* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diaryAll .

Sunday, November 1, 2009 ( 11/01/2009 12:07:00 AM )

I supp0se t0 bl0g yesterday 0n Hall0ween but didn't manage t0 be able t0 use the c0m 0n time . L0ls .
I think I'm being rand0m here .
Cause I d0n't wish t0 have any p0st f0r N0vember .
Actually n0t much t0 bl0g . I kn0w that my bl0g is n0t as attactive as 0thers, I d0 n0t need unwanted attenti0n, I'm n0t a attenti0n seeker, f0r y0ur inf0rmati0n ! ;D
Just wanna say: HAPPY HALL0WEEN ! (:
Anyway, its happy belated hall0ween ALREADY !

T00k the wr0ng bus again, this is the sec0nd time this m0nth .
Think I'm t00 tired 0r my lens is expired, I always wear expired lens 0r wear them f0r m0nths .
Waste m0ney 0n transp0rt recently all thanks t0 the interviews and my super blur directi0n, my weakness is directi0n, d0n't ask me that ! (:
Alth0ugh I've experience in Retail, but it's still hard f0r me t0 get a j0b ! Sighs, started t0 feel stress, I sh0uld get a pub j0b perhaps ?

Give l0ve a chance .
Give future a h0pe .

If y0u d0 care, why leave ?
If y0u kn0w, why pretend ?
Heart br0ken, m00dless, em0 .
Mixed feelings .
L, I d0ubt that I'll never get t0 see y0u again .
Very much f0r l0ve at first 0r sec0nd sight, I wanted t0 tell y0u h0w I'm feeling t0wards y0u but fear 0f rejecti0n cause I kn0w where d0 I stand in y0ur heart and I d0n't have faith in l0ve anym0re . As much as I feel like being in l0ve again, I'm like 0ther girls, I'm wanted a bf t00, wh0 d0esn't want t0 be pampered and d0te 0n ? But I guess I'm always n0t the lucky 0ne . Y0u're the pers0n I wanted . Y0u're my type, my everything . I can't be in l0ve . That is my fact . I w0n't have any happy ending .
The truth lies . The truth hurts . That is the fact .
N0 m0re l0ve . F0rget ~ !
I can't blame any0ne f0r the state I'm in right n0w .
W0 bu kuai le . I've f0rg0tten ab0ut the miserable past . I've f0rg0tten that s0me0ne wh0 just br0ke my heart 0ne m0nth ag0 .
I'm enduring all the pain, tell me h0w t0 release it 0ut ?

D0wn with flu .
Needs t0 rest already .

Z0uk0ut, any0ne ?
Jennifer's b0dy, any0ne ?

Diet, diet, diet .
I'm skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner . Hahaz !

I find that I'm n0t a very feminine girl . Alth0ugh I l0ve dressing up and make up, but I w0n't waste m0ney 0n branded g00ds 0r beauty pr0ducts and d0 manicure and pedicures, in fact I've never d0ne it in my life bef0re . L0ls . Seri0us, n0 j0ke . Hence, I hate myself f0r being s0 weak in R/S . F0r the cry baby girly tears . I HATE CRYING ! Superb em0ti0nal . I want t0 be the str0ng girl ! Y0u will see me start crying 0ver sad l0ve st0ry, damn I super em0ti0n sia . Hate myself f0r falling in l0ve . I hate tears in my eyes .
Given up 0n my future, given up 0n life, given up 0n l0ve, given up 0n trusting and believing, given up 0n everything .
Each day I live I'm waiting f0r a miracle that d0esn't exist .
Each day I live I'm l0sing h0pe and giving up .
W0nder h0w l0ng I still can take it .
N0w I d0n't have much expecti0n in life, I just want a peaceful and perhaps a happier life .
And what 0ther girls expected 0r want, I d0 n0t want any .
I think I'm the unique 0ne . I'm n0t the friendly girl next d00r . N0t perfect . And etc .
It takes time t0 really get t0 kn0w me . I can be nice . I can be happy t00 . I'm very r0ugh .
N0 matter what I d0 and say, I've never ever regret in my life .
Perhaps at times I will get th0se feelings .
Its my pr0blem I guess in this state . N0t any0ne's fault, I'm partly t0 blame t00 .

I feel l0st and all al0ne . Will any0ne be there ?
I'm always al0ne, I'm used t0 it .
Being l0nely isn't scary, what fears y0u m0st is n0b0dy is there when y0u need help .
I guess I've already given up 0n life and a l0t 0f things which I used t0 pin f0r .
I kn0w I'm very negative, but I can't help but have this feeling cause my life is really sucky, everything will g0 wr0ng, definite, I w0nder if I'm a JINX, unhappiness is always by my side .
Why can't g0d let me stay happy f0r 0nce ?
If y0u understand h0w I feel after s0 much happen, y0u'll kn0w h0w much I been thru and the pain inside .
I hate the fact that I'm n0t being happy at all yet I've t0 pretend t0 be happy .

Th0ught 0f cutting my hair, reb0nd and dye my hair .
Sh0uld I cl0se all my ear-h0les ? I've 16 0f them . L0ls . A l0t sia .
Fcuk th0se pimples 0n my f0rehead . Arghhhhhhhhh .
0h g0d, I'm hungry at this h0ur, guess I'm sleeping after typing this p0st .
Feel like killing myself, I'm d0ing st0cktake later, have t0 wake up superb early but I'm still using the c0m, h0w stubb0rn ~ !

N0te: This is n0t a EM0 p0st . (: My mind is very clear ab0ut what I type here .
PS. I'm getting that French C0nnecti0n watch s00n ~ ! (; Wait f0r me, 0kays ? I'll bring y0u h0me . =D

L0ls, I ended up typing a l0t . :))
0kays, I shall end here .
Till we meet again .
Update my tagb0ard with c0mments ! (: W0n't entertained t0 n0nsense ! L0ves l0ves <3>

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Labels: al0ne, b0ring bl0g ., changing 0f image, fcuk watch, Flu, Halloween, pr0per diet ., unhappiness, weakness, wr0ng transp0rtati0n