know ur type

boy ur dangerous

yeah ur that guy

i'd be stupid to trust

but just one night couldn't be so wrong

u make me wanna loose control

I'm y0ur m0ther fcuking princess . (:

I wanna be y0ur girlfriend .

I c0uld be y0ur girlfriend .

I can be y0ur girlfriend .

I think I'm high . L0ls . Rand0m again .

I kn0w y0u're tr0uble but I cann0t resist

Y0u make me wanna l0se c0ntr0l

If y0u l0ve s0me0ne, set them free . If they c0me back, it is meant t0 be .

If y0u really l0ve s0me0ne, y0u w0n't leave them .

X0x0

L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Labels: Untitle .

The diaryEM0, ELM0

Monday, September 14, 2009 ( 9/14/2009 03:08:00 AM )

I kn0w this ph0t0s are ugly, fcuking ugly, but 0ther than and his ph0t0, that is n0thing else I can d0 t0 make me smile, f0rcing myself t0 smile again is hard, s0 I g0t n0 ch0ice . But I think they're interesting . (: S0meh0w make me wanna smile . His ph0t0 really make my day, I lied, I sh0uld have deleted everything ab0ut him but I'm still keeping his ph0t0s, whenever I'm met sad incident 0r think ab0ut him, I will l00k at his and 0ur ph0t0 and s0meh0w 0r rather it will make me smile . Even his hugs, his kiss, he whisper "I L0VE Y0U" in my ears . Still very sweet .

Sh*t, its 3.08 am n0w and I can't sleep . Head spins and hurts like hell .
Ever since the messy breakup, I been l0sing sleep alm0st everyday . I'll 0nly sleep when I'm very tired, I feel very tired at w0rk . Will even d0zed 0ff when sitting and even standing in the bus .
I guess this is my w0rst breakup I g0t . Life is back t0 black and white . Life turned upside d0wn . Back t0 my l0nely, em0, sad w0rld .
Feels like cutting myself .
S0unds fcuking stupid .
If I die 0ne day with0ut saying g00dbye will any0ne kn0w and care ?
I d0n't have much time left . I might leave anytime . I will die in a car accident . I g0t this str0ng feeling that I'll die very y0ung .
Negative th0ughts . L0ls, I think its funny t0 think ab0ut this n0w, cause every0ne will die, it's just a matter 0f time . Early 0r late .

Secrets or hidden messages are once again playing a role in your romantic affairs, Taurus. Whether you are single or attached, today may be a day where you expose or discuss hidden or private subjects, but these will not be dark in nature. This may simply involve finally exposing your fantasy to someone special, or even discussing issues of the past that brought you to where you are today. You can expect conversations and interactions with romantic interests to be intense, but the intense conversations are the ones that deepen romantic bonds. Sharing your inner thoughts with someone you trust is going to bring you the progress you are looking for today.

My l0ve life:
1. Mr R.idzwan` - (First l0ve) I d0n't l0ve him that much . The feeling wasn't very deep . A malay guy, n0thing special . 4 0r 5 years ag0 .
2. Mr R.ei Q.iang` - Puppy l0ve, this l0ve is very sweet and pure . Ended it cause the feeling is very wr0ng in the end . L0st c0ntact .
3. Mr K.ens0n*` - He've d0ne a l0t f0r me . Married with a kid n0w . But the marriage didn't last with his ex wife . He l0ve his spicky hair a l0t, very vain guy .
4. Mr T.rys0n**` - Kn0w this guy f0r 0ne 0r tw0 years thru a friend but we hardly c0ntact each 0ther . Until 0ne day, I've s0me pr0blem in my R/S s0 I seek his help and afterwhich we ended up being t0gether . Br0ught a l0t 0f l0llip0p f0r me and put it in a b0x, want me t0 be happy . He's a chef wh0 c00k really nice g00d . He's really sweet and really cute l00king, always give in t0 me . He've d0ne a l0t f0r me . L0ve him very much but ended up being hurt deeply . He's still single, but he's a faker . D0ne s0mething really hurt me . Still think ab0ut him s0metimes . T00k him f0r granted in the past .
5. Mr R.ay` - I've f0rg0tten ab0ut him, can't rememeber anything ab0ut him, bef0re we get t0gether, we will chat 0n the ph0ne everytime . This R/S d0esn't l00k like n0rmal c0uple . We are m0re like friends . He f0und his happiness n0w .
6. Mr K.enny% - A jerk, my ITE sch00lmate, l0ve at first sight . G0 ar0und flirting with girls . N0. 6, 7 & 8 guy is just flirting . They're n0t int0 me . Get t0gether f0r days 0nly .
7. Mr A.drian% - Lie ab0ut his whereab0uts, actually g0t case . Pr0blematic kid, CAB = Cha0 Ah Beng . He is always acting Beng . D0n't kn0w why I l0ve him in the first place . Must be blind .
8. Mr T.0ny% - Everytime I heard this name, I'll get b0iled up, a freaking g00d act0r in fr0nt 0f me, he g0t the l00ks and is using it t0 flirt behind his GF . I d0 n0t kn0w that he's attached until I checked 0ut his friendster acc0unt . Same case with n0. 11 guy . Makes me s0unds like a third party, when I kn0w n0thing at all . But I'm just a victim .
9. Mr D.amien% - He's actually s0me0ne I d0n't wish t0 be with, cause he's my g00d buddy, he's nice, always there f0r me, keep saying that he like me, we'll always quarrel, but in the end we will make it up and in the end we even l0se this friendship . N0t w0rth dating friends . L0se 0ne g00d friend f0r n0thing, and f0r g00d .
He said s0mething nasty s0 I never f0rgive him . He d0esn't want the friendship in the first place . Makes me really upset . Miss him s0 much, w0nder h0w he is d0ing n0w . H0pe can see him again and revive this friendship back .
10. Mr A.lex` - He's 0ne year y0unger than me . He's cute, but we're n0t c0mpatible . Met him when w0rking in Carref0ur . Will always quarrel . The day I left, he didn't st0pped me, all he did was playing with his PSP . Happiness f0und .
He's happily attached n0w, felt happy f0r him . This was 2 years 6 m0nths ag0 .
11. Mr N.aszreen***` - (Last l0ve) A Chinese mix Malay guy . N0 much c0mments . Nice and l0ving in the beginning, but is a heartbreaker . An0ther player . I l0ve him the m0st and he hurt me the m0st, the m0st . Left f0r an0ther girl . Breakd0wns when think and talk ab0ut him . Last guy I l0ve . N0t w0rth my tears . T00k l0ve and pe0ple ar0und him f0r granted .
Actually still cann0t get 0ver him, still thinking ab0ut him . Still _____ him .

Played tar0t card, I asked ab0ut me and _____ will have any ending, I picked three card, 0ne 0f it I ch0se is the l0vers . But in the end, the ending wasn't what the l0ver card is saying .
S0me0ne ever t0ld me that this card is the best card if y0u wanna kn0w ab0ut s0mething in relati0nship . _____ is still 0n my mind . I even tried taking 0ff day 0n _____ just t0 meet him, but was diappr0ved, instead I g0t tw0 ____ m0rning shift, was happy als0, at least can meet f0r a few h0urs m0re and its en0ugh but it's t00 late bef0re anything c0uld be d0ne .
Maybe the card I picked is just c0incidence . D0es n0t mean anything else .
At first I feel s0 happy hearing it but after that I kn0w it's n0t my happiness . Hate myself f0r being s0 weak and s0ft hearted .

Crazy ab0ut F1 . Th0se c00l engines and h0t brakes ~ ! Th0se cute guys t0tally turn me 0n t00 ! (:

All the guys I kn0w always left me with w0unds all 0ver . And are jerks . All n0 happy ending, n0 lasting l0ve . Never last m0re than 3 m0nths . N0w y0u kn0w why I wanna stay single, I rather stay single better than getting hurt in a R/S . Very hard f0r me t0 l0ve . The fear 0f rejecti0n, being aband0ned, cheated .
Seri0usly I f0rg0tten I g0t h0w many ex bf already . The 0ne I can remembered I type it 0ut .
All is seri0us but d0n't kn0w why n0ne last . I'm n0t a flirt, I'm l0yal and faithful in R/S . But 0ften being treated like sh*t . Maybe its my pr0blem, my fault . But th0se sweet and happy m0ments I'm still missing them all . I g0t a l0t 0f crush and puppy l0ve in the past . Th0se feelings is very pure and sweet .

* means i ____ y0u .
** means i ______ y0u a l0t .
*** means i ________ y0u very very much .

(:

After typing this p0st, pe0ple will think I'm such a flirt . But I kn0w I'm n0t . I'm always me, need n0b0dy t0 judge me . Wh0 cares ?
My l0ngest R/S is 3 m0nths .
My sh0rtest R/S is three days .
My l0ngest rec0rd f0r being single is 2 years and 6 m0nths .

Envy c0uples f0r celebrating anniversary and Valentine Day t0gether . I did with 0ne 0f my ex, but I wan't happy . Envy girls that receive present like r0se, ch0c0late and even bear . L0ls . I never receive bef0re . Envy with GREEN . Jeal0usy kills .
I h0pe I can celebrate every single special 0ccasi0n with that special pers0n in the future .
Time is n0t right, s0 MR RIGHT haven appear .

look out (x3)
where its at
i know karma's coming to pay me back
im with the sweetest thang thats on the map
i broke her heart in 30 seconds flat
in 30 seconds flat
now how did i
just how did i become that kind of guy
to look at girl and lie right in the eye
my momma told me willy that aint right
boy now that aint right
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break your heart
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break ya
b b b b break it baby
look baby
im a heartbreaker (x6)
im a heart
a h h h h
im a heart
a h h h im a
where she go
i got some things i gotta let her know
to fix the love now its impossible
but baby baby if we take it slow
if we take it slow
we can make it work
we just cant throw the love down in the dirt
you probly think that im a f**kin jerk
cuz the way i let you down it made you hurt
i didnt mean to make you hurt
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break your heart
im s s s sorry
im s s s sorry
i didnt mean to break ya
b b b b break it babylo

Because 0f y0u, I d0ne s0me things that I w0n't d0 in my previ0us R/S . I'm back t0 sm0king track because 0f y0u . I feel stress . I feel empty . I feel l0nely . I feel w0rthless . I feel vexed . Y0u say y0u d0n't like y0ur gf t0 g0 0ut with guys even if he is just my friend, I listen t0 y0u, I never meet them, y0u say y0u d0n't like y0ur gf t0 c0ntact and message guys, I listen t0 y0u, I never c0ntact and text them . H0w ab0ut y0u ? Didn't y0u d0 that als0 ? I didn't st0p y0u fr0m meeting 0r c0ntacting y0ur girl friends at all . Freed0m is very imp0rtant in a R/S t00 . Y0u're putting y0ur happiness 0nt0 my unhappiness . I'm n0t happy at all because I want y0u t0 be happy . D0 y0u kn0w I fall in l0ve with y0u is because 0f y0ur smile ? When I see y0u smile, I will be very happy . My heart will melt . But I d0n't kn0w why we can't have a peaceful and happy R/S . 0ur R/S always g0t pr0blem . I kn0w y0u are trying y0ur best t0 make the R/S w0rk, I can see that . I kn0w y0u care . I kn0w y0u're f0rcing y0urself t0 be with me when y0u're n0t happy at all . I want y0u t0 be truely happy and n0t f0rcing and faking y0ur smile, f0rcing t0 put 0n a smile in fr0n 0f me . I want y0u t0 be happy, even if I've let g0 and give up everything, n0thing beats than seeing y0u smile . Y0ur smile is my everything . Life with0ut y0u is darkness . Y0u c0l0ured my life again . If we were n0t t0gether I think I will still c0ntinue being em0 and never kn0w l0ve and never tasted l0ve and in l0ve again . Y0u make me wanna l0ve again . I spend weeks try revivng th0se feelings but yet y0u're spending y0ur time enj0ying y0ur time with an0ther girl . I guess this is called RETRIBUTI0N f0r being the third party between y0u and y0ur ex gf, s0 that why this happened t0 me . I d0n't kn0w why y0u dislikes me s0 much that y0u w0n't want t0 see me even f0r the last time . I th0ught I can revive y0ur heart and th0se feelings back if we c0uld meet again . Why can't y0u make it happen again like y0u did bef0re t0 win back my heart ? What is the use 0f having y0ur heart when its empty ? I want all y0ur full 0f energy l0ve . It's s0 hard f0r us t0 get back t0gether again after we tried s0 many times t0 w0rk it w0rk . Why can't y0u d0 s0mething ? Th0se nights we hang0ver was my happiest m0ments in life when i'm with y0u . Till n0w t00 . The feeling d0esn't seems t0 fade . But s0meh0w I d0n't think ab0ut y0u that much n0w, I'm sl0wly f0rgetting y0u . I treasure, cherish and l0ve y0u . But I'm really very tired, at times . I keep thinking and asking myself why can't y0u be the pers0n wh0 give in t0 this R/S and instead 0f just taking ? It w0n't w0rk this way . L0ve is give and take . L0ve is share and bear . We w0rked and fight s0 hard t0 be t0gether again, why are y0u pulling it d0wn again ? Is it cause I treat y0u n0t g00d en0ugh ? Perhaps I'm n0t g00d en0ugh f0r y0u . I have never ever given up 0n y0u and 0ur R/S . Be it th0se times y0u lied t0 me 0r n0w, I've never changed, but I realize y0u've changed a l0t . But y0u gave up first, its n0t fair t0 me . Y0u keep quiet ab0ut everything . I didn't wanted t0 break up in the first place, all al0ng I wanted m0st is t0 see y0u smile happily even if 0ne day I've t0 leave y0u . But I never c0me acr0ss my mind s0 its s0 fast that I've t0 let g0 when I'm trying t0 make this w0rk f0r us . S0 many w0rds never tell y0u . S0 many places never g0 t0gether . S0 many things never tell y0u . Y0u leave everything t0 a hist0ry . I always trust y0u, s0 much till whatever y0u say I'll believe even th0ugh I still have d0ubts 0n y0u s0metimes, but I tell myself that I must trust my BF . Even if y0u said y0u went 0ut with friends 0r even clubbing . As l0ng as y0u let me kn0w y0ur whereab0uts, at least I w0n't have t0 w0rry f0r y0u in case any accident happens . But whenever I trust y0u, s0mething bad happens, it's n0t 0nce, twice but m0re than that . And its always happen I d0n't wish t0 happen . I l0ve y0u s0 much, care s0 much f0r y0u, but in the end y0u said y0u d0 a l0t f0r her and she did a l0t f0r y0u, in y0ur heart, I'm always a bad GF, n0t kn0wing what y0u want and h0w y0u feel in this R/S . Y0u always said I think ab0ut myself, but d0 y0u kn0w that s0metimes y0u're s0 full 0f y0urself ? I can't stand it t00 . I g0t my limits t00 . Its just that s0metimes I just pretend and d0n't wanna kn0w . Was being ditched in silence with0ut kn0wing anything bef0rehand . Y0u enj0y, I suffer . Seeing is believing . Ign0rance is bliss . Why y0u're n0t that pers0n wh0 d0ne a l0t f0r me ? Why the pers0n y0u l0ve a l0t is n0t me ? Even if n0w I've never ecxpected y0u t0 change . Why y0u can stay faithful t0 her and y0ur ex and n0t t0 me ? Just 3 weeks, and y0u're 0ff with s0me0ne else, I'm being a f00l here . T0 me, 3 weeks isn't a very l0ng peri0d 0f time . I wished we c0uld last m0re than that . I l0ve y0u s0, why d0 y0u want t0 leave ? Why y0u have t0 be that pers0n ? Why is it y0u ? Why d0 y0u keep hurting me ? Why d0es all this have t0 happen ? What have I d0ne wr0ngly t0 deserve all this ? I have d0ne n0thing wr0ng t0 y0u . Y0u start y0ur new life and never turned back . I've always been the brave and str0ng, I will get back 0n track again but can I be the weak CHARLEEN f0r 0nce and leave quietly ? I tried everything I c0uld t0 get y0u back but this ending is what y0u been expecting all this while . I'm clear minded when y0u say that, s0 I ch00se t0 let g0 . But ... Can't we have a peaceful instead 0f a messy breakup ? At least I w0n't be s0 heartbr0ken . Y0u destr0y and t00k everything fr0m me . Why d0 y0u t00k my smile and happiness away ? Em0ti0nally lately, 0ther than being em0, been wanting t0 cry . I need a sh0ulder . If 0ne day I die will y0u cry f0r me ? I realize that I'm n0t that str0ng afterall . i hate the fact that y0u have left and I've t0 pretend t0 be happy . Waiting f0r a heart that never c0me back . H0w I wish ... I already bel0ng t0 y0ur past . She is y0ur current and future . N0 l0nger anything in y0ur heart . H0pe her ending d0esn't end like y0ur ex and mine, s0 pathetic and heart br0ken, h0pe y0u can last l0ng with her ! Ever since y0u left, till n0w I guess I've sl0wly letting g0 and search f0r my smile in vain . I NEED THEM BACK AGAIN ! By the way, I must really thanks th0se pe0ple wh0 really sh0w care and c0ncern ab0ut me when I'm really d0wn, th0se messy, sad m0ment, I d0n't wanna think ab0ut it anym0re . Finding the 0ld me back 0n track . I s0meh0w can sense that y0u w0n't be back anym0re, its really g00dbye f0r us and the pain is sl0wly fading away in the air . I mean what I say this time, I w0n't c0ntact y0u means I w0n't, anym0re . N0 matter h0w much I miss y0u and h0w much I wanted y0u t0 be here again . D0n't kn0w whether y0u still viewing my bl0g despite telling y0u n0t t0 view anym0re, I think y0u w0n't anym0re, that g00d . Sh0ws that y0u n0 l0nger l0ve me, I kn0w . If y0u c0uld remember we chatted 5 weeks ag0, and I say 0ur relati0nship seems very funny cause we d0n't seem t0 care ab0ut each 0ther that much and y0u th0ught I wanted t0 leave y0u, and if I really did, y0u ask me t0 leave y0u 5 weeks later, which is las few weeks ag0 . H0w c0ncidence 0r y0u already plan ? It sh0ws that h0w much we are n0t meant t0 be . G0d wanted the ending f0r us t0 be like this t00 . I 0nly c0uld see y0u with 0ther girls . I wish y0u all the very, very very best . Best blessing .

But heart is hurt and numb that I d0 n0t have the c0urage t0 l0ve again . I started t0 dislike d0ing things which I enj0yed and l0ve d0ing bef0re we were still t0gether, I l0st interest in everything . Even cute guys . ): N0t s0 crazy 0ver them anym0re .

Same Script Different Cast

Whitney: Um?hey Deb.

Deborah Cox: Mmm hmm?

WH: Thank you for being woman enough to come.

DC: Whitney, what′s this about?

WH: I know he′s leaving me for you.

DC: Who said that? Who told you that it′s true?

What is he telling you?

Could it be the same things that he told me?

DC: He told me that he loved me.

WH: I heard that.

DC: He told me I was[harmony] beautiful. How did you know? How did you know?

WH: Because I played that scene before.

CHORUS:This is a retake of my life.

I was his star for many nights.
Now the roles have changed,

And you′re the leading lady in his life.

Lights, camera, now you′re on.

Just remember you′ve been warned.

Enjoy it now, ′cause it won′t last.

Same script, different cast.

DC: What you′re saying could be true.

But how can I take advice from you?

WH: I′m not hating,

But I wish the one before me

Would have warned me too babe.

DC: Don′t say no more. La La La La La La La La La

WH: Uncover your ears, gir

T0 fix the l0ve n0w its imp0ssible .

L0ve 0r bread ?

L0ve 0r m0ney ?

L0ve 0r labels ?

What will y0u ch00se ? C0ded my l0ve . Barc0de my l0ve . Kidnap my heart . L0ve me, Charleen . H0pe its l0ve y0u ch00se .

EM0 like elm0 . Feeling quite l0nely in this w0rld . Living in my 0wn w0rld s0metimes .

Addicted t0 GREEN tea, ch0c0late and p0tat0 wedges . (:
Miss eating MINGLES, nice f00d, reas0nable price, 0nly at Vel0 City, always eat with c0lleague and we will return them their utensil after finishing their f00d . I l0ve their p0tat0 wedges with cheese and waffle ice cream ! (: Nice f00d makes me happy ! =) But they will be cl0sing f0r weeks t0 ren0vati0n, unable t0 enj0y their f00d f0r the next few weeks . F00d is what I enj0yed the m0st in my life . I started t0 get weird tastebuds, I'm in l0ve with Mr Latte, Mr Cappuccino recently . I d0n't drink c0ffee at all, but I'm suddenly in l0ve with them ! (:

And I'm int0 heels and dresses ! G0nna get m0re . 0h, Mummie is s0 g0ing t0 kill me ! =x

PARTY, PARTY, PARTY . =D M00d t0 clubbing s0ngs .

Damn, went t0 buy cigarette just n0w, the pers0n wants t0 check my IC, but was half happy t00, cause after I hit the 20s, I might n0t be able t0 hear it anym0re . The pers0n must be thinking why g0t Xia0 Mei Mei can buy cigarette des . Even g0t s0me uncles th0ught I underage sm0ker . D0ts l0rs . I think after this p0st, I might g0 MIA f0r awhile, wh0 kn0ws I might changed my mind again by bl0gging . Very sick and tired 0f everything . Hate myself al0t, al0t . Hate my em0ti0ns . Why I cann0t f0rget and let g0 . Back t0 my life, sm0king life . N0thing beats than being happy .

PS . Attenti0n seekers turns me 0ff . Especially guys . Yucks .

X0X0

Labels: ELM0, EM0

The diaryF C U K M E .

Sunday, September 13, 2009 ( 9/13/2009 11:57:00 PM )

Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to
If You Seek Amy

=

All the b0ys and all the girls are begging t0 F U C K M E .

S0ng by Britney Spears, If Y0u Seek Amy . Nice 0ne, she d0esn't want pe0ple t0 mistaken her as a sl*t . S0 she is singing this s0ng t0 the media . (: Y0u g0, girl, Britney ! =)

X0x0 .

Labels: F C U K M E .

The diary...

( 9/13/2009 01:59:00 AM )

郭静 - 知道

她让你憔悴许多她让你不知所措她的一举一动你不停的对我说我微笑倾听你说我却越听越心痛怎么你说的不是我她比我多了什么让你愿意耐心等候我想知道她让你痴心是什么我想知道她让你疯狂为什么我知道做的和她没有不同但是我却不在你的心中逗留我想知道她哪里比我好很多在你心中她和我有什么不同我知道我比她付出的还多可是我总换不了你的心动你让我憔悴很多你让我不知所措你一举一动我的心被牵着走她不经意的走过你就把我给冷落嫉妒把我给吞没她比我多了什么让你愿意耐心等候我想知道她让你痴心是什么我想知道她让你疯狂为什么我知道做的和她没有不同但是我却不在你的心中逗留我想知道她哪里比我好很多在你心中她和我有什么不同我知道我比她付出的还多可是我总换不了你的心动我知道了她哪里比我好更多在你心中我永远不可能会让你心动我知道我比她付出的还多可是我在你心中没有她多

温岚 - 傻瓜

其实他做的坏事我们都懂没有什么不同眼光闪烁暧昧流动闭上眼当作听说其实别人的招数我们都懂没有什么不同故作软弱撒娇害羞只是有一点别扭傻瓜也许单纯地懂爱得没那么做作爱上了我不保留傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜其实别人的招数我们都懂没有什么不同故作软弱撒娇害羞只是有一点别扭傻瓜也许单纯地懂爱得没那么做作爱上了我不保留傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜

傻瓜 - 陈奕

不知不觉哭了好久我还想着你说过的话你说要一起加油说要再牵着我可是我却看不见你的手那天晚上泪如雨下我哭倒在房间地板上随便装忘的崩溃回忆在每个地方相爱的画面为什么那么心伤我只是一个傻瓜为你把眼泪流光心碎了却还是假装自己好坚强我笑得好傻不过在掩饰哀伤痛的时候才真的看见绝望我只是一个傻瓜为你把力气用光也许你早就不在我却还在奢望你走得好静一点也没有声响这种离开原来才最叫人永远难忘

Say You Love Me - 七朵花

下过大雨的天空我的彩虹灰灰的是否你还会记得说过你会牵着我的手乌云密布的天空我的回忆湿湿的没有你爱着的我让我开始学着和孤单做朋友我的心中还有太多话来不及说我们还有太多地方没一起去过say you love me 眼泪在求救say you need me 别让我难过我好脆弱不知道该要怎麽做say you love me 不能再重头say you need me 别把快乐通通都带走我的心痛你不懂是不是不够勇敢我的心越飘越乱忽然失了方向感哪里能找得到答案总是一个人守候因为你习惯自由等不到你来爱我明明两个人却反而更寂寞我的心中还有太多话来不及说我们还有太多地方没一起去过say you love me 眼泪在求救say you need me 别让我难过我好脆弱不知道该要怎麽做say you love me 不能再重头say you need me 别把快乐通通都带走我的心痛你不懂我的心中还有太多话来不及说我们还有太多地方没一起去过say you love me 眼泪在求救say you need me 别让我难过我好脆弱不知道该要怎麽做say you love me 不能再重头say you need me 别把快乐通通都带走请你不要留下我

Way back into love

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past,
I just can’t seem to move on
I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
oh oh oh

X0x0 .

Labels: ...

The diaryRaannndddd00000mmmmmm

Saturday, September 12, 2009 ( 9/12/2009 08:51:00 PM )

Let the ph0t0 did the talking, its simple, its f00d and its nice .

As pr0mised, upl0aded ph0t0s at Swensen . (=

Its Saturday today yet I'm alone at home . Just knocked off from work . Freaking tired . My bones is cracking . Aching like heck .

Ate maggie mee with eggs . Yummy ~ ! =) L0ve dinner . Ai xin wan can .

Just g0tten my pay . Average m00d . G0nna save this m0nth . W0rk m0re 0T .

I guess I'm just using w0rk as a excuse t0 numb myself and av0id the pain .

Starting t0 plan f0r my future . I want h0lidays ! I want 0verseas trips and pampered myself with branded g00ds . I'm being influenced by being a label junkie n0w . G0 crazy f0r brands .

Fr0m n0w 0n, every Saturday I'll be free . N0 m0re late night m0vie . N0 m0re meet up with ____ . S0 d0 ask me 0ut ! (:

Cause I'm single and available . But l0ve is n0t in the air . (:

Just wanna play and enj0y life .

Clubbing, partying and wild nights ! =)

This is me, the 0ld me . With0ut thinking that is t0m0rr0w .

Wanna catch The Ugly Truth, like nice lehs . M18 . (:

I can g0, I'm n0t underage girl, 0kays . Any0ne interested ?

Date me, pls, yes, date me, I say .
L0ls, I als0 want t0 g0 see F1 . F1 R0CKS ! :))

Chi0ng my work . 0T, 0T, 0T . M0ney, m0ney, m0ney . =D

Bananas & green apples are my fav0urites ! They've been my dinner buddy recently .

Skipped dinner too much . N0 appetite at all . Alth0ugh I eat very little n0wadays I feel very bl0ated, my st0mach l00ks very fat .

Gastric acting up again . Better 0ff kill me, then I can g0 heaven 0r hell ? L0ls .

Make me laugh again .

I want find my laughter back .

I miss the 0ld me wh0 always laugh 0ut l0ud and d0n't care h0w pe0ple say and l00k at me .

Smoking last cigarette . I will n0t give up this time . I will n0t quit this time .

0ther than being em0 and upset, I'm still upset and em0 . Y0u and me kn0w the answer why .

Bl0gging and bl0g h0pping . (:

I'm really tired . I d0n't want t0 l0ve anym0re .

L0ve hurts . It hurts deeply thru my heart . Just like a knife stabbing thru my heart repeatedly, and it is bleeding pr0fusely .

My heart g0t en0ugh w0und . My heart needs s0me healing .

M0ney can't buy l0ve, happiness and hugs .

If I g0nna l0ve again, that pers0n must g0ne been thru ups and d0wns, j0y and s0rr0ws with me .

N0t g0nna l0ve again .

Heart is breaking int0 pieces .

After s0 many days, I'm still _____ .

L0ve, sex, magic .

X0x0 .

Labels: Raannndddd00000mmmmmm

The diaryL0ngest p0st ever .

Wednesday, September 9, 2009 ( 9/09/2009 02:59:00 PM )

Its o9.o9.o9 .
But I'm n0t happy .
Remind 0f s0me0ne, makes me think I've g0t n0thing left .
Pe0ple ch00se this day t0 get marry while I was being left al0ne yesterday fr0m n0w 0nwards .

Bl0g h0pping ar0und .
Back t0 bl0gging .
Sh0uld I use bl0gger 0r LiveJ0urnal ?

Th0ught 0f finding new j0b .
C0nfused . Sh0uld I ? Can't make up my mind .
0ff day . (:

Sister treated me and Mummie t0 Swensen .
She even say this last night . I'm s0 g0ing t0 Swensen . =)
L0ls .
Nice f00d . Even t00k ph0t0 0f the f00d . Shall p0st it 0ne day . Sister t00k my camera with her .

Deleted repeated messages . Pls p0st just 0nce . Click g0 f0r 0nce, cause its lag . (=

I f0und all the sad and meaningful lyrics t0 p0st here .

Find it interesting . Kinda 0f feelings I'm feeling right n0w . The em0ti0ns I been thru .

When I'm With Y0u .
I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count when I'm with you
Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out
Wishin I was by your side
Cuz when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life
When I'm with you I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you
When ever you're not around
When I kiss you I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made

L0ve F00l .
Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing
That I can do to make you do
So I cry, I pray, and I beg
Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you
Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake an I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
As long as you don't go
Love me, love me
Fool, fool me
Love me, love me I can't care about anything but you

Take A Bow .
Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech out
How about a round of applause
A standin' ovation

Tongue Tied .
Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?
I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?
I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

Hate That I Love You .
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so..
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that
I Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I hate that I love you so--
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you

L00k What Y0u've D0ne .
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Big Girls Don't Cry .
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you
like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Dont cry, Dont cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps til I'm full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I forseek the dark ahead if I stay
I'll be your best friend
And you'll be my valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
Cuz I wanna hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers
and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself in center,clarity, peace, serenity

I Will Be .
There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go
I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Coz you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, coz you're here with me
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay
Coz without you I can sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah...And without you I don't know what I'll do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, did you see?
You're all I need
And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Coz you keep me from falling apart

G00dbye .
Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted,
In a corner crying, pardon me if I don't show it
I don't care if I never see you again I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone
Cut my hair 'cuz it reminded me of you
I know you like the long 'do,
Had to switch my attitude up
Thinkin' of changing up how I ride, No more
On the passenger side too bad
You miss out on the way that I drive it
I don't care if I never see you again I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone

Baby Don't Go .
Meanwhile I'm sittin at home, all alone
Tryin to keep myself from goin crazy
When I'm in the house, when I think about
When I see you out, when I hear about {T-Pain}
I want my baby back! {'Lo-so}
And I thought it would be easybut it's hard for me to let you GO~!
(Baby don't) GO! (Baby don't) go!(Baby don't) go (baby don't) {y'all know what this is}
Now I'm better than your ex, gon' be better than your next
Baby Screwed Up so you better be from Tex-as
It's okay to lose your pride over someone you love
Don't lose someone you love though over your pride
Stick wit'cha entree and get over your side
We break up to make up at Jacob's baby
Her parents fought too, I'm the makeup baby
Wake up baby, love'll have you open though

A Little T00 N0t 0ver Y0u .
It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else
It's for the best, I know it isBut I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside and I turn around
You're with HER nowI just can't figure it out
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Memories supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong,
moving on
But I see you sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside and I turn around
You're with HER now
I just can't figure it out
Maybe I regret
Everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own
How I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand

G00d Girls G0ne Bad .
Easy for a good girl to go bad
And once we gone
Best believe we gone forever
Don’t be the reason
Don’t be the reason
You better learn how to treat us right
Cuz once a good girl goes bad
We die forever
It’s getting out of control
Finally I can’t take no more
He finds a letter on the stairs
Saying this is the end
I packed my bag and left with your best friend

Cry .
I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truely
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
Did it happen when we first kissed
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should never let you hold me baby
Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart
How did I get here with you, i'll never know
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

Battlefield .
Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battle-field
One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)
Why does love always feel like..
Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag,
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like..
Why does love always feel like...
Why does love always feel like...
A battlefield, a battlefield..
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know
What we're fighting for

When You're Gone .
I always needed time on my own
I never thoughtI'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like yearswhen I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to knowis missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to says get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
I never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left are lyin' on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were meant for each other
I keep foreverI know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

Yesterday .

I just cant believe your gone
still waitin for mornin to come
when i see if the sun will rise,
in the way that your by my side
well we got so much in store
tell me what is it im reaching for
when were through building memories
i'll hold yesterday in my heartin my heart
they can take tomorrow
and the plans we made
they can take the music
that we never play
all the broken dreams
take everything
just take it away, but they can
never have yesterday
they can take the future
that we'll never know
they can take the places
that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away,but they can never have yesterday
you always choose to stay
I should be thankful for everyday
heaven knows what the future holds,
or least where the story goes
I never believed untill now
I know i'll see you again im sure
no its not selfish to ask for more
one more night one more day
one more smile on your face
but they cant take yesterday
they can take tomorrow
and the plans we made
they can take the music
that we never playall the broken dreams take everything
just take it away,but they can never have yesterday
they can take the future
that we'll never know
they can take the places
that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away,but they can never have yesterday
I thought our days would last forever
but it wasnt our destiny
cause in my mind we had so much time,but i was so wrong
no i can believe that
I can still find the strenghin the moments we made
I'm lookin back on yesterday

Always Be My Baby
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'll let you fly
'Cause I known in my heart
Our love will never die, no
You'll always be a part of me
I'am part of you indefinitely
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably, you'll be back again

Unfaithful .
Story of my life
Searching for da right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

I'm Y0urs .
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Thinking 0f Y0u .

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on where do I go
I guess second best is all I will know
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
I was disgusted with myself
Was looking into...
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

Never Say Never .
Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without and just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of, together all the while
You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go
We're pulling apart
And coming together again and again
We're pulling apart
But we pull it together
Pull it together again

S0ber .
When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, never again
Broken down in agony just tryna find a fit

What Hurts The M0st .
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain
of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words
that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

C0mplicated .
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turning into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it

Y0u F0und Me .
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of Firs tand Amistad
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late.
You found me, you found me.
But in the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing hope
The only one who's ever known
Who I am, Who I'm not, Who I want to be
No way to know

Never Let Y0u G0 .
The rain, just never seems to bring the joy,
I feel the same everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part the hold you left the mark all that
I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breatha part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me, one more chance to tell you how i was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and ya know,I'd never let you go

Ap0l0gize .
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new - yeah yeah
I loved you with the fire red
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late whoa

Please D0n't Leave Me .
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is....broken
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean itI mean it, I promise
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.

L0ve Hurts .
Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
Love hurts, love hurts
Without love I won't survive

0ver Y0u .
Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I felt as if I was in way to deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

We Bel0ng T0gether .
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I did nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
I didn't know you
I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or even touch or even kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
Baby nobody else
We belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you're all on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
If you think you're lonely now
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell
I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody else
We belong together

Because 0f Y0u .
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that s weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it s empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

Always Getting 0ver Y0u .
You could never see it through my eyes
And I'm too tired to try
So don't call and say your coming back for me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you
And don't lie and say your over me
Don't mean nothing
I'm always getting over you

L0ve St0ry .
And I said,"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princessIt's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said,"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head?
I don't know what to think-"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,"Marry me, Juliet.
You'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

N0 B0undaries .
Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever when you feel you've lost your way
What if my chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on!

Bleeding L0ve .
Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy
But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

P.S . I'm Still N0t 0ver Y0u .
I know we haven't spoken for a while
But I was thinkin bout you
And it kinda made me smile
So many things to say
And I'll put em in a letter
Thought it might be easier
The words might come out better
So many things
I wanna know the answers to
Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you
Don't you know I've tried and I've tried
To get you out my mind
But it don't get no better
As each day goes by
And I'm lost and confused
I've got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I'm still not over you
Still not over you
Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on
But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone
I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me
But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me
Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.
Boy it aint easy
When I hear our song
I get that same old feeling
Turn back the hands of time
And I shouldn't be telling you
Did you know I kept all of your pictures
Don't have the strength to part with them yet
Oh no....
Tried to erase the way your kisses taste
But some things a girl can never forget

Bye Bye .
This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
No, no, no
Mamas, daddys, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye
As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye
You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

I Stay In L0ve .
Baby, I stay in love with you
Dying inside cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby I
Try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you dont' know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts and minds
And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like 'Oh well'
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon' act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all
What I wanna do is
Ride shot-gun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone

N0b0dy .
You Know I still Love You Baby
And it will never change
I want nobody nobody But You
I want nobody nobody But You

Y0u're N0t S0rry .
All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no ohhh
Looking so innocent,I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you babyLike I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, ohhh
You're not sorry no no ohhh
You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no ohhh
You're not sorry, no no ohhh

RAND0M

Yesterday was the ending and t0day is the beginning I start 0ver again . Y0u kn0w I can't . I'm n0t satisfy with the ending . I was expecting a happy ending between y0u and me . But whatever l0st is l0st, the feeling cann0t bring back anym0re . St0p acting like y0u care, st0p acting like y0u still l0ve me, st0p all this . Cause I kn0w this is ending y0u expected . I grant y0ur wish . The real reas0n y0u d0n't wanna see me is because y0u've been meeting her and decided t0 be with her when I act like a stupid idi0t f00l keep l0nging f0r y0u back . All that acting . Say y0u n0t free, Daddie ask y0u g0 h0me, Mummie call y0u, every Sat and Sun n0t free anym0re als0 all are just lies . I was very right fr0m the beginning . My sixth sense is very accurate and I believe in it a l0t, a l0t . I t00k nearly tw0 and a half years t0 get 0ver 0ld w0unds and the hurt my ex d0ne t0 me, and y0u t00k just weeks and even days t0 bl0wn me d0wn again . L0st the match . It's really hard f0r me t0 stand up and be str0ng again .
I'm s0 used t0 be having y0u by my side . Andn0w everything was cleared . There are certain Saturday (th0se when y0u didn't meet and c0ntact me) I th0ught we are still t0gether . And I will started t0 wait f0r y0ur message and even ph0ne calls ab0ut the meet up at night, and later after that I realize its just my illusi0n . The 0nly time y0u pick me up after w0rk is when I'm still w0rking in Ngee Ann City . 0nly that 0ne time y0u waited f0r me 0utside my sh0p . I was really surprise t0 see y0u 0utside my sh0p waiting f0r me . And after that I meet y0u at Cineleisure Cheers after w0rk with0ut fail . Everything changed after y0u went 0ut field, and I'm being transfer t0 0ther 0utlet, y0u kn0w I really h0pe I can see y0u 0utside my sh0p waiting f0r me instead 0f meeting y0u at t0wn .
If y0u really l0ve me, and is faithful, y0u w0n't be able t0 resist 0ther girls . But y0u did . Disapp0inting fact . I can take it when I get diapp0inted by y0u but I cann0t accept the fact that y0u're leaving, f0r g00d . Y0u destr0y the g00d imgine 0f y0u in my heart . When I realize I l0ve y0u deeply that is when y0u ch00se t0 let g0 . Am0ng all my ex, y0u're the 0nly 0ne I l0ve and care m0st and which hurt me the m0st .
When l0ve c0mes, grab it and let it g0 . I saw y0u, I th0ught I saw h0pe but then it was just a dream .
I h0pe I w0n't turn back n0 m0re . It's nice having y0u 0nce .
N0 message received, n0 call received .
H0ping f0r a miracle, but it seems that in my w0rld that is n0 miracle . Waiting f0r y0ur call . I never g0t the chance again .
Cause th0se em0ti0ns is t00 deep f0r me t0 hang 0n t0 .
Letting it 0ut w0uld be better . All th0se mem0ries is t00 deep f0r me t0 h0ld 0n .
I'm fighting hard f0r my happiness . All I can d0, I've already d0ne and tried . Instead I'm paying a price f0r it, a big price . Pride is g0ne . I was struggling . I've l0st this war . This is the biggest w0und I've received . And rejecti0n . But I still face it . At least I did . Unlike y0u, despite me being a girl fear rejecti0n still face it and what d0 y0u d0 ? Y0u hide and c0ward ar0und . This is my final time and chance t0 say all this . When I d0n't l0ve y0u s0 deeply, y0u say that I'm n0t l0ving . When I l0ve y0u wh0leheartly y0ur way 0f returning it is hurt me and I'm left with N0THING .
L0ve y0u deep deep, miss y0u big big, miss saying that t0 y0u .
Y0u make me wanna l0ve again after s0 many years . Y0u bring my laughter back which I l0st ar0und tw0 years ag0 . Y0u f0und my laughter again after s0 l0ng . Y0u're the 0nly pers0n that make me wanna l0ve and trust again . But yet, y0u're being cruel t0 take everything fr0m me . Y0u destr0yed everything . D0 y0u fcuking care ?
Maybe what y0u want in a R/S is sex 0r 0ther things, n0t l0ve, I just want l0ve . We t0tally d0 nt0 have that in this R/S .
Trust and lack 0f sense 0f security is an0ther weakness in 0ur R/S t00 .
I was very calm when I text and call y0u . H0ping t0 hear s0mething different . H0w I wish I g0t en0ugh c0urage t0 tell y0u h0w I feel 0ver the ph0ne . My heart still haven changed a bit, still beats very fast
Until I replied y0u s0mething if y0u l0ve me why w0uld y0u n0t wanting t0 meet me and c0ntact me ? And I d0n't wanna drag this 0n, I just want it t0 end peacefully .
I was very calm when y0u say y0u currently g0t s0me0ne already .
After hearing it, my heart pass me the message saying that I still l0ve y0u . But was breaking d0wn deep inside .
But I guess its n0t w0rth it anym0re, despite I'm trying t0 salvage this R/S . At least I kn0w I've tried and I've t0 let g0 n0w .
And like what I say, I w0n't disturb y0u anym0re . Means I w0n't, ever again .
After y0u left me, I didn't watch m0vie and g0 t0wn f0r nearly 0ne m0nth ?
N0w I finally kn0w s0mething . In a R/S, it d0es n0t mean y0u l0ve and trust that pers0n wh0leheartly, y0u will get the same thing in return . I w0n't be s0 SERI0US and w0n't be seri0us in R/S and trusting pe0ple again . The trust is l0st, f0r g00d . The fact is it is n0t trust we are lack 0f, we lack 0f misc0mmunicati0n . We always kept quiet whenever we g0t s0mething in mind but d0es n0t tell each 0ther . If 0nly we c0mmunicate en0ugh, we w0n't be in this state n0w, PERHAPS ?
Perhaps I will even stay single f0r a very l0ng time 0r even the rest
Guess this time I'll leave quietly . Disappear f0r g00d .
Treasure th0se mem0ries . Y0're always 0n my mind . I hate myself f0r being s0ft hearted . I hate myself f0r l0ving y0u . I hate myself f0r n0t d0ing anything fr0m st0pping y0u t0 leave . I hate myself f0r being like this . I hate myself f0r being s0 timid and weak here . I hate myself f0r being adamant . I hate myself . I hate myself t0 the c0re .
I need t0 pick up my em0ti0ns and stay str0ng again .
Life still g0es 0n . It's n0t the end 0f the day f0r me .
Even y0u have decided t0 left me, I'll give y0u my blessings f0r y0u and her .
I d0n't want t0 t0wn, I d0n't want t0 g0 h0me late, I d0n't want t0 watch m0vies, everything 0f this makes me thinks 0f y0u . Till n0w, y0u're the 0nly pers0n I l0ve the m0st am0ng all my ex bf and hurt me m0re than what my ex d0ne t0 me . And willing t0 f0rgive and f0rget and think a l0t and be brave 0f .
Perhaps I'll f0rget y0u sl0wly .
Perhaps she is a l0t better than me, a l0t l0ving than me, a l0t prettier than me, a l0t perfect than me and everything y0u ever wanted in a girl and relati0nship . I g0t n0thing m0re t0 say . Y0u g0t y0ur new life, I 0nly c0uld give y0u my blessing . As l0ng as y0u're happy, I'll be happy f0r y0u t00 . Cause I l0ve y0u, and I want y0u t0 be REALLY HAPPY . And n0t pretending t0 be happy . Since y0u can d0 a l0t f0r her and she c0uld d0 s0 much f0r y0u and I can't d0ne anything f0r y0u . T0 y0u, I'm such a useless pers0n, such a failure . I always try my best t0 ... But I'm never g00d en0ugh ...
All I was h0ping f0r was a miracle that never exist .
Even y0u say this y0urself, the l0ve between me and y0u, y0u and her is different . All this while, I l0ve y0u f0r wh0 y0u are, I did n0t expect y0u t0 change .
But s0meh0w, I still expect f0r s0mething that w0n't happen 0r exist anym0re . But I kn0w we just can't be t0gether anym0re . We can't be what each 0ther wanted t0 be . 0ur expecti0ns in this R/S is t0tally different . When y0u're lying, what are y0u thinking inside y0ur heart ?
D0 y0u kn0w that the truth will be 0ut 0ne day eventually ? When y0u're telling 0ne lie, y0u're using 10 lies t0 c0ver it up . W0rth it ?
Y0u lack 0f sense 0f security and faithfulness . Y0u're just a player in R/S . Finally after d0ing s0 much, I g0t n0ne 0f y0ur l0ve . I either g0t all 0f y0ur l0ve 0r n0ne 0f y0ur l0ve . In the end, I g0t n0ne .
I guess this time it really is g00dbye .
You made it clear when y0u said that . >>>> I just d0n’t l0ve y0u n0 m0re .
N0w I kn0w l0ve is n0t imp0rtant, t0 me n0w 0nly m0ney is imp0rtant .
It is n0t meant t0 be . Numb the pain . Numb my heart . Numb me . I want t0 party till I f0rget . I wanna get drunk till I f0rget . Best is can l0st my mem0ry .
And I w0n't l00k f0rward anything fr0m y0u ANYM0RE . HAVE A G00D AND HAPPY LIFE .
I n0 l0nger interested in CUTE guys with g00d l00ks and b0ds and I h0pe I can like girls ... I wish I can be a les, instead .
L0ngest p0st ever . I swear . Last p0st ab0ut y0u .

It been a l0ng time since I went t0 watch m0vie and g0 t0wn after this messy breakup .
Maybe I did n0t d0 a l0t 0f great things f0r y0u, d0 n0t l0ve y0u a l0t like s0meb0dy did, but I still decide t0 give this R/S and y0u chances again and again .
What y0u say really still haunts me, I think ab0ut that alm0st everyday and tears will r0ll d0wn my cheeks .
I c0uld 0nly say I hate myself f0r l0ving y0u . Aishiteru, sarang haey0, i l0ve y0u, aku cinta padamu, & w0 ai ni . N0 l0nger f0und in my dicti0nary .
I'll pretend we never kn0wn each 0ther . :) Best ending f0r y0u and f0r me .
Girls 0ften d0n't mean what they say when they're angry . I'm glad and pr0ud 0f myself f0r being s0 brave t0 find the c0urage t0 tell y0u h0w I feel alth0ugh I was t0 expecting t0 tell y0u face t0 face, at least y0u w0n't see me crying in fr0nt 0f y0u . Last respect . L0ve is n0t a gift which y0u can give t0 any0ne y0u like .
EVERYTHING CAN C0ME T0 AN END . =D
G00DBYE L0VE .
G00DBYE MR N .
G00DBYE MR HAPPY .
G00DBYE BF(EX) .
G00DBYE BABY .

G00DBYE . =)

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Losing Someone
Death
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Looked down on
Disappointment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

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