* ;CHARLEEN.L ; Happiness is all I ever wanted . (:

P E A C E

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

The diaryAll .

Sunday, November 1, 2009 ( 11/01/2009 12:07:00 AM )

I supp0se t0 bl0g yesterday 0n Hall0ween but didn't manage t0 be able t0 use the c0m 0n time . L0ls .
I think I'm being rand0m here .
Cause I d0n't wish t0 have any p0st f0r N0vember .
Actually n0t much t0 bl0g . I kn0w that my bl0g is n0t as attactive as 0thers, I d0 n0t need unwanted attenti0n, I'm n0t a attenti0n seeker, f0r y0ur inf0rmati0n ! ;D
Just wanna say: HAPPY HALL0WEEN ! (:
Anyway, its happy belated hall0ween ALREADY !

T00k the wr0ng bus again, this is the sec0nd time this m0nth .
Think I'm t00 tired 0r my lens is expired, I always wear expired lens 0r wear them f0r m0nths .
Waste m0ney 0n transp0rt recently all thanks t0 the interviews and my super blur directi0n, my weakness is directi0n, d0n't ask me that ! (:
Alth0ugh I've experience in Retail, but it's still hard f0r me t0 get a j0b ! Sighs, started t0 feel stress, I sh0uld get a pub j0b perhaps ?

Give l0ve a chance .
Give future a h0pe .

If y0u d0 care, why leave ?
If y0u kn0w, why pretend ?
Heart br0ken, m00dless, em0 .
Mixed feelings .
L, I d0ubt that I'll never get t0 see y0u again .
Very much f0r l0ve at first 0r sec0nd sight, I wanted t0 tell y0u h0w I'm feeling t0wards y0u but fear 0f rejecti0n cause I kn0w where d0 I stand in y0ur heart and I d0n't have faith in l0ve anym0re . As much as I feel like being in l0ve again, I'm like 0ther girls, I'm wanted a bf t00, wh0 d0esn't want t0 be pampered and d0te 0n ? But I guess I'm always n0t the lucky 0ne . Y0u're the pers0n I wanted . Y0u're my type, my everything . I can't be in l0ve . That is my fact . I w0n't have any happy ending .
The truth lies . The truth hurts . That is the fact .
N0 m0re l0ve . F0rget ~ !
I can't blame any0ne f0r the state I'm in right n0w .
W0 bu kuai le . I've f0rg0tten ab0ut the miserable past . I've f0rg0tten that s0me0ne wh0 just br0ke my heart 0ne m0nth ag0 .
I'm enduring all the pain, tell me h0w t0 release it 0ut ?

D0wn with flu .
Needs t0 rest already .

Z0uk0ut, any0ne ?
Jennifer's b0dy, any0ne ?

Diet, diet, diet .
I'm skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner . Hahaz !

I find that I'm n0t a very feminine girl . Alth0ugh I l0ve dressing up and make up, but I w0n't waste m0ney 0n branded g00ds 0r beauty pr0ducts and d0 manicure and pedicures, in fact I've never d0ne it in my life bef0re . L0ls . Seri0us, n0 j0ke . Hence, I hate myself f0r being s0 weak in R/S . F0r the cry baby girly tears . I HATE CRYING ! Superb em0ti0nal . I want t0 be the str0ng girl ! Y0u will see me start crying 0ver sad l0ve st0ry, damn I super em0ti0n sia . Hate myself f0r falling in l0ve . I hate tears in my eyes .
Given up 0n my future, given up 0n life, given up 0n l0ve, given up 0n trusting and believing, given up 0n everything .
Each day I live I'm waiting f0r a miracle that d0esn't exist .
Each day I live I'm l0sing h0pe and giving up .
W0nder h0w l0ng I still can take it .
N0w I d0n't have much expecti0n in life, I just want a peaceful and perhaps a happier life .
And what 0ther girls expected 0r want, I d0 n0t want any .
I think I'm the unique 0ne . I'm n0t the friendly girl next d00r . N0t perfect . And etc .
It takes time t0 really get t0 kn0w me . I can be nice . I can be happy t00 . I'm very r0ugh .
N0 matter what I d0 and say, I've never ever regret in my life .
Perhaps at times I will get th0se feelings .
Its my pr0blem I guess in this state . N0t any0ne's fault, I'm partly t0 blame t00 .

I feel l0st and all al0ne . Will any0ne be there ?
I'm always al0ne, I'm used t0 it .
Being l0nely isn't scary, what fears y0u m0st is n0b0dy is there when y0u need help .
I guess I've already given up 0n life and a l0t 0f things which I used t0 pin f0r .
I kn0w I'm very negative, but I can't help but have this feeling cause my life is really sucky, everything will g0 wr0ng, definite, I w0nder if I'm a JINX, unhappiness is always by my side .
Why can't g0d let me stay happy f0r 0nce ?
If y0u understand h0w I feel after s0 much happen, y0u'll kn0w h0w much I been thru and the pain inside .
I hate the fact that I'm n0t being happy at all yet I've t0 pretend t0 be happy .

Th0ught 0f cutting my hair, reb0nd and dye my hair .
Sh0uld I cl0se all my ear-h0les ? I've 16 0f them . L0ls . A l0t sia .
Fcuk th0se pimples 0n my f0rehead . Arghhhhhhhhh .
0h g0d, I'm hungry at this h0ur, guess I'm sleeping after typing this p0st .
Feel like killing myself, I'm d0ing st0cktake later, have t0 wake up superb early but I'm still using the c0m, h0w stubb0rn ~ !

N0te: This is n0t a EM0 p0st . (: My mind is very clear ab0ut what I type here .
PS. I'm getting that French C0nnecti0n watch s00n ~ ! (; Wait f0r me, 0kays ? I'll bring y0u h0me . =D

L0ls, I ended up typing a l0t . :))
0kays, I shall end here .
Till we meet again .
Update my tagb0ard with c0mments ! (: W0n't entertained t0 n0nsense ! L0ves l0ves <3>

X0x0
L0ve me, Charleen . (:

Labels: al0ne, b0ring bl0g ., changing 0f image, fcuk watch, Flu, Halloween, pr0per diet ., unhappiness, weakness, wr0ng transp0rtati0n

The diaryFlu, keeping puppies .

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 ( 2/11/2009 02:13:00 PM )

Y0ur smile is my best drug t0 get well really fast . ;D
Bad day . Down with flu . Sick . ):
I want a b0uquet 0f r0ses and tw0 necklace 0f y0ur ph0t0 and mine and with 0ur name in it . 0ne f0r y0u, 0ne f0r me . ;D

I am scared 0f the future .
Cause i went t0 a Chinese temple very l0ng time ag0, or is it a few years back ? Can't really remember .
0kays, back t0 t0pic .
The f0rtune teller says i have a bad future .
If i were t0 get marry, i will get div0rce .
I hear this i bec0me t0tally shag . Then i sh0uld be al0ne f0r the rest 0f my life ? SIGHS );
But i am still quite afraid even it is n0t heard fr0m my 0wn ears, cause b0th my Mum and Dad side's relative g0t div0rce . S0 i am scare, y0u see .
Fear f0r everything .
My life is very unsuccessful . Everything i d0 will n0t g0 well .
As the f0rtune teller c0ntuinues, i kn0w that my life will be very t0ugh as i am gr0wing 0lder .
If this is my fate, i will accept it . L00ks like i have t0 stay single f0r the rest 0f my life .
Must learnt t0 l00k at things on a different angles .

Th0ught 0f keeping a puppy .
Bu d0 s0me researches that m0st 0f the puppies might n0t suit y0u . F0r eg, if y0u get a puppy just because he is cute, y0u might aband0n him 0ne day when he gr0w up f0r n0t being cute anym0re .
And ...
Because with0ut having pr0perly researched what type 0f d0g that puppy will gr0w up t0 be, y0u will be taking a risk 0f whether the d0g will be the ideal c0mpani0n f0r y0u 0r n0t.
When y0u first l00k at any puppy, regardless 0f what type it is, it is s0 easy t0 0verl00k the fact in a few m0nths they will start t0 bec0me the size and type 0f whatever breed that they came fr0m.
In 0ther w0rds, alth0ugh the new puppy is small and seems easy t0 handle n0w, you need t0 make sure 0f the future size the d0g will bec0me and als0 if it will have characteristics suitable t0 y0ur h0me and family.

Puppy t0 d0g . C0nsider them y0ur life-mate . D0n't aband0n them if y0u knw0 y0u can't keep them . (:
0r send them t0 SPCA . Its s0 cruel .
Puppy is n0t y0ur t0y . =)

It is s0 ann0ying whenever i g0 f0r interview, they ask me t0 wait f0r their calls, i waited and waited, n0t receiving a single call, until i f0und a j0b, they will started t0 call if i am free t0 c0me f0r the next interview 0r ask me t0 start w0rk . S0 funny lahs .

Awaiting f0r miracles . (:

l0ves & misses
babyLEEN

Signing 0ff
huiHUI- BLURS0T0NG .

Labels: Flu, keeping puppies .